Why am I having these thoughts?
The worry seems to centre on my relationship with my girlfriend. I keep panicking at the thought that I might not be in love with her. The problem is, ouir relationship was great up until the Sunday before last. And I mean great. We have a great laugh, and we get immense pleasure from seeing each
other happy no matter how simple the pleasure.
Then, on Monday, I woke up and went to work feeling fine. Then, the thought
popped into my head (though I have no idea why). I worked myself into such a panic about it, that I started having panic attacks. These continued for two days. Although they have stopped, I am still constantly anxious.
The problem is, I can't stop having these thoughts. I love my girlfriend, I sincerely do. She's my girlfriend and my best friend. I can't imagime life witho
Answer:
you worry too much. anxiety is worrying about something you do not know. and yes, you don't what's bothering you. the only one that can help you is yourself. how about we replace your "worry" into "concern". let me give you some piece of rhyme, it might help you,
"the tendency to brood and fret,
never solved any problem yet,
worry is a rocking chair,
that never takes you anywhere"
repeat the rhyme every time you feel anxious. ^_^
because
Hey Taffy, lots going on in your life is there not? try and deal with one thing at a time, yeah? You sound an intelligent, caring person so just let your intellectual abilities sort things out for you. Panic attacks are no laughing matter, I have had the distinct displeasure of living through them also. I am no expert but I believe if you keep the lines of communication open things will work out. Love and strength to you Taffy.
why are you worrying about your feelings to your girlfriend?if you really love your girlfriend stop worrying maybe your girlfriend doesn't love you thats why you worried you much.if you both falling in to each other stop worrying.your wasting your time and hours for worrying for nothing! spend your time and hour for your wonderful and memorable moment with your girlfriend
Some questions pop into my head: What is your age? Is this your first long term serious relationship? Have you been in other relationships? You also are worried that YOU'RE not in love. If you feel the relationship is slowing up or something would that make you feel bad? Would that make you feel like you failed in some way? Can you accept failure in your life? Everybody fails on things at some point that's alright; it's whether or not you can deal with it that's important.
The doctor put you on medications but not anti-depressants.? What are they for? Are you having an allergic reaction that might be intensifying "the thought".Alcohol usually intensifies pills.
You bleeped over Sunday. Did something happen? Or better still do you feel that "the weather changed " between you two at some point? When you woke up on Monday you could've been having a bad day (woke up on the wrong side of the bed) and to snap out of it you thought of what would make you happy-her(,,,or she I'm not the best at grammar). But it didn't work this time and now you find yourself doing what you always do which is concentrate on the issue until it goes away also known as obsessing over it. That would be difficult to fix in a FunQA.com.
Finally buying a house and all sounds like you are scared sh**less over the future. New house- then kids-mundane job? Will that job be your future? Do you feel trapped? Are you terrified of change? Because obviously these are "life changing" moments. Of course life changing moments arrive quite unexpectedly at times whether you're prepared or not. You can't control those times and can't worry about the unknown. But the control loss is interesting...you're worried that You don't love her; that you aren't in control of yourself, in theory, and if you can't be in control of your life then how do you expect to be in control of your future? Answer change your focus. Control is a slippery slope. Quit obsessing over things that you have no control over. You, seriously have to look at each moment and enjoy every moment for what it is. This will help you to understand that life happens without your control and that if you and she don't have a future together that is okay ( eventually one of you will die, then what?). Life is a test. But don't worry there's no right or wrong answers so you can't fail. Hope this over long letter helps a bit.
I think your problem is you are so worried you are going o loose her. I used to have dreams that my girlfriend was cheating on/breaking up with me and it was tearing me up and I began to get paranoid. But, it turned out that I was just worrying way to much about the fate of our relationship. I think that is what is going on with you too. It is perfectly normal for their to be a small amount of that but, you have to control it. Because to much of it can cause a compleat malfunction in your relationship.
I think in order to stop these things is to either talk to her about the thoughts and maybe she can give you some reenforcement. Or, get yourself in the mindset that she loves you just as much as you love her. Tell yourself that nothing will ever tear you guys apart. I mean you are buying a house together so obviously she loves a whole lot. But, above all you need to relize that she does indeed love you and that you love her a lot and you guys will be together forever. Then the feelings will go away and you will trust her like never before and your relationship will be great again.
