Is it possible to truly be in love with someone without being monogamous?
Answer:
I'm completely in love with my husband but I still find myself seriously attracted to other men.. My husband also has crushes and attractions to other women.. While nothing has ever happened, if our source of attraction expressed interest, I don't think we would have stop ourselves..
when I was younger I thought the idea of an open marraige was odd and that it meant that you didn't trully love your partner.. but I realize now that love and respect and life goals have nothing to do with sex.. it's hard to explain.
did any of that make sense?
Yes, you're being selfish and pigheaded.
If you do in depth research on human history back to the beginning of time, you will find that the human race was not designed to be monogamous.
??
Yes, I'm married to the man I love... and we are swingers.
We do not cheat, however... as cheating involves deception.
Swinging is not for everyone, and you should not force someone into the lifestyle if they are not comfortable with the idea.
I recommend the book "The Myth of Monogamy:Fidelity and Infidelity in Animals and People" by David P. Barash Ph.D. & Judith Eve Lipton M.D.
Monogamy is not a natural thing for most humans & we're in a constant struggle against our engrained natural urges. It's probably a good thing to contain these urges more often than giving in... but admitting they are there & looking at them straight on & realistically will aid you in coming to terms with your & other people's desires/fantasies which have nothing to do with the love you feel for your partner.
Love is also trust and devotion and not taking a chance to spread disease.
So whatever way you choose.
You can be in love with more than one person.but you would find it best to be with someone who feels the same way about it as you do.
If you really, truly love this person you will be monogamous. Three good reasons:
1. Jealousy will tear your relationship apart.
2. If you are not monogamous, then SHE won't be monogamous. Wanna be a daddy to someone else's kid?
3. Diseases. If you truly love someone, you would not participate in activities that could cause them to contract a deadly disease. That is insensitive and stupid.
But you don't really love this person... at least, not as much as you love yourself. So it really doesn't matter.
As you state, some people feel sex is a big deal and others feel it in the same catagory as a good workout.
My feeling is as long as both people are honest with each other from the begining there should be no issues. If feelings begin to change on one direction or the other, it is the job of that partner to bring it to the others attention.
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