I have so many regrets in life. I used to be so stupid!?
My childhood sucked yet my mom tried to make it fun. I didn't appreciate her help. I wasn't nice to her.
How can I get over this guilt and regret and use it for good? Please don't judge me for what I did, I already know I was bad. Thank you,
Answer:
You don't mention if you practice a certain faith, but most major religions are based on a doctrine of forgiveness.
If you do not actively practice a faith, think of all the people who are greatly successful, but made mistakes in their past. (Read this to mean just about everyone.) Maybe not all of us made the same mistakes you made, but we have all made them. The ones who try to present to you that they are perfect have usually made the worst mistakes of all.
I have learned from my mistakes, and I am a better person for navigating through them. I am not a perfect person, but really who needs that pressure anyway? I am more understanding, more compassionate, I can see good in people that many people don't see, I am more patient, and I am much more relaxed.
The main person you hurt with all the things you did was yourself..you are the person that you need to make amends to. As to the way you treated your Mom, make amends now if you can, and if she has passed on, be secure in the knowledge that parents love their kids regardless of what their kids give them back. Your Mom knew you loved her, and would not want you to spend time feeling guilty about acting like a normal teenage girl. (I know this because I have three daughters - trust me, your Mom wants you to be happy).
do what you use to do and you will feel normal again
Just accept its the past and that you CANT change it. Also speak to other younger girls about being respectful and not dirty skanks. Thats my opinion hope it helps.
"don't have regrets because at one point you thought it was what you wanted"
Its time to move on. You can't change the past but if your mom is still around the only thing you can do is tell her how much you really appriciate all she tried to do. Nothing can change what you have done or who you have been we all have to live with our past the only thing to do is to move on.
Everybody has their day, you just had more than the usual dose of "****-day" syndrome. You need to accept that its past now and theres really nothing you could have done then with everytihng you knew and the knoledge you obtained at that time. Your smarter now and you will probably live a better, more succesful life. A few more years and you will feel better don't worry about it.
It not too late to freshen up your life. You need to forgive and forget about your past. Stand up and become a better person and a forgive yourself from what you did in the past. If you don't forgive and forget of yourself how do you expect other to forgive and forget.
my life is exactly the same and yes i had a bad rep... the only way to let go of the regret is do everything in your power to be a great person now. that was you then... this is you now. you arent the same person so dont worry about it. you should be happy with yourself for making the choice to change. just be who u are nw and be happy. s far as the mom thing goes just treat her as if nothing ever happened. i had a horrible mom but i forgave her and were close now.. good luck!
Forgive yourself. What's done is done, and all you can do is learn from it and be a better person. If you're religious, ask God for forgiveness. If you have, then you've done all you can do and now all that's left is to do is move forward. Perhaps you can use your mistakes to teach other young girls what not to do.
Sometimes something happens, you can't help it. We are human, and humans are strange. They have all those competitive minds. And please just ignor the bad part of your life. I trust that you have the power to do that. Mend your scar with doing something that you want to do. Send Mother's Day cards every year with flowers and some warm, sweet sentences. Have fun with your children, don't let them think that their childhood sucked. Throw/go to parties and make new friends to enjoy your life with. There is always something good to forget your old life. Be a new you, be reborn.
Everyone has done some stupid ****!! And you certainly couldn't have done anything worse than the stuff I did, the thing is you have to be able to see past that. You were immature, it sounds as though you've grown up now, so from here on in build yourself a positive, good and useful future. You can't dwell on the past if you want to move away from it!!
Time to move on, the past hurts but dont let it ruin your present. Become a better person, and turn your back on that old person that you use to be. Tell your folks that you are sorry one time and then move on, dont dwell on the past. Live not, and make your life better than your past.
Feeling remorse for your past mistakes shows you are a person that has grown and learned from your former self. We all regret and feel shame as we get older looking back at our younger selves thinking we knew more than those around us that had lived longer and actually did know more. Think of it this way ..would you like to just go on living in this selfish manner not knowing better or realizing the mistakes and having better relationships with your loved ones. If your Mom is still around you can tell her how you feel and that you appreciate all she did as you grew up and didn't know then. Apologizing to those you hurt will also allow you to let go of some of those feelings if you do it with a sincere heart. Your life now should reflect what you now know to be better for you and those around you. Forgiveness comes with loving yourself as you are now and living a life that reflects those things you respect and value.
all you can really do is appologize and accept it. a way to use it for good is to share your experiiences with others to help them. personally if i have a problem, it makes me feel better to know that someone i know has been there and done that
First of all dont worry. Most 20yr olds are like that. At least you did eventually grow up. Some people dont there are some 48 yr olds who still act like they are 20. I dont know if you believe in god or not. But he forgives so go ahead and forgive yourself. Some things that may help---volunteer somewhere that you can help people. volunteers dont get paid but it really isnt completely selfless because the people you help is a reward in itself. It may help you to feel better and maybe meet some awesome new people. If you are still feeling down maybe make an appt and talk to a counsler. sometimes talking about it can make things seem better.
