What are the effects (both positive and negative) of sugar-coating truths for children?
Examples - Santa Claus, tooth fairy, the stork delivering babies, never arguing/cursing/discussing [money] problems around them.
basically doing whatever possible (mostly, lying) to keep them 'protected' and 'safe' in their ideal lives, as not to 'corrupt' them.
Answer:
Personally I think it's a good idea to desensitize your kids to most things at a young age - except some stuff like: Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy etc... The truth is that there are more negative effects than positive effects when it comes to sugar coating truths - right now I can't think of any really good effects of doing it. You have to remember that the more you lie about the truth the more of a shock it will come to your kids when you explain what's a lie and what's not, the more you do this the less your kids will trust you.
I remember when I was a kid and I heard from someone at school that Santa wasn't real, my mum explained it to me afterwards, and I kept asking her what was a lie and what wasn’t.
Remember that you're setting up your children in a fairytale reality and the more you reinforce that the harder it will be for them to face reality.
I think the positive is that you can delay certain conversations until they are older and more mature. This will help them better understand the subject.
I think the negative is that kids don't learn to lose. They think they should always win or get a medal just for participating. There are winners and losers in everything - games, job interviews, etc. Its part of life. But it's how you deal with it that determines your success.
Sweet surprises are just those things that are surprising - you never know what to expect. Some children react to sweeners more than others. Hyper-activity is a result of sweetners, orange juices and additives in food stuffs.
If hyper-activity is not apparent then a balance is well found - though, sugar levels might be effected here. Children love to receive sweet stuffs..the more the merrier..the merrier meaning hyperactive.
Counter-balancing the sweetners is by consulting the doc for dietary options. More greens, vitamins, irons, fibres, protiens are all necessary for a good life. Fish oils are supposed to be a very good counter balance device and should be taken daily.
Children mimic their parents and older humans so you basically teach them that its OK to lie.
As for never arguing/cursing/discussing money problems in front of them, that's a little different. You're not lying, you're just not exposing them to negative things at an early impressionable age that could damage them emotionally. You shouldn't teach them that life never presents problems though. Just expose them to ones that should actually concern them at their age.
jj
I think there are two different extremes. Santa and the tooth fairy never hurt anyone in my opinion.
As far as arguing/cursing discussing money there are ages where things are appropriate. I do not want my kids to curse, so I do not curse in front of them.
My husband and I do not argue in a screaming way. We try to discuss things and always take into consideration the kids are around. It is important kids hear you disagree and learn how to fight fairly. We never name call or say mean hurtful things. The kids learn it's okay to disagree and treat people with respect.
As far as money goes my kids have always known the truth...in the early year we were broke, now we aren't. They learned how to budget, look for sales, and save for a rainy day.
The truth is always the best when you are talking about life lessons...you just have to gear the experience to their age.
My opinion only...
Postive: Kids grow up more optimistic and happy.
Negative: They'll never trust their parents again and be ignorrant to the real world.
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