Hope everything turns out okay for you guys and I hope I helped.
First of all i'm very sorry to hear that, panic and anxiety in itself is bad enough w/o the physical (not to mention mental) effects of having an anxiety attack.
It sounds to me like you don't want to lose her, and maybe if you look at it closely you're not so worried about not loving her- but her *thinking* that you don't? or, maybe, on some unconcious level you feel like you're not doing enough for her/your relationship? I understand it truly sucks if things slow down a bit and you just feel like it's too slow...but that doesn't have to be a setback, it's more time you get to spend with her and expand on your relationship && who knows- maybe you'll end up getting married and being glad that you spent a lot of time dating first, and even going through something like this that CAN make your relationship stronger.
have you mentioned anything to her about it?
not the afraid you don't love her part.but just how much you love the relationship, that you've been stressing lately, etc. maybe she would have something to say that would be a lot more of a comfort than any of us here could provide for you?
well,
that's just my 2 cents.
good luck w/ everything
Hi! I’m sorry to hear about your panic attacks. You've a lot on your plate and your anxieties have become centred on irrational thoughts concerning your girlfriend. This displacement anxiety is extremely common.
I would really, really advise a course of Cognitive Behavioural therapy. CBT is proven to be the most effective thing for panic attacks and general anxiety. It takes a bit of work, but if you put the effort in it’s super effective.
You can speak to your doctor about doing a course, or you can take a course for free online at: http://www.livinglifetothefull.com/elear... (A ‘prettier’ version of this type of programme can be bought at www.thewellnessshop.co.uk). If you don’t like computers, the best book is Dr Robert Burns, The Feeling Good Handbook which teaches CBT (it’ll also tell you breathing techniques). It is brilliant and used by many psychologists.
All I can say is CBT changed my life. I put in a lot of ‘work’, but my panic attacks have been eliminated. I also did relaxation exercise tapes (progressive muscular relaxation) 2 or 3 times every day for a year - something I would also recommend you start doing asap.
Also please remember that if you control your breathing, you control panic. If you manage to regulate your breathing it is impossible to get a panic attack. Breathe in slowly through your nose pushing your tummy out (to the count of 5 or so). Breathe out slowly and for a bit longer (to the count of 7 or so) through your mouth. Do not breathe rapidly or shallowly (in the chest area). This will soon restore the balance of oxygen and you will feel a lot better. (Books and psychologists can explain it a lot better than me!)
Remember that you always have the power to stop your panic attack!
Your anxiety will more than likely vanish naturally anyway. However, I think it’s always useful to learn CBT and relaxation techniques so that you can nip anxiety in the bud whenever it occurs in your life.
Good luck! I hope you start feeling better really soon.
What happened in your childhood...I mean, did a parent leave you? did you come from divorced parents? were you afraid of being left with a babysitter? what makes you be so clingy? Are you afraid of being left alone in life? Can you not depend on yourself alone? Can you not make yourself your best friend. You know, when we get into relationships we must be stable and self-fulfilled ourselves and only then should we reach out for a relationship and both people bring their successful relationships to join together. You sound like you're leaning because you're fearful of failing. Ask your shrink how you can get around that. You don't want a woman to be an enabler, and, you might smother her with your neediness. You aren't ready for a house, and, you're overstressed. You can't have a house until you have all the education you need and a super good income so that you can afford that house. So clear up this leaning and get your own life in order, get your education, get your good job, and only then do the right thing and pull this relationship into a marriage and start a family and then move into a house..
sometimes when you find some sort of happiness, yet aren't completely happy in the rest of your life, then the frustration and anxiety becomes projected on the one thing you can count on. My advice would be to start looking for another job that would be more interesting and financially rewarding and work from there. The reason most relationships fail is because of money issues. Being broke can rain on anyone's parade.
Hi,
There is this guide by anxiety expert Joe Barry , he has taught thousands of people to be panic free without any medication using a revolutionary new technique, http://panicaway.deals-guide.com... , its really a great guide , it should help you get rid of panic attacks forever in a few days Hope this helps you and wish you the best of health
oh , i'm going to say an evil-scarey thing to you... prepare yourself.
Maybe You are going thru some weird guy-phase ,that guys might do ,before they think about " Popping The Question" .
You sure do sound like you love her and that You are Good for each Other.
There, I said it.
Are you Okay? :D
~Laurie
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