Good Luck
You can't change the past
Weren't we all at one time or another. I hope you have made your peace with your mom. We've got to claim our mistakes, as you have here, and move on. Confess the things you feel guilty about to the Lord and ask Him for forgiveness, ask for strength and ask Him to lead you through the rest of your life. Leave the past in the past, forgive yourself and hold your head up high and make the best of the rest of your life. Live for today. You can't undo the past. Best wishes. Get rid of the negative thoughts.
you kno what you need to let go and i can understand that it is gonna be hard for you. but your never gonna move forward if you keep thinking about those things. i also have had a "checkerd" past. i got myself involed in the church and was babtised and confirmed and so on and that made me feel better. i have let go of alot of the things i have done and i feel a lot better. please stop beating yourself up you can't change the past.
I know exactly how you feel and I think that alot of people can probably relate to what you are saying to a certain extent. As painful as it is to remember how you used to be one thing is for sure - there is not anything that you can do today to change it. it is done, now what you can do TODAY ( or tomorrow, depending on what time it is in your part of the world :-) is be the kind of person that you know you can be and should have been. make a difference in the lives of people that are here now. And if any of the people from your past will let you - do something nice for them too. You still have alot of time left in this crazy world. Make the best of it!
I'd say from what you've written here that you have acknowledged what you no longer view as appropriate behavior. It's OK to move on. The past is the past, and nothing is to be gained by guilt. If you are living a better life now that's what you want to dwell on. Nobody has a perfect past, and we all can improve.
Good for you!
first of all, you are blaming your self for everything. in a way, that is over-rating your importance. i mean you feel guilt because you were mean to your mom. well i'm sure she is over that and holds no grudges against you. i bet grand ma still loves you too. in other words, let go of that silly guilt.
there is nothing like telling someone, "i am sorry.", and then living up that appology. it may take time, BUT if you live an honorable life, the ghosts that haunt you will go away...
you say your childhood sucked. well there is a reason you say that. so i'm betting some of your behavior was based on your perceptions. in other words we all make mistakes. the ones you mention in your question know that they made some mistakes too.
make ammends, start walking the walk, and over time, you will be just fine! AND above all except others appologies. try and realize your guilt is all in your head, BUT not all your fault. quit over-rating your own significance in things YOU feel bad about.GL with it!
No one will judge u cuz no one has the right to.I think u can find a religion and pray.Or u can do what i do, go into a deep trans and wah away the emotions and events.OR u can try giving to others and help ur communitee, and even join groups to help you through this. the past is the past, theres nothing we can do to change it. We can only hope for a better future, so try helping others, maybe some that are in ur position.
I feel your stress. We all have regrets in our lifetime because that's all a part of suffering. No one lives a perfect life. We all suffer, but there are some people who have it worse than others. That's why there are people that say "hell is already on earth." And personally, I believe it. People always make bad decisions during their lifetime, and there's really nothing you can do about it. All you can do is try to start fresh again. You can't control what you did in the past, but your decisions can make or break you as to what happens in the future. Make a commitment to yourself that you'll change your lifestyle. I know of many people who lived a horrible lifestyle in the past, but they made the actual decision to turn the rest of their life around. Its okay to make mistakes, but if you really have the drive to change your life, you will. What I would do to start this is to start to get more involved with God. Start going to church once every week and really start to get involved with the community. If you don't go to a church currently, you may not like the idea, but if you really try to take it seriously and stick to it, it will eventually shape you to become a faithful person when you get older. Shut the iron doors to the past and live in daytight compartments. Pretend that the past never happened to you, but still observe and learn from the mistakes you made in it. Time heals wounds. You can learn from the mistakes you made in the past and make a pact to yourself to live a better lifestyle. The past is over; you can't go back in time. You should just pretend that the past never happened and worry about the decisions you will make for the future. Although I wasn't offended by anything you did, I forgive you. I hope all of this information helps. I wish you the best of luck. Your remorse for what you did already shows that you are on your way.
Regards,
Andrew Sulak
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