How do i let the past go? when i am happy now,,,?

I have this person that i LOVED with all my heart and he and i dated for 1 yr but we separated because he moved away and i havent forgotten him even though i got married and have children with someone els but the songs i hear without looking to remeber him kills me inside and i miss him..but i love my husband and i would never cheat on my hubby,,,but this person has impacted me and i met him BEFORE i met my husband..BUT i just need advice on how to let this other person go from my memory and heart.please dont make fun of me or call me names i am really affected by this...

Answer:
I sometimes have dreams of my first girlfriend in highschool, almost 30 years ago. Sometimes, a few years go by then one night she is in my dreams and we are happy. I wake up and feel empty and depressed it was not real. Then for a very days or weeks I think of her and wish about what might or could of been. Then, with out effort, I get on with the daily grind that keeps us busy and the memory goes to the back of my mind.

I dont think we can ever fully or intentionally forget those who impacted our lives in meaningful ways, nor ever stop having feelings of love and affection. In fact, it would be sadder if we where able to not care about those who mattered at one time or another.
Sounds like you never let yourself grieve over this guy. So grieve and appreciate the way you feel, but you have to allow yourself to heal from this situation because if you don't you will continue to feel the same way. Just sounds like you need to grieve and heal. Go for it!! You will feel much better.
I had something similar like that before. I had a friend who decided all of a sudden I wasn't good enough for her and she doesn't talk to me anymore. All I can say is enjoy your husband's company and spend alot of time with your friends and your kids; eventually you'll forget.
I wouldn't intentionally try to hurt you. Here are my thoughts:

I had a very similiar reunion happen between me and a girl I was with in high-school. We reconnected after 15 years of no contact. She is married and has children. The memories we share of are pure innocent love and attraction. Looking back the best memories of my life. She was very unhappy in her marriage when we reconnected. We held a not-so-innocent long distance relationship. We still love each other and hold those feelings but they are feelings of the past. We are different people now and the world is different. She has obligations and responsibilities. We still remain friends.

I don't believe you should or can "let the other person go". I believe love experiences can't be psychically/emotionally dissected from our hearts. I think a better approach is to cherish those feelings and put them in perspective of the things you have now in your life and need to cherish and build.

I hope this helped?

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