Do you thing its hard?
to keep a marriage going i have been married 20yrs with three kids and my oldest is 17 i have always been a house wife but i have had jobs in between just lost my mum through death etc basically my life has been poo for me inside just keep it together for everyone else but am tired really tired
Answer:
you poor love my condolences on your mum,im not married yet but live with my partner and our two kids and it is hard to a relationship going through the rough times,i sounds like you havent had time to grieve for your mum coz youve looked after everyone else which wont be doing you any good,no one will think less of you if you let it all out.good luck huni i hope things start looking up for you.xx
That's life. it's hard for everybody, weather you are married, single, man or woman. We all go through bad times, and we all have good times.
Chin up eh?
=)
I'm sorry about your mom hun, and yea I know its hard being a house wife and keeping the family sane.
Oh and by the way your family DOES appreciate you, even if they don't show it. How do I know, I am a daughter and my mom has been doing something very similar for me and my older siblings for about 32 years. We love her, we are thankful, but we're also idiots and don't show it often enough.
So sorry to hear of your mother. Open up to your family. You have always been there for them and now its their time to be there for you. They may be able to make things a little easier for you but they need to know how you feel.
Yes I would think that it is hard, I think it is time for you to have a life. Tell your husband what you need, if you continue as you are you are going to alienate him. Even start hating him.
Good luck
I would sit down and explain to your husband how you feel. in marraige, as in any loving relationship, things are based upon mutual communication, honesty, and understanding.
The times I have seen relationships fall apart is when there is no mutual respect, understanding or communication.
nobody can ever say marriage is easy. you need to work at it, things naturally start to go stale after a while. sit down with your partner and talk. tell them your thoughts and listen to theirs .it is when the communication ends the problems begin. anybody that as been married for along time are not only marriage partners but most importantly best friends, i can tell my partner/ best friend anything.
yes it is hard, very hard, ok, i am a man, but i was in a marriage for 18 years and it was me keeping it all together, i was constantly unhappy and constantly depressed, i had to make a choice, my happiness or my marriage, i chose my happiness and left, my 2 sons from that marriage are both very settled and happy, my ex-wife has found it very difficult to manage on her own, she, sadly was my burden. you do reach a stage whereby you can't just 'keep it together' for everyone else, you must start being a little selfish and start thinking of your own happiness, either with your husband or without, life is short and it is not a rehearsal, it is the real thing so make the most of it. sorry if all of this sounds harsh, but sadly it is all true. good luck.
you are feeling down after the death of your mum and maybe you feel that your family just take you for granted
i think what you need to do is take some time for yourself even go on Holiday on your own or with a friend and give yourself some space then when you come back you will feel happier sometimes we all need a little me time
Mid life crisis , you've done what you set out to do (raise a family) and now your questioning whether you have sacrificed your life for no reward .
Now is the time to reward yourself , there is no reason why you can't start being selfish .
Enjoy your new found freedom and your family will enjoy it with you .
The problem is , your life's become a habit so rip up the routine and do as you please for a while .
Go to McDonald's for breakfast if you feel like it , go to the hairdressers and ask for advise , tell your partner that from now on Sunday dinner will be eaten in a pub (cooked by someone else)
Exercise is guaranteed to help you beat this feeling so start taking walks or join a gym (you don't have to be an athlete)
Remember back to when you first met your husband , you are now in the same position with no ties or demands .
Find each other again , try visiting some old haunts from your early relationship (sneak behind the school bike shed and have a snog !)
You must learn to enjoy life again like you did when you were young and it'll all turn out fine .
PS your husband and kids love you they just don't know how you feel .
bereavement counselling might help because being left with the feeling of whats the point in it all is a common result of losing a parent.
Good luck ,what you feel is perfectly normal .
It's really difficult, I know! If something's making you unhappy you must try to change it! You've brought up your kids, looked after your late Mum. You say you've just lost your Mum, so sorry to hear that, sometimes when we lose a loved one especially when you've been very close you begin to look at your own life more closely, as your life has taken a dramatic change. I know how you feel, I've brought up four kids, the youngest being sixteen, and sometimes I feel so disillusioned with my life. Like you too, I've spend my time as a house wife (I do hate that title) rather than have a career or work full time. I get so frustrated sometimes, I feel like I'm invisible. Although I know my kids love me it's hard not to feel unappreciated and undervalued. You've been there for everyone maybe it's about time someone started sharing the load and supporting you. You probably have a bit of depression too after your loss, and this can make everything even worse (been bereaved myself in the last year). If you are feeling really depressed talk to your GP about it don't suffer in silence like I have! If you feel really unhappy with your lot, you should start thinking what you want out of your life and marriage, does your hubbie know how you feel? Try doing more for yourself, something outside the home that you'll enjoy or try and find a job you'd enjoy, to get you out the home environment and make you feel valued as a person rather than a Mum and Wife. It easy to say isn't it but harder to do, I should really be doing what I'm advising you myself. I had begun thinking about taking steps to change my life but out of the blue I became seriously ill this time last year, so I'm afraid that had to be put on hold for a while. Now I'm feeling my old self I'm beginning to feel bored and restless again just like you. My marriage is good but I feel unfulfilled as a person I suppose.
