Morbid Thoughts, why do I have them, and how do I get rid of them?
Answer:
Everybody has morbid thoughts once in a while, the key is to not dwell on them. As buddhist monks will tell you, you need to develop the courage to not chase after a thought. If you have a morbid thought, and are emotionally appalled by it, affected by it, then you will keep thinking about it, and only perpetuate it. If you just accept the fact that you have this thought, and not react to it, then it will just pass through like the wind.
Be aware of your thoughts, but remain unaffected by them.
I have to agree with alex G...
I have a friend who belives he is possessed by a demon. Funny how it always knows what he is thinking.
I personally believe that he himself is the 'demon', and is too afraid to admit it.
I have developed an appreciation for the darker side of life. Though I still have morbid thoughts, a lot more of them I can laugh off or appreciate them for what they are: a reflection on my own mortality in this dystopian world. In my spooky life, yes, morbid thougts are quite normal and acceptable. At least, that's how I adapted to my overflowing cup of tragedy.
Memories will forever be with you. The best that you can do is learn to live with them and not be bothered by them. The flashbacks will continue until you can let go of them. They may lessen in time, but they will never go away.
If by "morbid thoughts" you mean suicide, I feel so sad when someone who intends to kill themselves fails and becomes a veggie because they didn't know everything about the method they chose and why choosing that method was yet another bad idea.
Some of my friends think about death and their own death many times a week and are still with us. One of them has tried a dozen times, but has since given up. Another thinks about suicide many times a day, knows all the methods and their advantages/disadvantages, but hasn't attempted once because they know there really isn't a good method for them (between their vanity, desire for comfort, creativity of the method, and high threshold for the lethality of the method). They say that their morbid thoughts comfort them by reminding them that they're not that far away from non-existence should their life in their own judgement becomes too unbearable, even though they will likely never act on those thoughts.
Just because you have morbid thoughts does not mean that you will act on them. However, it's not a very good idea to share that you have morbid thoughts unless you happen to be Goth (in which case, morbid thoughts are glanced over by those who would harm you as just theatrics, but understood by fellow Goths) because it only takes one misguided good Samaritan to pave the road all the way to Hell. It starts with a call to the police, who then torture you, before taking you to a hospital ER, where you are tortured with bondage and drugs, before assigned to a ward in a hospital, where you are imprisoned against your will for no other reason than that you *might* commit a victimless offense not currently on the books. Suicide as a crime is inherited from English Common Law, a code that had over 200 death by hanging offenses.
I couldn't care less when someone dies. Death is an event of beauty for me since I believe nothing exists after death, that this world can't be fixed, that there is no salvation because there is nothing to be saved or saved from. I just don't want you to be harmed anymore than necessary in this one life.
Due to the nature of the hospital system in this country, revealing that you have morbid thoughts or suicidal ideation would be a very bad idea. Often, the emergency room causes nerve damage because they're not skilled in bondage and have no understanding of how long the novice can be put in bondage (not the kinky kind, but nonetheless with the same risks but amplified because a dominant will never really leave a submissive alone in bondage while hospitals put patients in bondage to forget about them) where the arms are above the head. Be sure to have a friend who has a variety of handcuff/restraint keys to call to release you from the bondage before nerve damage sets in should you talk about morbid thoughts with anyone but close confidants.
You may be more aware of your own mortality than the humdrum masses. Carpe mortem and appreciate the taciturn beauty of death, the smell of formaldehyde, the expansive beauty of a cemetery, the softness of velvet, and the sweet taste of delicious self-deprecating humor. Oh yea, I love the bats in gaslight, the storm at midnight, the bride in the tomb, the paintings in the hall...
Welcome to the horror show. You have the rest of your life to think about that which you cannot change.
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