Why can't my former best friend accept the fact that our friendship is over?

She's 32 and I'm 30. We met in high school. Our friendship has been on the rocks (makes you think we're in a relationship huh?) since the yr 2000. Let's just say we just can't seem to understand each other anymore on many things. For the past seven yrs I've been trying to "break up" with her but she can't seem to get it? I feel really heavy and drained inside everytime I hear from her either from email or even when I hear her voice on the phone. I don't respond to her emails. Four years ago, I tried to talk to her to make her understand that I want to get out of our friendship but she still didn't get it. I guess what freaked me out the most is that one time my mom (RIP) came to me in my dreams and told me that friend of mine loves me but wants to seek revenge. The woman is 32 yrs old for crying out loud and she's never been in relationship with anyone. That's another thing I can't understand ... the issues that she has since she was in elementary & the things she still cannot accept.

Answer:
Sounds like she was never really your best friend but merely a good friend at the time and now you no longer want the association. Best friends are usually friends for life unless there is something like a cheating with your love or something equally as serious. She obviously is still clinging on to what she values in you, mainly your friendship. You don't want to hurt her yet you are trying to ditch her and abandon her as the friend she once was. If you think that she is capable enough to withstand the truth then you should write her a sincere letter about your feelings, no holds barred. Tell her as it is in your mind and let her put the pieces together. After that you will have a clear conscience and you can block her emails and phone number and begin the disassociation process.

Seven years?
Time to set things straight. Be perfectly clear with her.
If she doesn't get it, file a restraining order. Change you e-mail address and phone number. If it gets bad enough, which I doubt, move.
It's over. She needs to move on.

did u tell her all of that - maybe u should
or ------ u could try changin ur email address changin ur phone nmbr and movin to another city

I'm probably being dense, and maybe its because I haven't experienced it myself, but I don't reallly see the problem. I have lots of really good friends who I hardly ever see because we live in different places or have different schedules.

In my book friends are different to partners because you *don't* have to spend all the time with them and you can catch up with them once in a blue moon and still have things in common.

Be polite and friendly but avoid all engagements with her. You never know - if you stop spending so much time together you might find you don't mind her so much. She's probably obsessing about it because she thinks it's one particular thing she's done wrong which she can put right, rather than it just being a case of 2 people growing apart. It really does sound like the 2 of you are in a relationship, which sounds pretty unhealthy to me. If she's just a friend, then treat her like a friend rather than a lover - which is what it sounds like you're both doing.

Having said that I don't know your situation at all and could be way off the mark. Just my immediate thoughts on it.

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Why can't my former best friend accept the fact that our friendship is over?

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