Why could my wife not tell me her needs or feelings as she left me?
for her coworker? Married for 15 years and she started to act like she did back in highschool. Why could she not express that she was not happy and just bailed out. She did the same thing about 12 years ago witha coworker and I was able to bring her back after about a week. Stupid me I married her and had 2 kids which are my life. What is wrong with a person that cannot express feelings? She has an amazing personality and everybody adores her. We are now divorced but trying to learn from this.
Answer:
You seem open to learning, so can I give you a woman's perspective on this? Most women experience the most emotional fulfillment while they are dating a man. He is attentive and affectionate and verbally expressive. This is what women want and need from men. However, most of the time after marriage, men abandon these things in pursuit of their careers or hobbies or whatever. After all, they've "bagged" the woman, so what is the point in courting her anymore?
As a result, women are left extremely confounded, disappointed and eventually depressed. Even if they try to express their feelings and needs, men will accommodate them for about a week before resorting to their old ways. I can't emphasize enough, women need to feel cherished and cared for. But I will also say, women hate to beg! It is demeaning to constantly have to ask for something men are perfectly capable of giving when they want something, whether it is sex or marriage. Men claim ignorance about the needs of women, but their dating posture belies this. Men know exactly what women need while they are dating them. It doesn't make sense that they don't have a clue after they are married. Many married women live in an emotional desert. Many of them won't cheat but will continue to suffer in loneliness.
Another thing: You say, what is wrong with a person that cannot express feelings? You make this whole thing her problem. I think she was wrong to cheat on you. That's for certain. But you ask what you can learn from this, and I'm telling you what you should know.
I don't know what is wrong with her, but I'm sorry this is happening to you.
Maybe she doesn't understand herself, sometimes you do things because you want to do but you just can't explain why.
Or maybe she doesn't want to talk about it because it's to painful...
Try to get on with your life. You gave her enough chances.
Even after 15 years, it seems as though she didn't trust you enough to tell you about her needs. I don't think it's your fault whatsoever, and that she needs to learn how to get in touch with her feelings and to be able to talk to someone about it.
A person who can't express feelings probably had something in the past to make them feel this way. Most likely because they weren't close to someone when they were young, but there's the possibilities of other factors.
More Questions and Answers:
Can you tell who am I?
I am looking for aschool i can attend with night classes on socil work for abused children?
Does experimenting with drugs leads to addiction?
Is it true that the movement of the planets rule our lives?
Does this have a name?
Psychology is wrong?
Did this girl lose trust in me?
Is It Me Or Are People Less To Call Someone Ugly These Days As Oppose To Years Ago?
Are peoples desire for picturesque homes, lawns, and self beauty part of a wish to have sunny days every day?
What is your opinion??
Answer:
You seem open to learning, so can I give you a woman's perspective on this? Most women experience the most emotional fulfillment while they are dating a man. He is attentive and affectionate and verbally expressive. This is what women want and need from men. However, most of the time after marriage, men abandon these things in pursuit of their careers or hobbies or whatever. After all, they've "bagged" the woman, so what is the point in courting her anymore?
As a result, women are left extremely confounded, disappointed and eventually depressed. Even if they try to express their feelings and needs, men will accommodate them for about a week before resorting to their old ways. I can't emphasize enough, women need to feel cherished and cared for. But I will also say, women hate to beg! It is demeaning to constantly have to ask for something men are perfectly capable of giving when they want something, whether it is sex or marriage. Men claim ignorance about the needs of women, but their dating posture belies this. Men know exactly what women need while they are dating them. It doesn't make sense that they don't have a clue after they are married. Many married women live in an emotional desert. Many of them won't cheat but will continue to suffer in loneliness.
Another thing: You say, what is wrong with a person that cannot express feelings? You make this whole thing her problem. I think she was wrong to cheat on you. That's for certain. But you ask what you can learn from this, and I'm telling you what you should know.
I don't know what is wrong with her, but I'm sorry this is happening to you.
Maybe she doesn't understand herself, sometimes you do things because you want to do but you just can't explain why.
Or maybe she doesn't want to talk about it because it's to painful...
Try to get on with your life. You gave her enough chances.
Even after 15 years, it seems as though she didn't trust you enough to tell you about her needs. I don't think it's your fault whatsoever, and that she needs to learn how to get in touch with her feelings and to be able to talk to someone about it.
A person who can't express feelings probably had something in the past to make them feel this way. Most likely because they weren't close to someone when they were young, but there's the possibilities of other factors.
The answers post by the user, for information only, FunQA.com does not guarantee the right.
More Questions and Answers: