Have you ever had to explain away an adult's behavior to a child?
Answer:
All the time during Social Studies. Trying to explain to 8 year olds why all the white people enslaved everyone else is a bit difficult, but tough discussions like those are the ones that really open up great dialogs. You can learn a lot from children when you ask them to analyze adult behavior.
I have tried. It like trying to explain to a trash can how a cubic equation is solved. i was tired. the information fell out of the child's mind in three seconds.
nope, I haven't
"explain away" is not the same as simply "explain" I think
tel the truth, the kids know anyway, don't dwell on the bad things, realize they might not have the experience or context to grasp the ful picture
yet say things to explain it
make the answers fit the questions they ask and their maturity level
Yes, My mother is an alcoholic and during family get togethers and events, she gets herself ripped and becomes very confrontational.
I use it as a lesson for my kids about what happens when you drink to much and what alcohol can do to you.
My girls are really too young to understand the whole situation so I'm just covering the basics.
Hi,
Yes and it was a long, long process. The child was grateful to me for my support; it brought out secrets and involved a lot of people. It brought out things of my own past and I had to make a stand against someone which meant also upsetting other people I loved. It caused emotional barriers within the family but my priority was with the child and giving the child the protection I never got when I was young.
I had to explain that an adult cannot always be trusted no matter what they said and that an adult's behaviour wasn't always decent. I had to get the child to believe that it wasn't the child that was causing all the friction and upset in the family but the adult and although the cirumstances had to be addressed the child was no way in the wrong.
The fact that I believed what she told me instantly and related it immediately to my own experiences in the past helped the child. I think I was the one who went through hell with all the memories, with having proof that what I thought happenned to me did happen to me and having to face up to my own horrors and emotions. Thank god I have a supportive husband. It's still difficult. It's not talked about any more in certain parts of the family but at least it was brought out into the open and I think I feel in a way 'better late than never' at least in some small way, justice was done.
Polly
yes i had to explain an adult behavior
felt awkward
Kids don't have abstract thinking until about the age of 12 or 13. They really live in the moment. Don't you wish we could do that? I once sat and gave my 9 year old a long winded explanation about something someone else had done and she then looked at me and asked if we could go shopping. They really don't care. We attempt to explain and rationalize because it makes us feel better. Nothing wrong with saying, "Gee, I'm sorry about.." Ask them what they think, "What do you think about grandma's drinking?" That's good modeling for kids. Also own up to your own mistakes and tell them when you were wrong. No need to go farther!
It can only be done in a child's world. Adult actions in a child's world do not compute. Lower the threshold. ie: My daughter was shown 'Birth of a baby' in kindergarten. She came home furious because the doctor spanked the baby and the baby didn't do anything wrong. That was the main theme of the movie to her.
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