Getting over male dependancy ?

I'm 22 and i notice guys still have an unhealthy effect over my emotional and mental state. Even if i don't care to admit it in real life with my words or actions, the way i feel on daily basis is influenced by guys and if i am accepted/wanted by them. Eg, recently i had this notion that one day i might be able to win the attention of this certain guy and i started feeling like i was working towards something so i started taking care of myself. Than realized i was just being dellusional and he had no idea i existed and than i started feeling depressed and worthless and whats the point and go back to my addictive ways. Yet i only feel free when i am by myself and suffocated and insecure when i am with a guy. Anybody else felt this way ? What can i do about this, how do i bring myself out of this pattern and gain a stronger sense of self ?

Answer:
I have studied relationships for awhile now from the male and female perspective.

If you were male I would be explaining something called "inner game" to help you out. It still applies somewhat though. You need to start thinking of yourself as a prize. Its a bad sign that you were so attached to someone that "had no idea you existed". The truth is you shouldn’t be that focused on anyone that isn’t focused on you. Think of all the things you like about yourself as often as you can. If you can improve on your weaknesses then do that too. Get to the point where you believe any guy would be lucky to have you.

The truth is confidence is a huge part of wooing and keeping a love interest. It sounds like you need a healthy dose of that so I will recommend something.

Body language: Your body and mind are in a constant feedback loop with each other. Meaning if you feel sad, you will frown. Most people think that its a cause in effect thing but really it works in both directions. Frowning, for instance can also be the reason you are feeling sad. So its important that you position yourself with confident upbeat body language even if you don’t feel up to it. It will help a lot.

I know this sounds silly but if you pretend to be confident and happy, people will respond to it positively and you WILL BECOME confident and happy.

For relationship advice after that read "The Rules". The first section or two is on confidence I believe.
I am a man but I do think this is a fairly normal feeling among heterosexual women to some greater or lesser degree.Often it's far stronger in some women/girls but overall it's a normal thing .
Well, the truth is ( and I hate to be harsh but its thr truth) You can NOT be happy with someone else, until you are happy with yourself. Start there, work on that. Do things for yourself. find out what it is that makes your self get up every day and look forward to it. You should never judge or grade yourself based on relationship status. Just think once you find out what makes yourself happy then youll be able to focus on how to make other people happy. Then you can be a part of a relationship and appreciate it more.

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