Clinically Depressed for 8 years. . .?
Answer:
I guess the first question is; How does he act around you? It took six weeks to learn this about him. On the other hand, if you learned it from a fight, that is a blemish to say the least. If it was your second one in six weeks, it doesn't sound like you two really get along all that well. I think it's possible he really does need someone in his life to give it meaning, and he kept this quiet out of fear (for obvious reasons). I don't think you two would make it long, for whatever reasons, so you may want to end this before it goes too far. Make sure to let him down very gently, if possible.
I've been clinically depressed for 23 years. On meds the entire time. No need for counseling. It's sometimes challenging, but worth it.
He is not a freak. You make it sound so bad. If you are so messed up but really think love is coming, ask if the two of you can talk to his doctor together. If he is on meds, great. If he does not need meds, great. If he should have meds but will not take them; run, run, run. Yes, this can run in the family. Do research and even see a shrink yourself and get the information you seek.
It all depends on how much you love each other, and to what lengths you are willing to go to help him maintain his emotional balance. I suffer from major depressive disorder, and the littlest thing can send me off into a hole for months. My father died 2 years back and I still haven't recovered, I think if I had the love and support I had needed from the start I would have never been diagnosed with this condition to begin with. You will constantly have to force him to enjoy life when he is down, meaning go out and do something he enjoys. If it is to difficult for you to live with his condition then I would definitely call it quits. Depression is a very hard condition to overcome and it is hard on others who have to cater to the needs of the depressed person. It is kind of like living with a recovering drug addict, but the condition never goes completely away. : (
Honey, if you're asking yourself this, you know the answer.
I'm depressed, but I'm also not a hormonal wack anymore (yes, a thyroid disease can do that).
Still, I have to fight this many days of my life, and I don't mean to drag my man through it, and thank god it's not as bad as his ex-wife, or even his daughter in winter, poor things.
He's been there, done that, and I'm not as bad as some...
So he loves me and I do my best.
I'm on no meds, though, etc...
The thing is, this is him. This is his life.
He can only get so much better, and there will be darker days.
Watch the movie, "As Good As It Gets", is my recommendation, or you may know it already.
EVERYBODY has some serious crap.
If my man were like me instead of the other way around, I'd take it over the guy who was too immature (so was I, then) to be a father when he was one AND was an abusive controlling ***, the guy who was ultra-dedicated (as is my man now) but was unfortunately the addict child of addicts and killed himself, or the guy who was so loving he had no respect for himself PLUS couldn't hold down a job OR carry an intelligent conversation.
This poor guy deserves to be happy, too. If you can't be happy with him, then let him go, though. Someone, somewhere, will be like me, through enough bad times to realize that geez, everybody's got their crap, and is this something I can handle?
ONLY if the answer is yes, compared to everything else you've seen, do I personally think you should stay.
And hey, if you leave him, you should explain to him, I think, I try to never say should, actually,
You might want to tell him, "Hey, listen, I'd let you down if I stayed with you. I wish you all of the best, because I'm just not able to do this."
And that's the truth, right? And it puts it on you as well as on him, so whatever he says, and however he hears it, and all that jazz, you did the best you could.
I've been clinically depressed on and off again for 20 years...it's something that he will likely have to deal with for the rest of his life. The good news is that it usually isn't constant...the bad news is that it has a high chance of recurring. He is not a bad person. He does have feelings, he can feel...in fact, he is a very sensitive individual. There's no reason he shouldn't have children. He can maintain a relationship, but at times it may be challenging for him and for you. If you really care about him, it's "worth" pursuing. Depression does not have to destroy his life, or your relationship. It does take education, treatment, and knowledge to combat it...if you want to be with him, educate yourself as much as possible on the subject. And talk to him about it. Good luck!
being clinically depressed doesn't effect his ability to father children, but may effect his interest in sex.
I think he has a better chance for a happy life if he found meds that worked for him, and didn't make him feel bad. the right meds are like , "suddenly, the world is in color, not black and white."
Whether he can maintain a relationship - no one can tell.
Read the Book Called Women Powers, Has some great Info on How to help your man you love. =)
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