Advice On How To Deal With A Mothers Boy?
My boyfriend and I have been going out over a year and I really feel
the relationship should have moved on by now. Despite the fact that I am
23 and he is 24, he still lives with his parents while I rent. We live
at oppososite ends of the city so seeing each other means commuting all
the time.
I would like us to rent an apartment together, but he will not move out
of his parents house. He uses all kinds of excuses, but mostly says he
doesnt want to waste money on renting when we could save for a house.
The fact is I know he will never do this as he is a poor saver and lacks
motivation. We have no privacy really, and I am wearing of the
situation. Eventually he agreed to move out and I decided to drop the issue and
wait for him to take the initiative. Well he didnt, and I have now
told my landlady Im leaving in 4 weeks. I told him this, expecting him to
tske the hint but instead he just said that I could still visit him at
his house when I wanted. It seems he intends to stay with his parents
for the long run.
I dont want to be pushy but we are in out twenties and I want this to
move on to a more adult relationship. In your opinion, what can I do to
get him out of that house?? I HAVE to move now, and I am short on
time.
Shadow
Answer:
Shadow,
If you want a grown up, more serious relationship you are going to have to find someone new.
I was in a similiar relationship. Dated a guy while in my twenties for 5 years. He lived with his mom and dad (his dad ruled everything!) and as your boyfriend, mine was saving to buy a home and didn't want to waste money on rent?
You know what? I hear from him via email from time to time - he's 38 and still living at home and saving for a house... I'm not kidding.
My advice is don't waste your time and effort. Plus, if he's a mama's boy, do you really want to take over babying him? Are you ready for everything to be all about him 24/7?
I also figured out that my boyfriend was so immature (as far as relationships go) that I'd never be able to count on him to take care of me at all. There is no way he could - he had no life experience. He was always the one being taken care of, just like a teenager.
Your growing up and outgrowing him. Think about moving on to a new beginning in your life and finding someone who can be your PARTNER - not someone you have to try to figure out how to get them to do what you want.
Good luck.
Dump him. I come from a similar kind of culture (Indian descent) and these kind of mother's boys will NEVER leave their parents for another person.
Do not deal with a mother's boy. Send him back to his mother. They are one HUGE headache. Speaking from personal experience..
You will ALWAYS...be put in the position of competing against his mother...
He's not that into you. Not a mommy's boy. He is just not that into you. Sorry.
I'm sorry but I think you should move on. He basically has given you his answer.I dated a mama's boy once..I wanted the same as you,but in the end I had to go. Couldn't take it anymore.
Honey I am sorry to say this...but inside you have your own answer. If you are ready for your relationship to move forward and he is not even willing to cohabitate with you then its time for you to stop waiting and move on,find someone that has the same wants and views on relationships as you do. Good luck
LOL I am still dealing with issues as a result of my hubby being a mommy's boy. We got married and moved 700 miles away due to the military, Things havd gotten alot better now that we are away , but when we go back home.. they both drive me nuts. Face it. I don't think he will change.
He is what we call a child of the new millennium. Like others like him, he will be at home with his mother at 40 so he can be selfish and still keeping a girl on a string. We have made everyone selfish to the point that consideration of others is subjugated to after me. Me Me Me. Don't walk, but run from this type of person either male or female. A relationship with them is going no where fast.
its tough to deal with a mamma's boy coz such biological adults but emotional children never grow up. No matter how much u may try he will always cling on to his mother and nobody would like a man who goes boo-hooing to his mother for every little problem that hits him.
Psychologically speaking, such boys have a fixation with the infant years of their life. Over- satisfaction or under-satisfaction of the chilldhood needs make the person fixated.
Its a tough decision but when u think that u have tried enough and u will never be able to change him u should move on.
. Your boyfriend does not want to take your relationship to a higher level. He is content to live with mommy, where he does not have to worry about responsibilities, if, as you said, had waited for him to take the initiative, Why did YOU give notice? . He also shows a total lack of caring, when he says 'well, you can still visit'. From your description , he doesn't seem concerned at all, that your almost on the street. Are you sure this guy is your boyfriend? I must say after all hes displayed to you, Why in the world , would you want him in your house? are you going to take on the roll of 'mommy? personally , he sounds very immature. you'd do yourself a favor, by moving on, and finding someone who really cares about you. Leave the little boy alone, he isn't ready to grow up, or just doesn't want to with you. That may sound harsh, but I'm just going by what Ive read. Please do not take offense,
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the relationship should have moved on by now. Despite the fact that I am
23 and he is 24, he still lives with his parents while I rent. We live
at oppososite ends of the city so seeing each other means commuting all
the time.
