If someone constantly making belitting jokes at you until your confidence is shot.. how to deal with that?
My brother. I did confront him in person. He got VERY angry and attacked me verbally and was VERY rude. I felt rather shaken up. So I emailed him a letter (letters I find work great for confrontation for people who would just attack you in person for standing up to them). He emailed me back and told me how I am manipulative, etc, etc... basic delflecting and reverse psychology to make it into my fault for not taking a joke. I told him to show respect or get out of my life. We are still talking, but not much. BUT I still have him in my head. Ever since high school he has made fun of me and made jokes at my expense and made me feel SO stupid and incapable of doing anything right. For years, every time I saw him (which wasn't often), he would belittle me. I have now delt with him.. but in my everyday acitives, I hear cristisms in my head laughing at me for any little thing. How do I get rid of the 'track' in my head?
Answer:
You are so far ahead of his game!! Sorry you drew such a loser for a brother, and to think I always prayed for one (I was little I prayed for an Older brother too!) So you erase that track by recording over it. That's only one sentence but it's the method. And you surely know to avoid him at all costs because he is not your friend. YOU are Not YOUR brother's keeper!! He loses. You win. As soon as you allow enough positive input, through books and tapes, in your memory and use it in daily life (especially when he "gets" to you although you are going to start avoiding him).
You know what I would do? I would email/write him a subtle note and thank him for all his help ans guidance over the years and that he has shaped your future and made you a stronger and more determined person. OH, yes I would.
Don't let him break you down anymore. Treat him like the rotten boyfriend that cheated on you daily and lose him forever. YOU CANNOT CHANGE HIM. You can change yourself and your reaction to him because you want to and because you have the right. @8-)
Would your brother go to counseling with you to try and relearn how to relate to each other in a healthy way? This would be the best soulution. If not, then, although it is hard, keep away from him as best you can and when you can't turn a deaf ear to him and let him talk to the wall, or the air. You go and get some counseling alone then, and get working on your self esteem. You can change yourself in spite of your brother's harsh words.
He's your brother sure, but how much do you want to let someone else control you? People that belittle others are insecure about themselves so they do it to make themselves look better. The best way to handle it is to not provide a response. You will see that he tries harder to get a reaction out of you but will soon recognise that its pointless and will stop.
Be happy with yourself. If the things your brother points out are things that make you unhappy then change them. If not then don't allow him to get to you. People have to accept you for who and what you are. If they don't then it's their loss. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. :)
Stay away from this individual. Who is obviously suffering from a severe case of lack of self esteem and self love. He has some major issues it sounds like and making you feel bad makes him feel better about himself. Very very, sad. You know who you are and his opinion should not matter to you. Feel sorry for him and pray for him. He is obviously very ignorant. So who cares what his attitudes and opinions are of you or anyone else. He is a looser..I wish you the best of luck. God bless**
He must be insecure.
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Answer:
You are so far ahead of his game!! Sorry you drew such a loser for a brother, and to think I always prayed for one (I was little I prayed for an Older brother too!) So you erase that track by recording over it. That's only one sentence but it's the method. And you surely know to avoid him at all costs because he is not your friend. YOU are Not YOUR brother's keeper!! He loses. You win. As soon as you allow enough positive input, through books and tapes, in your memory and use it in daily life (especially when he "gets" to you although you are going to start avoiding him).
You know what I would do? I would email/write him a subtle note and thank him for all his help ans guidance over the years and that he has shaped your future and made you a stronger and more determined person. OH, yes I would.
Don't let him break you down anymore. Treat him like the rotten boyfriend that cheated on you daily and lose him forever. YOU CANNOT CHANGE HIM. You can change yourself and your reaction to him because you want to and because you have the right. @8-)
Would your brother go to counseling with you to try and relearn how to relate to each other in a healthy way? This would be the best soulution. If not, then, although it is hard, keep away from him as best you can and when you can't turn a deaf ear to him and let him talk to the wall, or the air. You go and get some counseling alone then, and get working on your self esteem. You can change yourself in spite of your brother's harsh words.
He's your brother sure, but how much do you want to let someone else control you? People that belittle others are insecure about themselves so they do it to make themselves look better. The best way to handle it is to not provide a response. You will see that he tries harder to get a reaction out of you but will soon recognise that its pointless and will stop.
Be happy with yourself. If the things your brother points out are things that make you unhappy then change them. If not then don't allow him to get to you. People have to accept you for who and what you are. If they don't then it's their loss. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. :)
Stay away from this individual. Who is obviously suffering from a severe case of lack of self esteem and self love. He has some major issues it sounds like and making you feel bad makes him feel better about himself. Very very, sad. You know who you are and his opinion should not matter to you. Feel sorry for him and pray for him. He is obviously very ignorant. So who cares what his attitudes and opinions are of you or anyone else. He is a looser..I wish you the best of luck. God bless**
He must be insecure.
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