Do you and your hubbie do much together, maybe some time away together would give you the chance to really talk about this and your feelings. Trouble is some men just hear what they want to hear don't they? If you are desperately unhappy with your life then you have to do whatever you think best to rectify this and if this involves changes in you marriage, then you have to make that change, you've given you're all to your family and maybe it's time you put yourself first. Keeping telling your husband how you feel, sometimes they need a bit of a wake up call to make them really listen. I love my husband very much but I feel really frustrtated by our marriage sometimes, he just doesn't understand how I've felt, how can you really until you have been there yourself I suppose!
Sorry for rambling on for so long, It's just that I know exactly how you feel, you sometimes thnk it's only you that feels this way sometimes.
Life is too short to be unhappy and emotionally exhausted, I'm sure your Mum would like to think that you're happy and living life to the full. Whatever you want to do, go for it, we only get one chance. Best of luck I hope everything works out for you!
hey you're right.. it's really boring to do same work everyday.. my mum had same problem...she was making her housework also looking after us (children) and in evenings she was so tired that she couldn't stand up from armchair... on weekends she wanted to go somewhere have fun and relax but she couldn't. she was always thinking about us about dad .. dad is working and has nearly no time. my mum wasnt working and 2 weeks ago she started a job :) really cool one. she does her work in evening morning goes to work and in the afternoon mew my sister dad and mum - we are all together having fun somewhere..
my advise is just think about something very cool something you like and wish to have time to do... or about someone... about your children.. my mum is always thinking of us... we are her hope . and all she wants and all she does is for our future. she gives us all we need.
you must be afraid of some mistakes and some difficulties..
do everything to make your childrens life and future better... and after that they will look after you. they will always be thankfull for things that you have done for them...
i know it's hard but maybie you should start to take more care of yourself! talk to you kids about how you are feeling and get them to help you around the house, the occassional dish wash o vacume goes allong way. get a proper job, something to stimulate your mind, there are loads of them out there and your eldest is ole enough to take care of themselves leaving YOU for some pampering time, i.e a facial or even a cheepie face pack will do the trick, just take some time out for yourself...it sounds like you need it! :)
bee bee you need to start aring about you not everyone else
you have reached the bottom and need to be at peace
try therapy and meditate
and go on a spa holiday
no guilt no emotional baggage just you
you deserve it
enjoy
gosh i'm in a similar situation and i dunno what to do either.
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Answer:
you poor love my condolences on your mum,im not married yet but live with my partner and our two kids and it is hard to a relationship going through the rough times,i sounds like you havent had time to grieve for your mum coz youve looked after everyone else which wont be doing you any good,no one will think less of you if you let it all out.good luck huni i hope things start looking up for you.xx
That's life. it's hard for everybody, weather you are married, single, man or woman. We all go through bad times, and we all have good times.
Chin up eh?
=)
I'm sorry about your mom hun, and yea I know its hard being a house wife and keeping the family sane.
Oh and by the way your family DOES appreciate you, even if they don't show it. How do I know, I am a daughter and my mom has been doing something very similar for me and my older siblings for about 32 years. We love her, we are thankful, but we're also idiots and don't show it often enough.
So sorry to hear of your mother. Open up to your family. You have always been there for them and now its their time to be there for you. They may be able to make things a little easier for you but they need to know how you feel.
Yes I would think that it is hard, I think it is time for you to have a life. Tell your husband what you need, if you continue as you are you are going to alienate him. Even start hating him.
Good luck
I would sit down and explain to your husband how you feel. in marraige, as in any loving relationship, things are based upon mutual communication, honesty, and understanding.
The times I have seen relationships fall apart is when there is no mutual respect, understanding or communication.
nobody can ever say marriage is easy. you need to work at it, things naturally start to go stale after a while. sit down with your partner and talk. tell them your thoughts and listen to theirs .it is when the communication ends the problems begin. anybody that as been married for along time are not only marriage partners but most importantly best friends, i can tell my partner/ best friend anything.
yes it is hard, very hard, ok, i am a man, but i was in a marriage for 18 years and it was me keeping it all together, i was constantly unhappy and constantly depressed, i had to make a choice, my happiness or my marriage, i chose my happiness and left, my 2 sons from that marriage are both very settled and happy, my ex-wife has found it very difficult to manage on her own, she, sadly was my burden. you do reach a stage whereby you can't just 'keep it together' for everyone else, you must start being a little selfish and start thinking of your own happiness, either with your husband or without, life is short and it is not a rehearsal, it is the real thing so make the most of it. sorry if all of this sounds harsh, but sadly it is all true. good luck.
you are feeling down after the death of your mum and maybe you feel that your family just take you for granted
i think what you need to do is take some time for yourself even go on Holiday on your own or with a friend and give yourself some space then when you come back you will feel happier sometimes we all need a little me time
Mid life crisis , you've done what you set out to do (raise a family) and now your questioning whether you have sacrificed your life for no reward .
