What is a good way to let out all my anger?
So, my summer break started as of today. I am really depressed because I'm changing schools, and I'm missing all of my friends. I am 13. This morning, my mom and I had a big argument; she thinks I'm selfish. I'm really angry. When I'm angry I feel like breaking things of like punching someone. I really don't want to do that. What is a good, yet effective way to let out all my anger, so I can relax and get things done today?
Answer:
I'll give you a trans-rational answer.
Sit down in a quiet place and find some peace by contemplating the unknowable.
If you choose, you can realize that you are in your room; but, also, the room is in your field of awareness.
You are in your house. The house is also in your awareness, or consciousness.
And, if you continue to extrapolate, you can feel the cosmos in you. In fact, you are the cosmos.
Then, if you can accept that bit of linguistic maneuvering, you can understand that the anger you feel is inconsequential as compared to the unbounded and endless fulfillment of all that is.
Punch a big pillow or cushion ... or yell into it. BTW you are 13 yo and if you are a "normal, healthy" 13yo ... You ARE selfish, demanding and the center of your own world. But you will grow out of it .. and Mom will survive tho she may not feel that she will right now.
play counter strike
or join a band and be the bands "throat"
I read in a magazine that when you're angry eat carrots because they are crunchy but what I usually do is lock my self in the bedroom and hit the bed with the pillow it feels good then sit and listen to calm music and RELAX then you can sleep if you want whenever I sleep I forget my anger
Get a speed bag and punch it when you feel frustrated.
It really does let out alot of tension.
Filter that anger to something else like a hobby for instance. Go lock yourself in your room and build model cars or go play a video game that you can wreck things on a game console.
take some kickboxing lessons- this is awesome for releasing tension
I have a greenhouse, garden and pets that help keep me calm. Don't get into the habit of punching things; that will only lead to violence down the road.
Take deep breaths and try to calm down and think about the problem without the problem controling you. Try to see the situation from your parents side. There may be issues they don't feel comfortable talking to you about.
Take it one step at a time.
My son used to take sticks and beat up on boxes, and chop weeds, and sometimes run until exhausted.
Some people use punching bags or pillows.
Others find a sport that works.
Finding a nonliving target-or drawing one to throw things at.
Writing down all your angry thoughts, you can destoy the paper later if you want, some people burn the paper later to let the anger go with the smoke.
Take deep slow breathes, in through the nose, out through the mouth, perhaps repeating a word like "peace" in your mind, and visualizing the anger floating away (works for lots of people)
Play a video game where you're supposed to let your character beat the crap out of things.
Stay in touch with your friends by phone, internet, and mail if possible. Maybe you can see them outside of school. I've been friends with someone since 6th grade, that's 31 years! and we were in different schools after that, and later in different cities, and we didn't have cell phones or computers, so I know you can keep old friends as your life changes, and you get new.
I think you being bored and depressed and cranky is very normal, and we all get selfish sometimes (if you were). You show a real maturity and not wanting to hurt other people, or be destructive with your anger, and being willing to ask for others advice on healthier ways to deal with it shows how intelligent and caring you are.
I hope your community, neighborhood, local churches etc have ways for you to be involved with others to meet new people and be busy this summer. If not I'm sure that one with your ability for thinking things through will be able to find some interest to develope over the summer. Summer goes by so fast, and chances are there is someone else at the new school feeling apprehensive, you're not alone there. My city had changed districts and forced me to go to a new school the year I met my friend. I was shy and shaking like a leaf when I forced myself to strike up a conversation with her. We didn't seem to have much in common at first, but we ended up best friends, sometimes it takes time.
Good luck I hope you have a great summer.
You need to narrow down the issues that are bothering you and deal with them. Communication is the key. You need to learn how to deal with frustration now and the techniques you use that work for you will be able to help you throughout your life.
Changing schools is difficult, we've all been there. Find out what things are exciting about your new school such as different clubs or classes. That will give you something to look forward to.
Surely you have a way to contact your friends and get together. If not, try to find something else that might interest you. There are probably things that you have found interesting but have not had the time to try. Try them now.
In the short run, try exercising to get out your anger. It will keep you in shape and it releases hormones that naturally make you feel better! Good Luck and ENJOY your time off!
