Why would someone change like this?
An ex pro sportman who had to stop playing sports because he had an accident and lost his athletic shape (but is not disabled)
The sportsman is kind of living in his glory days like wishing he could go back, very sweet but gets mad when ever his looks are being reminded. Doesnt go out much like he used to.
Why would someone be like this after an accident?
Answer:
His self identity is altered.
He based his life on what he was, and now that he is no longer the person he was in his mind, he has no new identity.
His life, self identity and ego were so wrapped up in being the "macho" sports man that he has no other way of seeing himself.
he is scarred.
1) he has erectile dysfunction
b) women dont talk to him any more
In my opinion, because he's experienced a "death" in his life. Like all of us, when a loss occurs we mourn. From what you explain, he's permanently lost his former identity as a pro sportsman. That identity probably engulfed most areas of his life and began in his early childhood. Now, he has find a new way to define himself... As he tries to do that, any reminders of his oldself, such as comments as to how he used to appear, throw him back into the whole loss/mourning/denial mode. I suggest that you help him focus on the future by pointing out different aspects of his personality and abilities that have nothing to do with the whole sports persona. Help him discover the parts of him that always existed (but were probably overshadowed by his sports career). By sincerely encouraging and pointing out his other strengths you're helping him develop a new identity. As time goes on, he'll be less defensive and obsessive about his oldself and more excited at the prospect of discovering his new one!
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The sportsman is kind of living in his glory days like wishing he could go back, very sweet but gets mad when ever his looks are being reminded. Doesnt go out much like he used to.
Why would someone be like this after an accident?
Answer:
His self identity is altered.
He based his life on what he was, and now that he is no longer the person he was in his mind, he has no new identity.
His life, self identity and ego were so wrapped up in being the "macho" sports man that he has no other way of seeing himself.
he is scarred.
1) he has erectile dysfunction
b) women dont talk to him any more
In my opinion, because he's experienced a "death" in his life. Like all of us, when a loss occurs we mourn. From what you explain, he's permanently lost his former identity as a pro sportsman. That identity probably engulfed most areas of his life and began in his early childhood. Now, he has find a new way to define himself... As he tries to do that, any reminders of his oldself, such as comments as to how he used to appear, throw him back into the whole loss/mourning/denial mode. I suggest that you help him focus on the future by pointing out different aspects of his personality and abilities that have nothing to do with the whole sports persona. Help him discover the parts of him that always existed (but were probably overshadowed by his sports career). By sincerely encouraging and pointing out his other strengths you're helping him develop a new identity. As time goes on, he'll be less defensive and obsessive about his oldself and more excited at the prospect of discovering his new one!
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