Why do some people seem to always want to belittle other people?

my boss is especially bad about this , anytime anyone shows that they are confident in themselves he immediately finds someway to shut them down, like pointing out some flaw about them or making fun of whatever they are passionate about. I've worked for the guy for years and i swear he just gets worse, in his eyes everything i think is wrong, everything i want to do with my life whether it be for fun or for my betterment is something for him to smirk at and find flaws in and he takes every opportunity to make me look bad in front of other people , he will even flat out lie to make me look bad, he does it to everyone that works there but mostly me for some reason, what makes a person act this way and what could i do to fix it without just quitting my job, i would rather figure out how to get along with the guy then run from diversity. any suggestions would be appreciated.

okay sounds like a real doozy of a problem heres what you wanna do. one day when u come into work, and he does the usual belittling of you in front of your other co-workers, stab him in the neck.

cuz nothing says respect like a swift stab to the neck.
they just want to make themselves feel better. nothing more.
he's just "compensating". (ya' know ?)
Personally, I would not work for someone like that. It's sure not worth the torment. If you want to stay there and just deal. You just have to figure he has a low self esteem or is unhappy and takes it out on everyone else. Just let it roll off your shoulders. Working for a boss sucks!
i belittle people sumtimes
just cause i get a laugh out to it>>?<<lol
but i only do it to the people i kno
you have to come back with a quick reply that cuts like a knife..something that will belittle them back and hurt their feelings embarass them..it must be cruel but don't bow down to jerks like this...look in their eyes and give it to em!
It's a control issue. You can't "fix" him, but you can realize that it's really HIS problem. If he lies about everyone, it's doubtful that anyone believes what he says anymore. Just be open and honest and confront lies right away.
I know two people like this. I've just assumed it was due to the fact they feel so unsure about themselves that they have to belittle others to make themselves feel good. Yeah, that sounds cliche, but I'm not sure how else to describe it.

In order to get along, you just have to accept it. The reason I say this is because when it comes to those types of people - you really can't win - unless you just agree with them on everything. It sucks, I know.

And if that avatar is you, you're hot. Have a nice day.
He is massively insecure...simple. And chances are there is nothing you can to to make it any better since his insecurities will make him deny that he is insecure. He needs to want to change in order to do so.
he definitely lacks self-esteem. if you want to help him gain self-esteem you will want to find things about him that are praise worthy. this might help you get along better and help him treat you with more respect.
Its his own insecurities that are making him like this.. He puts you down because inside he feels that everyone is better than him, (I think) I would just shrug it off.. you aren't going to change him, or find a new job.
I find it very difficult to be around people like this. You can't fix them, you just have to accept it.

He is very insecure...so the only way he can feel good about himself is to make others look "bad". More times than not, others can see it so they don't take people like that seriously.

But just to make yourself feel a little better, bake him a pan of brownies with chocolatey x-lax as the main ingredient. Trip him on the way to the bathroom.
Face it, you have an asswhole for a boss, and he likes to know that he is the boss. By belittle everyone he can proves to him and only him that he is in charge. Perhaps at work is the only place he can feel in power. He thinks that by making others feel bad he looks good, when in fact he looks like an ***. Have you gone to human resources about him and his attitude and lies? If not, then you might want to. If the company has one, of course. Try standing up to him, and if that desn't work, then you need to look for another job. Don't let this guy control you...
Sounds like he see you as a threat because you are better than he is. Anyone who does something like this, does to make themself feel better because they battle their own inner demons that are called self-doubt. Personally, I'd tell him to go sh** in his hat and find a new career, but if that's not possible for you then you need to have a private chat with mr personality plus and tell him he needs some serious professionalism as part of his career training. And if that doesn't work, then there's always his boss to go...best of luck.
He lacks confidence in himself and running you down makes him feel superior. It sounds like he is jealous of you too. Can you have a talk with him and ask him to knock it off?
I don't know why people act that way - they must feel threatened by the person they are putting down. My previous supervisor was like that - it got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore - I was ready to give my notice when a position opened up and I was able to be promoted to it. I was one of the lucky ones - never have to see that supervisor again.. Hang in there, I wish I could tell you what to do. Maybe try to compliment him or be extra nice (even thou it will make you sick lol) see if that works...
he wants to mark his territory and be feared by all others, be the boss.
You shouldn't let him get to you, he probably has problems that make him feel bad about himself and he needs to feel higher than others. It's not something you should be hurt by, that'll just give him wrong satisfaction. Maybe you can try helping him discretely, maybe ask him why he talks to people that way.
I recently encountered a person just like this while staying with a friend. He was always being superficial about looks and how I had to lose weight, etc., etc. Just really 5th grade stuff and he's 60. So with your boss. I think if you've been there for years, the only way not to quit and make a stand, is to confront him in a very strong way. Ask him why he feels the need to be such a naysayer and critic and point out 3 things that you find to be annoying about him and 3 other things that aren't true, just to really get his attention. When he questions you about the last 3 say "well now you see how it feels". Of course it would be tough, but I think it'll get the point across to him and he'll have a greater respect in the end. just a though
People tend to belittle others to make themselves look better. No one is any better then the next person or worse. we are all equal in my eyes. but when you stomp on anothers toes or decieve someone, then they are belittling themselves in the long run.
They try to make them selves look good at the expense of others. but it only shines a reflection of the kind of person they truly are. most don't see that part.
you seem pretty intellegent to have written all that. what could you possibly be doing wrong to make yourself think he's always downing you?
They are insecure themselves and it makes them feel better, also it is a control thing as well, a way of power I guess.
This is really kind of a funny situation, although it's kind of tragic, too. I figure this guy is a very lonely guy with no self esteem. You are a saint to have stayed there. If it really starts to get to you, though, get away from him the first chance you get. You don't want to become like him. In the meantime, kill him with kindness, and see what happens.
He has a low self-esteem so he needs to put others down in order to feel good about himself.

