Perfectionist and hating it?
I am a huge perfectionist. When I'm given a school project, my mind wanders off with huge expectations that I really can never meet. When I start working on projects, I get so consumed with the actual goal that I get sick of the work involved to get there. As I work towards that goal, I grow frustrated if something isn't exactly how I envisioned it, and I tend to want to give up. I really do hate being a perfectionist and being so selective about things. It makes me always feel inadequate and unable to reach my goals. I strive to be constantly better, but at times, it drives me crazy. It also can make me horribly jealous when someone else tends to do better than me.
Does anyone have any advice?
Answer:
They say perfectionists often start things but never finish them because the quality of work doesn't match the vision. They also say that often perfectionists can be mistaken as procrastinators or be drivelled with ADHD because they go off task and reevaluate the "vision"... often forfeiting any projects at all that may lead to accomplishment or goals.
I am with you my friend, I am a perfectionist as well. And regardless of how many people tell you to see a psychologist and get help it is not that simple.
Let me save you a lot of time and money and just say this from one perfectionist to another.
We can't always match what is in our heads as perfect, the vision does skew a bit from what we think is perfect. And sometimes when a project isn't exactly how we thought it would be or should be, when we finish it up and present it anyway, others still are impressed.
Here's how I work on my perfectionist issues.
1. DONT strive to be better... keep it at an acceptable "average" level. When it gets above average... be impressed with yourself. You don't always have to shoot for the stars, but you can shoot at a level you know is manageable and do fantastic at that!
2. When you feel yourself giving up on "that" because it's not "perfect" keep working on it, something will present itself that re-connects you to it in the first place - maybe differently, maybe better.
3. Accept that you are only as good as you are and that's good enough for you. And if everbody else criticizes who and how you are doing then they live in a dream world of assholes who apparently aren't individual or unique... because it's mistakes and differences in and "overall outcome" that makes the world go round.
4. Somebody didn't do better than you. They did differently. And the people who are judging, approving, or making the final decision on the quality of the project don't have the same tastes as you do. Again, personal opinion and it makes us human.
keep trying. dont throw away anything. always finish what you start. accept it regardless because it is your creation.
caio!
lol...wow see a therapist plx, you got some issues. :/
..Perfection is an illusion. If you could define it, which you can't, you wouldn''t be able to achieve it. It's not practical to set such a goal. You end up expending 90% of your effort to get that last 10% of quality. Meanwhile, you haven't delivered and someone else has.
According to what you say, you seem to have learned that it doesn't pay to be a perfectionist. It just gets in the way of your ultimate success. Here's a concept for you...instead of seeking perfection, make a serious commitment to achieving "awfully damned good." The smart money is to just get it out there.
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Answer:
They say perfectionists often start things but never finish them because the quality of work doesn't match the vision. They also say that often perfectionists can be mistaken as procrastinators or be drivelled with ADHD because they go off task and reevaluate the "vision"... often forfeiting any projects at all that may lead to accomplishment or goals.
I am with you my friend, I am a perfectionist as well. And regardless of how many people tell you to see a psychologist and get help it is not that simple.
Let me save you a lot of time and money and just say this from one perfectionist to another.
We can't always match what is in our heads as perfect, the vision does skew a bit from what we think is perfect. And sometimes when a project isn't exactly how we thought it would be or should be, when we finish it up and present it anyway, others still are impressed.
Here's how I work on my perfectionist issues.
1. DONT strive to be better... keep it at an acceptable "average" level. When it gets above average... be impressed with yourself. You don't always have to shoot for the stars, but you can shoot at a level you know is manageable and do fantastic at that!
2. When you feel yourself giving up on "that" because it's not "perfect" keep working on it, something will present itself that re-connects you to it in the first place - maybe differently, maybe better.
3. Accept that you are only as good as you are and that's good enough for you. And if everbody else criticizes who and how you are doing then they live in a dream world of assholes who apparently aren't individual or unique... because it's mistakes and differences in and "overall outcome" that makes the world go round.
4. Somebody didn't do better than you. They did differently. And the people who are judging, approving, or making the final decision on the quality of the project don't have the same tastes as you do. Again, personal opinion and it makes us human.
keep trying. dont throw away anything. always finish what you start. accept it regardless because it is your creation.
caio!
lol...wow see a therapist plx, you got some issues. :/
..Perfection is an illusion. If you could define it, which you can't, you wouldn''t be able to achieve it. It's not practical to set such a goal. You end up expending 90% of your effort to get that last 10% of quality. Meanwhile, you haven't delivered and someone else has.
According to what you say, you seem to have learned that it doesn't pay to be a perfectionist. It just gets in the way of your ultimate success. Here's a concept for you...instead of seeking perfection, make a serious commitment to achieving "awfully damned good." The smart money is to just get it out there.
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