I have a deeply rooted fear of rejection but there is more to it. Read on.?
Answer:
Your fears can lead to self fulfilling prophecy. Rejection is only rejection when you concede to being rebuffed. If you are attracted to someone, try being friends. Many people would never treat a friend as poorly as they treat lovers, therefore friendship is preferable- it will last longer, maybe a life time, and you will rest assured that your friend will never hurt you.
'The Game' by Neil Strauss. You don't need to become a pickup artist, just read the book and see if it speaks to you about your life and situation.
It's the whiny thing. Girls like men. Self confident, The moment that you decide to be yourself, walk with your chin up, realize that you are fine by yourself, you'll be fine and this is not some damn self esteem thing, Women like confident men, not jerks, but strength of character.
Everyone has a fear of rejection. Really, you are no different except that you are allowing it to paralyze you.
What's the worst thing that will happen? Could you look at it as a learning experience? You learn the best lessons from mistakes sometimes. It's practice meets theory.
You are missing out on a lot of experiences. Life is short. Get out there and don't worry so much about it. You will survive. Just remember that everyone fears rejection. It is normal. Take it as an opportunity to learn. Don't try to control everything. Learn to go with the flow a bit more.
fear of rejection? you cant say before you try,give it one,it is not the end of the world
Why do you carry this fear? You've just finished high school; I take it. Was it hard for you socially growing up? It sure was for me. However, I picked up the pieces beginning in college where I was finally where I knew no one. My social skills are a lot better than 20 years ago. However, there are things that I wish that I could do in social situations.
Wow at least they actually showed interest in you. Most guys with this fear are invisible. Which ironically only makes it worse(murphy's law). If I were you and a girl showed interest I certainly wouldn't think about how I "compared" to her past guys, the only thing that I would be concerned with is how not to let my insecurities show and scare her off. Girls don't like to hear that you are human and have feelings, that's too depressing, they want Joe Gorilla who doesn't care what anyone thinks and can do whatever he wants and can give em a good time and never had a problem one. That's why most guys are so good at hiding their problems. The world is full of ironies.
First of all you need to encourage yourself. Remind yourself of all your great qualities. I'm not saying go around spouting off affirmations all day but maybe repeat them to yourself before drifting off to sleep every night. If your fear of rejection came from being abandoned as a child by a parent, remember their leaving had nothing to do with you. If that doesn't help, seek professional help. Psychologists have great tools to empower you to take control of your fears.
Awwwww. ><
practice, practice, practice.....everyone gets rejected, that's life....but practicing, that's the fun part for us all
You say that you have many good qualities, however those "qualities" are questioned by yourself because of how you feel others view you. Unfortunelty and/or Fortunetly, a persons peceptions of another, directly reflects what we think out own weeknesses are...
In order to be able to "fear rejection" to the full extent,is to be completely and totally rejected by everyone and accepted simultaniously ...And seeing as to how the chances of that happening are nonexistant, you are unable to experience both extremes and without both, you have nothing at all to fear except the thought that you would have cause the love of you life to fade away from you because you are trying to hold on with all you might for no apparent reason, resulting in suffocation...
Like yourself completely. Both mentally and physically, love you flaws and like you strengths... Only then can others even remotely like the you that they see.... :)
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