Moral dilemma; nephew is getting married soon. am fond of him, but heard probably involved in child porn and?
Answer:
i would talk to the police.
Does his future wife know of this? I would want to know if I were her. Other than that there isn't much you can do except be wary and watchful.
Tell the police get him out of circulation ~~
This is insane. You can't do both!
How could you possibly "acknoweledge the marriage" if you believe there is ANY way your nephew is a criminal committing acts against children? You would silently allow this unknowing woman to marry him,all the while believing he is a terrible guy?
Child porn/molestation is a VERY HARSH accusation. If he IS NOT involved in these things, then how dare you suggest they don't have children?
I think you had better speak to your "source" on this info and get some facts going here.
If he is who your source says he is, you damned well better avoid the wedding, warn the bride and call the police. Period.
If the source has no proof and is spreading falsities, you had better tell your source to shut the cakehole, stop sperading lies and get to that wedding.
Find out, its important!
Why don't you talk to your nephew and ask him about his involvement with child porn. You are placing a huge amount of reliance on 2nd hand information. If his answers do not satisfy you check with the authorities in his area. In other words get the facts. If what you have heard is accurate I would be sure to speak with his bride-to-be and tell her only the facts. After that it will be up to her if she continues her plans to marry him or to have his children.
If this is true, I would not under any circumstances acknowledge the wedding?. Why would this friend of his tell you this? His friend may have his own reason for telling you this. Does he maybe have feelings for the bride to be? Or is he really concerned about the children. You know I would corner this nephew and ask him straight up, in his face. If it all turns out to be true I would tell the bride ASAP. I don't think the police can do any thing to any one for looking at porn. Can they??
You can't make that suggestion, it's not up to you. It's not even any of your business. And, you don't even know that what you heard was true...your words said "probably involved" and nothing definite, no police record, etc. and here you are not only blaming him but trying to ruin his life, his marriage and put a damper on everything, on his and his fiancee dreams. If that bothers you then talk with your nephew at some quiet place over coffee, tell him what you heard and see his reaction. Listen closely to his response. Take that response back to where you heard it in the first place and confront those people.
if you eventually find out that the accusation is true , do not agree to the marriage because when the trouble starts you would be linked up .
confront him about it. i want nothing to do with someone elike that..... where there is smoke there is fire. his wife needs to know if she has childrent they need protection.
To be fond of him means that you've had to have spent a certain amount of time around him. Use your judgement, as far as what to do about the information given to you. Be mindful that if you do nothing, and it was true, then you are putting many other children at risk. Knowledge of a crime and doing nothing about it makes you an accessory to the crime. The question shouldn't be whether you should acknowledge the wedding, but whether you should go to the police and possibly make life a little better for all of our children.
I agree with the notions put forth (I can't see them while answering) and here's what I would INSIST you do.
1. interrogate your source - IMMEDIATELY
determine whether it warrrants further investigation - if not - don't worry about it.
if SO.
I'd find a way to see about preventing the marriage - either talking to the bride - or talking to the nephew - if needs be - notify a detective - the problem is
this is a SERIOUS crime - one that if not now will DESTROY their lives later on. Sometimes you dont have a choice whether or NOT you're going to hurt someone - but only whether you're going to hurt them a little now or a TON later.
IF HE IS INVOLVED IN PORN - My thoughts are - there are probably hiccups in their relationship as it is that it would be easy to call it off - people involved in pornography aren't the most stable when starting relationships...
I'd actually have to think about this more.but at SOME point this is GOING to become public. Why? Because if it IS true - it's ALREADY public - it won't last. It's GOING to fall or have fallout - or something DESTRUCTIVE. Don't think you're being "nice" by doing nothing..
I'd try to stop the wedding - I would feel morally obligated to prevent that young girl from destroying her life - and save him and help him become rehabilitated - there IS hope for him.
Dr. Dean Belknap of University of Utah wrote an interesting piece - an AMAZING piece in Meridian Magazine Online about overcoming pornography and the neurolopsychological impact it has - though I can't find it right now - email me deep6dit2@yahoo.com and I can find it on my other computer for you.
I might tell him - that you've found out - and you may consider giving him an ultimatum - turn himself in and get help - or you can turn him in because he doesn't want to waste his life on this...especially if there's a possibiilty of him acting on it..and that's a possibility...
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