How do I stop doing this?

Okay, long story short. So, two years ago, I had a friend who could have been much more than a friend. Sadly, there was a misunderstanding that resulted in very hurt feelings and he stopped being friends with me. It's been an emotional rollercoaster because of what happened.

So every night since then, I lay in bed, before being able to go to bed, and write a mental letter to him. Telling him how I'm sorry, how I miss him, how I just messed things up, etc... I'd like to stop this and I'd like to stop thinking about him. You would think because I'm in college and have so much work to do, it might occupy my thoughts at night, but no.

I tried reading and watching movies to make myself so exhausted so I could just fall asleep, but it's like I have to write this letter in my head. I tried writing in a journal, but I can never think of what to write for some reason. The most I can write is: I hate you and I miss you.

I'm exhausted with this, but my mind isn't.

Answer:
sounds a little over board... it also sounds like you may be in love with him...you need closure call him and vent this out...seems like you need to get this out of your life 7 mind its unhealthy
Learn to let go.
So write him a letter.A REAL one.
there is 3 billion men
write the guy

or write someone else

you cannot lose -it is a loaded game
you are outnumbered with people to love and gush over
and write special letters to

go for it
Get out of bed - write the letter, on regular paper, not in a journal - don't send it, just put it on a shelf and go to sleep. You are fixating on this two year old incident because it's easy to do - and it keeps you from worrying about all the other things college students have to worry about.

Read the letter in a few days or a week. Re-write it if you need to - wait on it a few more days - make sure you are saying just what you want and then send it. Put the problem out to the universe and let it take care of itself. Get rid of the issue and don't expect to hear from him, just be satisfied that you have done what you could to rectify the situation.

Good luck!
What you should do is write an actual, not a mental, letter. Really go to town and put down everything that you feel but make sure it is a logical narration.In other words if somebody else read the letter it would make sense to them and not just be a rambling screed. After you finish then put it in a sealed envelope and hide it away somewhere. Don´t use actual names just in case it gets into the wrong hands.
Tonight when you go to bed start out your letter and write it to me. My name is Kayla and i know and understand how much you love him. But most importantly you know how much you would like to stop this habit. Maybe you should try and contact him to finally get over him. Enjoy the disappointment if it comes, for that you may now move on and live as you wish!
invest in a tape recorder.
when your wrighting your daily mental note while laying in bed speak out loud.
then wright it!
it might help...
also as hard as it sounds every time you notice you thinking about him start to say some positive stuff in your life mention your goals what is your life mission for you as an individual. not as family or partner you personally most people confuse that yes i want a family but don't i personally want to do something with the gift of life. what can i give back?
just the hard part is noticing and accepting to change the topic on your own!
but if your goals don't strive you enough consider revising them. some say goals change every year for med term goals others say 5 years.
some have seasonal goals and stuff!
any way consider some self soul searching
www.coping.org
It actually sounds like it's your way of coping with the situation. During the whole conflict, you probably had some things to say or things that you should have said but didnt. Your mental letter to him is how you're dealign with the reality and can feel more relieved;; getting your feelings out.
My advice is that you reach him out and actually talk to him.all those things you say in your mental letter tell them to him face to face. Remember that before this was a problem and a big conflict, it was a friendship...and you shouldnt let it die just like that. When you get rid of those feelings and whatever you're holding inside, then you'll stop doing that.
Good luck!!

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