I would like us to rent an apartment together, but he will not move out
of his parents house. He uses all kinds of excuses, but mostly says he
doesnt want to waste money on renting when we could save for a house.
The fact is I know he will never do this as he is a poor saver and lacks
motivation. We have no privacy really, and I am wearing of the
situation. Eventually he agreed to move out and I decided to drop the issue and
wait for him to take the initiative. Well he didnt, and I have now
told my landlady Im leaving in 4 weeks. I told him this, expecting him to
tske the hint but instead he just said that I could still visit him at
his house when I wanted. It seems he intends to stay with his parents
for the long run.
I dont want to be pushy but we are in out twenties and I want this to
move on to a more adult relationship. In your opinion, what can I do to
get him out of that house?? I HAVE to move now, and I am short on
time.
Shadow
Answer:
Shadow,
If you want a grown up, more serious relationship you are going to have to find someone new.
I was in a similiar relationship. Dated a guy while in my twenties for 5 years. He lived with his mom and dad (his dad ruled everything!) and as your boyfriend, mine was saving to buy a home and didn't want to waste money on rent?
You know what? I hear from him via email from time to time - he's 38 and still living at home and saving for a house... I'm not kidding.
My advice is don't waste your time and effort. Plus, if he's a mama's boy, do you really want to take over babying him? Are you ready for everything to be all about him 24/7?
I also figured out that my boyfriend was so immature (as far as relationships go) that I'd never be able to count on him to take care of me at all. There is no way he could - he had no life experience. He was always the one being taken care of, just like a teenager.
Your growing up and outgrowing him. Think about moving on to a new beginning in your life and finding someone who can be your PARTNER - not someone you have to try to figure out how to get them to do what you want.
Good luck.
Dump him. I come from a similar kind of culture (Indian descent) and these kind of mother's boys will NEVER leave their parents for another person.
Do not deal with a mother's boy. Send him back to his mother. They are one HUGE headache. Speaking from personal experience..
You will ALWAYS...be put in the position of competing against his mother...
He's not that into you. Not a mommy's boy. He is just not that into you. Sorry.
I'm sorry but I think you should move on. He basically has given you his answer.I dated a mama's boy once..I wanted the same as you,but in the end I had to go. Couldn't take it anymore.
Honey I am sorry to say this...but inside you have your own answer. If you are ready for your relationship to move forward and he is not even willing to cohabitate with you then its time for you to stop waiting and move on,find someone that has the same wants and views on relationships as you do. Good luck
LOL I am still dealing with issues as a result of my hubby being a mommy's boy. We got married and moved 700 miles away due to the military, Things havd gotten alot better now that we are away , but when we go back home.. they both drive me nuts. Face it. I don't think he will change.
He is what we call a child of the new millennium. Like others like him, he will be at home with his mother at 40 so he can be selfish and still keeping a girl on a string. We have made everyone selfish to the point that consideration of others is subjugated to after me. Me Me Me. Don't walk, but run from this type of person either male or female. A relationship with them is going no where fast.
its tough to deal with a mamma's boy coz such biological adults but emotional children never grow up. No matter how much u may try he will always cling on to his mother and nobody would like a man who goes boo-hooing to his mother for every little problem that hits him.
Psychologically speaking, such boys have a fixation with the infant years of their life. Over- satisfaction or under-satisfaction of the chilldhood needs make the person fixated.
Its a tough decision but when u think that u have tried enough and u will never be able to change him u should move on.
. Your boyfriend does not want to take your relationship to a higher level. He is content to live with mommy, where he does not have to worry about responsibilities, if, as you said, had waited for him to take the initiative, Why did YOU give notice? . He also shows a total lack of caring, when he says 'well, you can still visit'. From your description , he doesn't seem concerned at all, that your almost on the street. Are you sure this guy is your boyfriend? I must say after all hes displayed to you, Why in the world , would you want him in your house? are you going to take on the roll of 'mommy? personally , he sounds very immature. you'd do yourself a favor, by moving on, and finding someone who really cares about you. Leave the little boy alone, he isn't ready to grow up, or just doesn't want to with you. That may sound harsh, but I'm just going by what Ive read. Please do not take offense,
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