Try this on for size:
1. Your changing schools... most people (and I am talking about adults here) HATE change!
2. You miss people who were important in your life... most people (and I am talking about adults here) go thru real depression when they lose friends!
3. You are 13 y/old and have real changes going on in your body (and most adults go thru changes in their body every 7 years, but not as extreme as a 13 y/old until they reach the age of what most teenagers think of as death, oh say 30 years old but is really not death at all and is near 60 y/old).
Sorry to tell you this, BUT your mom needs to get a grip on life! From what I can see and all my years as a conflict specialist you have loads of reasons to be depressed! Show this to mom if you can and let her know you are a real live person! Mom needs to get a little psychological help to deal with you growing up.
I can guarentee your mom had the same extreme feelings of anger about things when she was your age. Maybe not about the same topics as above, but yes, the same feelings of needing to let go of all that pent up energy.
Finding someone to help the two of you to communicate without hate, violence and feelings of being smothered is very important. It is easy and can even be done on the internet for free. Let me know if you need assistance!
As for the anger:
1. Acknowledge it exists and it is ok to feel that way!!
2. Understand as you get older, you will feel that way many times!
3. Nothing beats yelling. I mean nothing. Unfortunately in our society it is not permissable to yell whenever you NEED to, so finding an alternative is the best source. Accept that it needs to be a physical answer. You need to find some outlet that will let you get the anger out in a physical way. It is a biological thing, not psychological. The other answers you received are good. If you are experiencing a lot of feelings a lot of the time which are like the want to punch someone type, try getting alone and breaking something like a dish. Of course you have to clean it up and replace it but it will relieve the pressure.
Maybe your mom can acknowledge your need, make sure you get to the 99 cent store to get some of those dishes and provide you with a secure environment to do it. BUT...
here is the big trick. It is ok to release that energy as long as it is in private. We all do it, but not all the time and always it should be in privacy away from general public.
Final piece of advise: Allow yourself to grow. What I mean is while you use this outlet remember the desire to release that anger energy will not be going away for many more years and that you should use the years to find alternate ways to express your anger, such as thru creative writing, sports, etc.
Again, if you want to converse about this, please feel free to e-mail me and don't become one of those adults who cannot express themselves without yelling.
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Answer:
I'll give you a trans-rational answer.
Sit down in a quiet place and find some peace by contemplating the unknowable.
If you choose, you can realize that you are in your room; but, also, the room is in your field of awareness.
You are in your house. The house is also in your awareness, or consciousness.
And, if you continue to extrapolate, you can feel the cosmos in you. In fact, you are the cosmos.
Then, if you can accept that bit of linguistic maneuvering, you can understand that the anger you feel is inconsequential as compared to the unbounded and endless fulfillment of all that is.
Punch a big pillow or cushion ... or yell into it. BTW you are 13 yo and if you are a "normal, healthy" 13yo ... You ARE selfish, demanding and the center of your own world. But you will grow out of it .. and Mom will survive tho she may not feel that she will right now.
play counter strike
or join a band and be the bands "throat"
I read in a magazine that when you're angry eat carrots because they are crunchy but what I usually do is lock my self in the bedroom and hit the bed with the pillow it feels good then sit and listen to calm music and RELAX then you can sleep if you want whenever I sleep I forget my anger
Get a speed bag and punch it when you feel frustrated.
It really does let out alot of tension.
Filter that anger to something else like a hobby for instance. Go lock yourself in your room and build model cars or go play a video game that you can wreck things on a game console.
take some kickboxing lessons- this is awesome for releasing tension
I have a greenhouse, garden and pets that help keep me calm. Don't get into the habit of punching things; that will only lead to violence down the road.
Take deep breaths and try to calm down and think about the problem without the problem controling you. Try to see the situation from your parents side. There may be issues they don't feel comfortable talking to you about.
Take it one step at a time.
My son used to take sticks and beat up on boxes, and chop weeds, and sometimes run until exhausted.
Some people use punching bags or pillows.
Others find a sport that works.
Finding a nonliving target-or drawing one to throw things at.
Writing down all your angry thoughts, you can destoy the paper later if you want, some people burn the paper later to let the anger go with the smoke.
