Why are some people afraid of getting married?
Answer:
I suppose it`s all to do with the saying `taking the plunge`. Some people just daren`t do it. It`s the thought of committing to one person until you die. It seems like a long time if you`re in your 20`s. I`ve been married for 28 years, and believe me, it only seems like a few years ago since the kids were little and we were struggling to make ends meet. Getting married is the foundation of society and my personal opinion is that you should ideally be married before you have kids. There`s nothing wrong with tradition. That`s why society is starting to fall apart.
Commitment?
I wouldn't go as far as to say I am afraid . I think my personal reasons are because I come from a broken home . Mother married 3 times my father married 4 times . I think I just don't see marriage as an ever lasting commitment.
I am with a wonderful guy and not for one moment thought of getting married .
Like who?
i think my bf is scared of getting married cos he thinks i will get all of his money if we get divorced when its not money am after its him. i love him for him not for what he has got. and getting married at such a young age is silly
A lot of People fear commitment...and some are just not ready to take a major step in their life like getting married...maybe also the fear of a broken heart...sadly getting married doesn't exactly mean what I used too.
I hope this help at least a little bit...
I have no idea, what baffles me more is people who are actively against it! I can sort of understand if they had bad experiences with their parents (although many people I know who did desperatly want to get married so hey can do it right) but it's not like it's going to impeed you any more than having a life partner does
I think with being afraid of marriage it's the thought of committing rather than just drifting along that scares people
im not, im more afraid of never getting married and ending up a old spinster!
Are you living 2day? Do you see how the world is?
most of America bases their judgements on the superficial and, in marriage, once one of the wedded loses a part of that superficiality, the other loses interest because it's not hard to replace with another. the divorce rate is high; not a good sign for single people. more and more people are becoming narsisistic which is always a realtionship no-no.
Cause it means being faithfull to your partner. Not many people can be. I've been married over twelve years and have never had the urge to "be" with another man than my husband.
Commiting to something they may be unsure about,its a bit scary.
some people do not like change in their lives. they like things just the way they are.
they may be afraid that things will change or go wrong once married.
Or they may feel hemmed in and suffocated if they are used to and want their own personal space.
I get married on Saturday and I'm scared. I'm not going to do a runner or anything its just the whole being the centre of attention thing I'm not good with.
Also I think some people after being cheated on in previous relationships do question whether they are doing the right thing or not. After all if it all goes wrong its more difficult to have a clean break up when you're married. I'm 34, this is my 1st marriage and that is the reason why I've waited so long.
CHANGE
I must admit I was scared of getting married.
I put it down to the horrific divorce my parents put themselves through.
I was 14 when they split.
I'm 36 now and they have never spoken..ever.
I thought I'd end up like them.
That was until I met my now Husband.
I've been married 3 years now and I love it!
because things change a lot when you get married.
it's a big change. changes are very scary.
people prefer what feels safe to them.
many people have seen what happened in their parents marriages, and divorces; and don't want to go through that. Plus they probably associate being married with the negative rather than the positive.
many don't want to 'fail' like their parents did.
also, your role changes a great deal when you are married.
you become a wife, or a husband. you are expected to act differently within those roles.
you have your own expectations of what a wife or husband is or does. which is a lot of the time what your parents did. and those roles can just kick in and it's as if you've changed suddenly or become like your parents. or that you have to be a grown up now.
many people do fear commitment, for various reasons. i find most are fears are from how there parents were, rather than really from being hurt before in a love relationship in the past.
a lot of people say it is this, and think it is from being hurt from a past relationship, and avoid getting hurt again.
seems most of the hurt could go back to hurts we had as children when we were more vulnerable.
getting married makes you vulnerable like that.
any change is stressful. even if it's a positive change.
I think it is because marriage is not sacred any more. So many people come from broken homes and have children out of wedlock and so people don't see it as a big thing anymore.
I am fortunate enough to have parents who have now been married for 40 years. I myself have been married for 9 years. My husband had an affair 2 years ago, and I take some responsibility for not putting commitment into our marriage. I forgave him and we are now stronger than ever.
My mum and dad are my biggest influence and we will do our best to make sure our children are brought up with inspirational parents like I was.
It's that word MARRIAGE!.. people think they are gonna be tied down. that's the scary part. If you both want it,why not?. It doesn't mean a jail term,if you both stay the same people. Don't change for anybody.
Marriage is an institution...
... but who wants to live in an institution?
Well... Routine, commitment, responsibility, one partner to grow old together with... and it's hard to find the right person. and there are many risks along the way. arguments, fights, plenty of misunderstandings. i.e. more problems to deal with.
Perhaps they know too many people who have had failed marriages, maybe their parents. Some people are just too scared to have any type of commitment, although living together is just as big a commitment especially if you have kids!
responsibility
I'm 38 and unmarried, and I have to admit it ticks me off when people ask me why I'm scared of commitment and marriage. I'm not "scared" of it, I have sound reasons for not taking the plunge. My parents have been married 45 years and now they are in their dotage they can hardly stand to be in the same room together at times. I know they weren't like that when I was a kid, so it seems fair to assume they started taking eachother for granted some years back and it snowballed into the sorry state they're in now. So forgive me for not wanting to end up like them, but I'd much rather be old and on my own than stuck with someone I can't stand and who can't stand me. So many people go into marriage without thinking, and only seem to think about "the day" itself, and then after a couple of years of mundane life it all ends in divorce once the reality of married life hits home.
Before you ask, yes I'm straight and I love the company of women, but I've never felt the need to ask one to spend the rest of her life with me. Society seems to put pressure on people to "not be left on the shelf", which is such a load of bollocks. If you're happy being single or in a relationship where marriage doesn't feature on the agenda then it's nobody else's damn business why you're not married.
yes for sure
why past experience
too much money on the wedding and the divorce
not met the right person
are we just plain too fussy or just too darn scared
i go for the latter
cos it traps you
For 'Some People' ...It could be like the person who is afraid to move about in the dark - for fear of hurting the self ~ or another.
There could be a Fear of the Unknown: Fear of Commitment: Fear of being tried down: Fear of failure: Fear of Responsibility: Fear of Mother-In- Law: Fear or real Intimacy: Fear of Parenthood: Fear of Financial Commitments: Loss of Freedom: Loss of what Has Been: Loss of Security.
They seem like pretty good reasons to me.
Can you offer a set of 'countermeasures' that will sooth those fears - for Some People.?
Sash.
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