Why can't I relax?
Answer:
Happy Birthday!
The way that you are feeling is perfectly normal. You've had a lot of rough experiences and had to take on too many responsibilities too early and it will take time to process all this. Your mind needs to learn that it is now safe to relax, and that you are now in a safe environment. I had a similar experience when I was a teenager. The state *finally* stepped in after years of abuse. It was a really rough time, and it took a while to get over it.
I hope that you have some good supportive adults (I know, you are practically an adult now, but you know what I mean) in your life. It's important to have emotionally healthy people with lots of life experience, since due to your family situation, you may be unsure what is a healthy or unhealthy reaction to life's problems.
As part of the fallout from the child abuse court cases, did you receive counseling? You may be experiencing post traumatic stress disorder.
I'm not an expert, but from my experience it sounds like your main priorities will probably have to be:
1) Remove the unhealthy influences from your life (yes, you seem to be making a start on that by not talking to your mother)
2) Establish and maintain healthy relationships with stable people, both peers and mentors
3) Make sure that you will have access to mental health care, should you need it. most schools and companies have systems in place to make sure that their students/employees can get these sort of health services
3) Create goals for your life that you can work toward.
4) Try to list different things that relax you. Maybe taking a bath, listening to music, or exercising.
Other ways that you need to make sure that you are taking care of yourself:
Drink plenty of fluids, especially water.
Eat lots of fresh fruits and vegetables.
Exercise for at least 20 minutes a day
Smile at yourself in the mirror everyday.
These may seem silly, but they can really affect mood.
Good luck to you. I hope that you can stay safe and achieve everything you want for yourself. Believe me, life gets better and better! :)
You know it is Summer - can you go to a pool, or lake, or river?
Just take off by yourself....explore be you
dont do drugs cause htey are good and youll miss them when theyre gone but i think that everyone had lots of stress in different ways and we all have to deal differently, but in my poinion, yeah have people listen but youll always feel different cause youre life has been alot different then most
I AM SORRY YOU HAD SUCH A BAD RIDE IN LIFE. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THUR. TRUST ME. YOU HAVE LIVED ON EDGE SO MUCH OF YOUR LIFE WHEN THINGS ARE SETTLED AND QUITE YOU GET INTO THE HEIGHTENED ZONE, BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT NORMAL IS LET ALONE LIVE NORMAL. YOU WILL BE OKAY, TAKE DEEP BREATHS TAKE A WALK. FORGET YOUR MOM THIS IS YOU AND SHE CAN'T TOUCH YOU OR BOTHER YOU ANYMORE, YOU ARE YOUR OWN PERSON. SO PLEASE DON'T START ABUSING YOURSELF WITH DRUGS. OTHERS ABUSED YOU GROWING UP, SO WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO ABUSE YOURSELF? LOVE YOURSELF AND ENJOY LIFE, AND MAYBE A LITTLE COUNSELING. TAKE CARE
Hmmm, you can't really seem to relax probably because over your childhood/teenage years you got used to some disaster always happening to you when you weren't ready for it. So now you expect another disaster almost all the time, which makes you edgy and unable to relax (reinforcing circle here...)
Instead of drugs or alcohol, have you tried personal therapy and meditation? I don't mean with a professional, but rather do something nice, just for you. Maybe take a day at a spa, or go to a library (where no one can find you) and just read. Get away from your usual patterns. Go camping with a friend (preferably same gender).
Also, with meditation, the idea is to gradually eliminate distractions until you have just you in mind. This might get you to relax for a few minutes each day and find some peace in your life. I learned it from a Japanese sensei at a local martial arts school. I know there are books at your local library that can tell you about a good technique or three... try that?
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