What is the least interesting, most forgetable topic of conversation?
Answer:
Sit quietly in your favorite recliner with a teddy at your side and smoke a pipe with very very cheap tobacco. Whilst reading the latest edition of Watchtower tell him the wonderful life you found with the Jehovah's witnesses and ask him if hes a born again Christian and why not. Then tell him its gonna be a brutal winter and saving on your electrical bill by using a wood-firing stove for the past 12 years has brought you and the misses grace and a jolly warm house. Then ask him if he cares for a homemade Raccoon-Shepherd pie you got from your granny and sigh. God bless her soul.
that should take care of it.
talk about gardening
tell them you have had to have a colostomy and discuss how you change out your bag and dispose of its contents and the weird little noises it makes at odd times. have a bad of peanuts nearby that you are munching on and tell you know they are bad for you and they react very badly with your colostomy but you love them...then tell them since you are no longer using your intestines your are getting horrible polyps and hemorrhoids in your anal region. you will clear the room in no time and i can guarantee they will not only find it boring but scary and you will never hear from them again.
Any conversation that is all . . . I this and I that . . . totally centered around the speaker and if you try to introduce a topic then they just ignore you in order to tell you what they had for lunch yesterday. (Or what the keys do! I like that!)
Also, people that when you ask "How are you?" actually tell you in infinitesimal detail about their maladies. Not cancer or anything big, just the itchy rash in their armpit from using the wrong deodorant and arthritis in their hands and their athlete's foot fungus that just won't go away although they tried 15 different things and nothing worked and even the doctor said . . .
Well, you get my point, I can see your eyes glazing over.
Live well and do good.
How to grow harvest and store saffron. Why it's so good in food, and ask me if I care..
Why collecting pennies is important for future generations
(throw in some shortage of copper statistics)
Ever had an accident or an operation? Talk about that . That's a real discomfort to hear about/...
and if aLL else fails...
REACH FOR THE PHOTO ALBUMS! (Guaranteed!)
I suppose a discussion on the relative merits of soft, mild Italian cheeses bit cause a bit of a stir, or a comparative discussion of the nomenclature of bird songs would never fail to thrill. Perhaps stamp collecting.
Explain to them the suddle diferences in dust bunnies, you know each one is like a snow-flake, that's the way Jesus made them.
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