Take deep slow breathes, in through the nose, out through the mouth, perhaps repeating a word like "peace" in your mind, and visualizing the anger floating away (works for lots of people)
Play a video game where you're supposed to let your character beat the crap out of things.
Stay in touch with your friends by phone, internet, and mail if possible. Maybe you can see them outside of school. I've been friends with someone since 6th grade, that's 31 years! and we were in different schools after that, and later in different cities, and we didn't have cell phones or computers, so I know you can keep old friends as your life changes, and you get new.
I think you being bored and depressed and cranky is very normal, and we all get selfish sometimes (if you were). You show a real maturity and not wanting to hurt other people, or be destructive with your anger, and being willing to ask for others advice on healthier ways to deal with it shows how intelligent and caring you are.
I hope your community, neighborhood, local churches etc have ways for you to be involved with others to meet new people and be busy this summer. If not I'm sure that one with your ability for thinking things through will be able to find some interest to develope over the summer. Summer goes by so fast, and chances are there is someone else at the new school feeling apprehensive, you're not alone there. My city had changed districts and forced me to go to a new school the year I met my friend. I was shy and shaking like a leaf when I forced myself to strike up a conversation with her. We didn't seem to have much in common at first, but we ended up best friends, sometimes it takes time.
Good luck I hope you have a great summer.
You need to narrow down the issues that are bothering you and deal with them. Communication is the key. You need to learn how to deal with frustration now and the techniques you use that work for you will be able to help you throughout your life.
Changing schools is difficult, we've all been there. Find out what things are exciting about your new school such as different clubs or classes. That will give you something to look forward to.
Surely you have a way to contact your friends and get together. If not, try to find something else that might interest you. There are probably things that you have found interesting but have not had the time to try. Try them now.
In the short run, try exercising to get out your anger. It will keep you in shape and it releases hormones that naturally make you feel better! Good Luck and ENJOY your time off!
Try this on for size:
1. Your changing schools... most people (and I am talking about adults here) HATE change!
2. You miss people who were important in your life... most people (and I am talking about adults here) go thru real depression when they lose friends!
3. You are 13 y/old and have real changes going on in your body (and most adults go thru changes in their body every 7 years, but not as extreme as a 13 y/old until they reach the age of what most teenagers think of as death, oh say 30 years old but is really not death at all and is near 60 y/old).
Sorry to tell you this, BUT your mom needs to get a grip on life! From what I can see and all my years as a conflict specialist you have loads of reasons to be depressed! Show this to mom if you can and let her know you are a real live person! Mom needs to get a little psychological help to deal with you growing up.
I can guarentee your mom had the same extreme feelings of anger about things when she was your age. Maybe not about the same topics as above, but yes, the same feelings of needing to let go of all that pent up energy.
Finding someone to help the two of you to communicate without hate, violence and feelings of being smothered is very important. It is easy and can even be done on the internet for free. Let me know if you need assistance!
As for the anger:
1. Acknowledge it exists and it is ok to feel that way!!
2. Understand as you get older, you will feel that way many times!
3. Nothing beats yelling. I mean nothing. Unfortunately in our society it is not permissable to yell whenever you NEED to, so finding an alternative is the best source. Accept that it needs to be a physical answer. You need to find some outlet that will let you get the anger out in a physical way. It is a biological thing, not psychological. The other answers you received are good. If you are experiencing a lot of feelings a lot of the time which are like the want to punch someone type, try getting alone and breaking something like a dish. Of course you have to clean it up and replace it but it will relieve the pressure.
Maybe your mom can acknowledge your need, make sure you get to the 99 cent store to get some of those dishes and provide you with a secure environment to do it. BUT...
here is the big trick. It is ok to release that energy as long as it is in private. We all do it, but not all the time and always it should be in privacy away from general public.
Final piece of advise: Allow yourself to grow. What I mean is while you use this outlet remember the desire to release that anger energy will not be going away for many more years and that you should use the years to find alternate ways to express your anger, such as thru creative writing, sports, etc.
Again, if you want to converse about this, please feel free to e-mail me and don't become one of those adults who cannot express themselves without yelling.
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