Why do we give others the power to make us feel bad?
Answer:
Because sometimes I think the bad stuff is easier to believe (even if it isn't true) and we dwell on it. It's hard not to feel bad when someone takes unfair jabs at us. We just have to focus on the good qualities we have to squeeze out the bad, untrue things we've been told.
The best thing you can do is ask yourself, "Would I let this person know who the 'real me' is by spending time with him/her?" Chances are, your answer would be "No!" If that's the case, they obviously don't know enough about you to make a fair judgment and they are definitely not worth your time.
Spend your time with people who bring out the best qualities in you and make you feel good. If the jerk(s) are people close to you, time to make new friends!
Good luck. :)
You answered your own question. Only you have the power to change your own feelings. You let someone control you. STOP IT! It may hurt and your heart may bleed but life goes on.
Just shrug it off, and thik about the things you like about yourself.
If you know that you are right and confident about that then no one can say you any thing bad
it is somewhere within you that thinks bad about you ..when another individual sees that .he only gives words to that thing .
Just ignore them it just shows how little they are and by ignoring them it make you a better person.
Others will see how low they are and be on your side and thats less friend for them.
I wish I knew. It's easy to see for others that they should shake it off - but a whole heck of a lot harder to actually do it when it's directed at you!
It's been my experience that the things that bother me are the ones I'm already insecure about within myself. If you told me that my fingernails were ugly, I really wouldn't care - and would wonder why you had nothing better to worry about. On the other hand, if you made a snide comment about a part of my body I didn't care for - that would sting.
I don't have an answer as to how to learn to ignore it. If you find one, let me know! For now I generally just admit it stung, call my best friend, and that seems to take the power away.
Depending on who is saying something - it's not always worth it to say anything back. If some yokel on the bus says something ignorant, not worth my time to respond. If someone I care about does - assuming they care about me as well - I try to just say "wow, that stung! Did I do something to get your panties/drawers in a wad today?"
If it's the person I get naked with (yes, I'm old enough by quite a bit), odds are good I'll burst into tears and hide in the bathroom for awhile. Probably a really bad way to handle it - but I figured you'd appreciate the honesty.
Hey
these people who comment it is because of the lenience you give or in other words your kindness to which they take it as granted. Better when you make up with a person just dont let him/her cross her limits.
The limits depends on his/her attitude how the person behaves with you and to what extent you like him or her.
this is not an answer but only the words of a man who loves a woman who has the same problem. she is my wife and i love her with all my mind and my heart but the thoughts in her mind about what people say and may think about her really hurt her and make her feel that she is no good the world makes her feel that she is ugly and fat but to me she is so so beautiful but because she feels that the people around her think that she is all these things it makes it hard for me to show her that she is the most beautiful woman i know in body and in mind and because of the way the world or people have treated her and how they have looked at her before makes her feel that any time someone looks at her in that same way she gets so sad and when she is sad i hurt so so much i hurt do you know how it feels to love someone so much that when she is sad it messes up your whole day or week when some one is hurting and it makes you hurt and what is even worse is knowing that nothing that you do will ever help but still you keep trying and trying and will never give up because of the love you feel for them. why do we have to be so hateful why do we have to look at one person and say you are ugly, fat or stupid. we sit here in the world and think of only our self and not others but if the world hurts the ones we love wife husband son daughter father or mother we stand up and defend them but when we look at others we don't see them as any of them but only people who don't matter but if we see them as that then we are no better than the person who did the things to the ones that we love for we have made people feel the same way that we don't like to feel we push people away from us we call them names and tell them that they are nothing because of stupid things that don't matter because we don't like something about them we have set up this standard of men and woman what you should look like how you should talk even to what skin color you should have but we don't care if they have feelings or thought we don't give a dam that they feel like we do when someone else does it to us and some of us have walls or defences against it but not all people can make them walls all i can say to you is this and i know it may not help but it is all i have to say to you the people who make you feel this way are truly the ugly people the stupid people people who don't know what they are talking about they only want to look good at what he is doing to others they have the same problems as you but they feel that if they pick on you or say things to you that others find funny that they will be liked and accepted and that is stupid and uncaring i am so sorry that you have to go through this for i understand it from both sides as one who has been done that way and one who sees others who have been done that way and sadly also one who has done it to others and i feel so bad that i was like that to others and i don't know if this will help even though i did not do these things to you i will say it to you because i have done it to others i am sorry to you and to my wife and i just want you to know one thing just like a any fool in the world don't listen to them because a fool don't know nothing you are a beautiful person a caring person and just because that is who you are you are more beautiful than any one who may be liked for there beauty of skin by the world or anything else for in your beauty is love caring and understanding you have been there and you can help others who feel the way that you do but just like you they will be hard to show the love like the love i feel for my wife and again i am sorry for how people have treated you and how i have treated others in my life because i felt like you do and wanted to be accepted by the in group but now i understand that the in group is the out group for they don't know what love is and are afraid to feel it because of the possibility of the pain
a weak person is bound to give power to others to make him feel bad.
improve ur self confidence & u will never feel bad.
hi!!
it is said that assertiveness is the most crucial part of a good human being. it is also said that expressing one's feelings is not a bad thing,but, in fact it helps to take out frustration out of your life and thus makes your life less complicated. therefore, whenver somebody says something mean to you, tell him/her that you felt bad. this will let the other person understand that you feel bad when somebody tells you something that you don't like. also learn to be more assertive in life. being assertive is not forcing yourself on others, it is rather taking a proper stand and sticking to it. contact me on my mail if you need some help.
bye
avinash
until ur inner soul says anything u jus dont care as strangers pass by but d dogs keep barking.
Because you are powerless. You have never bothered to see that you are bestowed with lot of power since birth. Same power that makes Sunitas, Sanias, Sachins. You are living a rented life that probably your parents, your friends, your religious gurus have given you for your living. If you like to analyse, please understand first 'what is power?'. What does possession of power means to you? You observe it without any thoughts, choices, ideas, stories, images, pictures. You will get your answer with attension. Do not concentrate to arrive at a answer...just let your inner self understand it by itself.
It's not a matter of others, but how you feel within yourself...
I had a friend who said, "I'm invincible" ...at first we didn't understand it ...but it was very true of him...because in his mind no one could win over him...as he said "even if someone hit you, you have a choice -to feel hurt and not to ...if you decide that it's not a matter for you, then the person who hit you will be ashamed"
Or you read Ayn Raand's "Fountain Head".Its hero Howard Roark will be a good model for you.
YES AND THE ANSWER I S FIGHT BACK I GUARANTEE YOU ,YOU WILL FEEL BETTER
have a drink you'll feel better
oh and make it strong
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