It is going to be hard to change him. His world view is skewed and that's pretty fundamental. Your best bet without quitting is to give a large mental discount to what he says when he starts putting down others.

You should also get like minded people at your workplace to rally your inputs about him so that we can get your sanity back, not confrontative but informative about your boss perception of others.
It is a cheap and easy way to make themselves feel larger. Since this is an emotional action (vs a logical one) there is not much you can do to change it. The key is in how you handle it.

If you can see him doing this, chances are everyone else can too! Use this information and let it guide your behavior everytime he behaves badly.
Your boss is abusing his supervisory authority. People who have written in to say that the guy is insecure are right.

A job is like a marriage. If (when) there are problems in a marriage, you do what you have to do to fix it. Be tidier, quit drinking, be nicer, go to counseling or whatever.

Sometimes a marriage is so fundamentally hosed that there is nothing for it but to get out.

I'm a Christian, but I do not believe that God intends for us to lead miserable lives because of a mistake we made.

Anyway, jobs are like that too. Sometimes a job is so fundamentally hosed that there is nothing for it but to get out.

Don't say you can't. Yes you can. Misery is not the natural state for humans to live in.
Thanks for being so honest. I've been there. I think that it has mostly to do with your bosses insecurities that are deeply founded, and he never learned social skills. I don't think that your boss even realizes how juvenile he/she is being. You are above this ****. You could stay there and understand what a sad, pathetic person your boss is and keep your hand in the fire, or you can save your hand by saying,"Screw It!" I Love Your Courage!!
Well, we have a term for someone like this, it is called the SMALL MAN SYNDROME! I know this from experience as we have a friend who is like this. To deal with this, you just have to look at where it is coming from and then remember it is only for 8 hours and then you can go home and always leave the work at work. He is probably jealous of the life that you are leading and wants very much to have something that you have.
It is a way for him to keep his employees under constant control. He is probably planning on using you as a scape goat. What he doesn't understand is that it is also a good way to piss people off and reduce moral between workers. Stop doing a good job and tell others to do the same. Don't put any extra effort into anything you do, make sure to keep up with requirements nothing more. It is very important to document everything he says and does to you, including the date and the time and where you were positioned. If you work for a company that has a union Get everyone to sign a paper stating they have concerns with your boss because of his conduct. If you don't have a union this is bad advice. Moving to a different area is your best bet. I went through the same thing and nothing I did helped, because I failed to document these occurrences. You will never be able to get along with this guy, he has ulterior motives. There is a reason he is doing these things. You either fight or move on. I lost my job because I chose to fight after being treated like dirt for 5 years, its not worth it. Trust me.
heres how my counselor described it..imagine the person who always belittles people is carrying around a sack of potatoes, a sack of "shame potatoes" and eventually that load gets too heavy to carry so they have to lighten their load so they take out a shame potatoe at a time and throw them at someone else. Ultimately this lightens their load but makes you feel like crap.

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