Why don't i like hugging older men, my mom, family, and girls? can u trace this back for me?10 POINTS!
like...if i have a boyfriend, i ♥ hugging him=S
i don't mind hugging older females usually either...like older female teachers=S
i don't even really like hugging little kids that much=S
just guys my age or in their twenties...
actually, i'm usually attracted to guys around 5 years older than me and what not(i'm 17 now)...
my mom is a stressed, hard working single mom and my dad doesn't pay child support since he works illegally...my mom tends to make friends with guys with problems and she tells me about the problems and has me hang out with the guys and her.=S
i hardly ever saw my dad, but he kept dead animals in his freezer(ex. racoons etc.), my family is crazy for the most part...and i hardly know them(except my mom).
i used to be made fun of as a child for being ugly.(6-8th grade)
now i'm cute=]
i always have a different best friend.
THANK YOU!
Answer:
It is understandable because of you enviroment and upbringing. I am not saying you are brought up badly but rather you are without a father figure in the house. Your mom is so busy doing all in the interest of the family.So no time for cuddling.
So that is how you are brought up. Your love from out side the house will be treasured in one way since you cant get from within. That is how your behaviour show. Its normal for a child from single parent. You are mature to ask.
I'd guess enviormental influence as in your parent talk of bad things of homosexuals or pedophile (pedophile is justly negative i guess by today's law) could also be influence television, news, and kids in school.
"whole body hugs", though very popular now in all situations (they came in during the 1970's and the sexual revolution) are still sexually suggestive. Before 1970 they were pretty much taboo, unless it was your grandparents, or people like that.
This is where you draw the line, and your boundaries---you have a right to do this, in your own way. You teach people how to treat you, and there is no reason to submit to a whole body hug, or a kiss, or anything yucky - offer your hand to shake.
hmmm... you dont like older men because you associate them with your dad (whom you do not have a relationship with therefore do not trust)
you dont like little kids because you lost trust in them when they teased you as a child.
you feel safe with twenty something men/older women cause you trust your mom and whomever she associates with.
you change best friends because you dont want them to hurt you so you ditch them before they get a chance and you get a new one.
sounds like you should try and work through your trust issues.
your feelings seem to be those of someone who has been abused by older people in some way and i don't necessarily mean sexually. your mom needs to treat you like the age you are and not as a close friend. you do not need to hear about her relationships with her men friends. you do not need to be forced into spending time with them.it sounds to me like you might possibly be suffering from post traumatic stress syndrome. that means that things from the past have come back to haunt you. such as the being made fun of, your dads behaviour, your moms behaviour. you definitely have a strange family background that is not at all normal. what i see for you in the future if you don't get help now is a very traumatized adult without the abilities to control her own life. i have some concerns about you for right now though. saying your family is crazy is an understatement. you need to seek help and seek it now. do you have a responsible adult you can talk too.such as a minister,a priest,a rabbi,ect. who might be able to help you? Good luck. my prayers are with you.
You probrably dont like hugging your family because you dont really know them and you probrably dont like hugging older men because you dont really know what older men are like since you dont really know your dad and you prolly dont like hugging lil kids because you think it feels wrong.dont worry its not an unusuall problem.
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