My exboyfriend is being manipulated by his "friend", how can i help him?
Things were great with my bf, one day he said he was in love and the next he broke up with me stating he didn't want to be in a relationship anymo. He later said he couldnt believe he broke up with me. He lives with a friend who hates women and is jealousy of my bf, his family, intelligence and looks. His friend was jealousy of our relationship too often making unnecessary remarks.His friend also verbally abused me sayin i shld move on and am a liar.Gradually my bf stopped playin sports, dropped out of uni&broke up with me(like his "friend").many other things have happend too which suggest that he is jealousy of him;he fancied me and resented that i never likd him. Im not as concerned about my bf comin back to me as i am his welfare, he has jus filled his life with workin and smokin pot... jus lik his friend!the manipulation is subltle bt seriously worryin now that things have gone so far; hw will he get away from his "friend" as they live together!?!pls help!
Answer:
I wonder if your EX's friend is the problem. First and foremost as I read I thought, I wonder if he is doing drugs, because it sounds typical of drug addicts. Then you say he is smoking pot. I would be more worried about an addiction then I would worry about his friend manipulating you. Secondly, be careful judging his friend based on his friend's interactions with you and what your EX says. I would bet dollars to donuts that your EX talked about you when he was mad, and talked to his best friend about it. This means that his best friend would have a negative impression of you\, and probably not be so nice. Partly I know this is the case because your EX talks about his best friend to you in the same way,(i.e. he is jealous, he likes you but can't have you, etc.). As far as breaking up with you and regretting it, I am sure he does, but that doesn't mean he did it at someone Else's behest. I would strongly suggest that you move on. I am sure you care for your EX, but he has to help himself now. All that will happen if you involve yourself is allow him to continue the way he is, and destroy yourself at the same time. Think about it and good luck.
I think you need to talk to him, away from his friend. If that doesnt work, then its his loss. One day he will see his friends true colors.
Let him stay at your place, and or tell his family about his newly acquired underachieving ways.
You can not change someone unless they want it for themselves, and worrying never helped anyone. Let it go, it sounds like you are describing your bf as gay and now he is with his gay friend, leave sleeping dogs lay, you might get bit!
offer to let him move in with you til he gets back on his feet.
It's hard because you hate seeing him do this to himself but at the same time he is being the follower and not the leader until he can make up his own mind no one will change him especially if there is a so called "friend" standing by him telling him and showing him that it's OK to do that stuff and it's fun. I would talk to him about it but be gentle on how you talk about his friend guys become very protective when it comes to their friends I know you feel like bad mouthing his friend but you have to remember his "friend" is not making him do anything he's just dumb enough to follow.
There is not much you can do. Your friend has made the choice to listen to this other person and take it to heart. He's also made the choice of the lifestyle he has; only he can change it. Hopefully, at some point he'll see this "friend" for what he is, and perhaps he will also choose a more fulfulling, sober life.
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Answer:
I wonder if your EX's friend is the problem. First and foremost as I read I thought, I wonder if he is doing drugs, because it sounds typical of drug addicts. Then you say he is smoking pot. I would be more worried about an addiction then I would worry about his friend manipulating you. Secondly, be careful judging his friend based on his friend's interactions with you and what your EX says. I would bet dollars to donuts that your EX talked about you when he was mad, and talked to his best friend about it. This means that his best friend would have a negative impression of you\, and probably not be so nice. Partly I know this is the case because your EX talks about his best friend to you in the same way,(i.e. he is jealous, he likes you but can't have you, etc.). As far as breaking up with you and regretting it, I am sure he does, but that doesn't mean he did it at someone Else's behest. I would strongly suggest that you move on. I am sure you care for your EX, but he has to help himself now. All that will happen if you involve yourself is allow him to continue the way he is, and destroy yourself at the same time. Think about it and good luck.
I think you need to talk to him, away from his friend. If that doesnt work, then its his loss. One day he will see his friends true colors.
Let him stay at your place, and or tell his family about his newly acquired underachieving ways.
You can not change someone unless they want it for themselves, and worrying never helped anyone. Let it go, it sounds like you are describing your bf as gay and now he is with his gay friend, leave sleeping dogs lay, you might get bit!
offer to let him move in with you til he gets back on his feet.
It's hard because you hate seeing him do this to himself but at the same time he is being the follower and not the leader until he can make up his own mind no one will change him especially if there is a so called "friend" standing by him telling him and showing him that it's OK to do that stuff and it's fun. I would talk to him about it but be gentle on how you talk about his friend guys become very protective when it comes to their friends I know you feel like bad mouthing his friend but you have to remember his "friend" is not making him do anything he's just dumb enough to follow.
There is not much you can do. Your friend has made the choice to listen to this other person and take it to heart. He's also made the choice of the lifestyle he has; only he can change it. Hopefully, at some point he'll see this "friend" for what he is, and perhaps he will also choose a more fulfulling, sober life.
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