Now is the time to reward yourself , there is no reason why you can't start being selfish .
Enjoy your new found freedom and your family will enjoy it with you .
The problem is , your life's become a habit so rip up the routine and do as you please for a while .
Go to McDonald's for breakfast if you feel like it , go to the hairdressers and ask for advise , tell your partner that from now on Sunday dinner will be eaten in a pub (cooked by someone else)
Exercise is guaranteed to help you beat this feeling so start taking walks or join a gym (you don't have to be an athlete)
Remember back to when you first met your husband , you are now in the same position with no ties or demands .
Find each other again , try visiting some old haunts from your early relationship (sneak behind the school bike shed and have a snog !)
You must learn to enjoy life again like you did when you were young and it'll all turn out fine .
PS your husband and kids love you they just don't know how you feel .
bereavement counselling might help because being left with the feeling of whats the point in it all is a common result of losing a parent.
Good luck ,what you feel is perfectly normal .
It's really difficult, I know! If something's making you unhappy you must try to change it! You've brought up your kids, looked after your late Mum. You say you've just lost your Mum, so sorry to hear that, sometimes when we lose a loved one especially when you've been very close you begin to look at your own life more closely, as your life has taken a dramatic change. I know how you feel, I've brought up four kids, the youngest being sixteen, and sometimes I feel so disillusioned with my life. Like you too, I've spend my time as a house wife (I do hate that title) rather than have a career or work full time. I get so frustrated sometimes, I feel like I'm invisible. Although I know my kids love me it's hard not to feel unappreciated and undervalued. You've been there for everyone maybe it's about time someone started sharing the load and supporting you. You probably have a bit of depression too after your loss, and this can make everything even worse (been bereaved myself in the last year). If you are feeling really depressed talk to your GP about it don't suffer in silence like I have! If you feel really unhappy with your lot, you should start thinking what you want out of your life and marriage, does your hubbie know how you feel? Try doing more for yourself, something outside the home that you'll enjoy or try and find a job you'd enjoy, to get you out the home environment and make you feel valued as a person rather than a Mum and Wife. It easy to say isn't it but harder to do, I should really be doing what I'm advising you myself. I had begun thinking about taking steps to change my life but out of the blue I became seriously ill this time last year, so I'm afraid that had to be put on hold for a while. Now I'm feeling my old self I'm beginning to feel bored and restless again just like you. My marriage is good but I feel unfulfilled as a person I suppose.
Do you and your hubbie do much together, maybe some time away together would give you the chance to really talk about this and your feelings. Trouble is some men just hear what they want to hear don't they? If you are desperately unhappy with your life then you have to do whatever you think best to rectify this and if this involves changes in you marriage, then you have to make that change, you've given you're all to your family and maybe it's time you put yourself first. Keeping telling your husband how you feel, sometimes they need a bit of a wake up call to make them really listen. I love my husband very much but I feel really frustrtated by our marriage sometimes, he just doesn't understand how I've felt, how can you really until you have been there yourself I suppose!
Sorry for rambling on for so long, It's just that I know exactly how you feel, you sometimes thnk it's only you that feels this way sometimes.
Life is too short to be unhappy and emotionally exhausted, I'm sure your Mum would like to think that you're happy and living life to the full. Whatever you want to do, go for it, we only get one chance. Best of luck I hope everything works out for you!
hey you're right.. it's really boring to do same work everyday.. my mum had same problem...she was making her housework also looking after us (children) and in evenings she was so tired that she couldn't stand up from armchair... on weekends she wanted to go somewhere have fun and relax but she couldn't. she was always thinking about us about dad .. dad is working and has nearly no time. my mum wasnt working and 2 weeks ago she started a job :) really cool one. she does her work in evening morning goes to work and in the afternoon mew my sister dad and mum - we are all together having fun somewhere..
my advise is just think about something very cool something you like and wish to have time to do... or about someone... about your children.. my mum is always thinking of us... we are her hope . and all she wants and all she does is for our future. she gives us all we need.
you must be afraid of some mistakes and some difficulties..
do everything to make your childrens life and future better... and after that they will look after you. they will always be thankfull for things that you have done for them...
i know it's hard but maybie you should start to take more care of yourself! talk to you kids about how you are feeling and get them to help you around the house, the occassional dish wash o vacume goes allong way. get a proper job, something to stimulate your mind, there are loads of them out there and your eldest is ole enough to take care of themselves leaving YOU for some pampering time, i.e a facial or even a cheepie face pack will do the trick, just take some time out for yourself...it sounds like you need it! :)
bee bee you need to start aring about you not everyone else
you have reached the bottom and need to be at peace
try therapy and meditate
and go on a spa holiday
no guilt no emotional baggage just you
you deserve it
enjoy
gosh i'm in a similar situation and i dunno what to do either.
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