Why is my best friend so negative about me?
I've been best friends with her for nearly 10 years now.. and i've noticed she really picks on me and jokes around. But this really hurts my feelings.
Examples of her behaviour are...
Picking one my physical features... 'your so talll' 'flipper feet' 'your hair is too dark you look goth' 'your too thin, eat more"...
And I know i am not ugly..
Often she laughs when she says these things.
I know she loves me, and aslways puts the effort in to call me and arrange get aways together.
I just can't understand it..she certainly isnt a jelous person..and she really has nothing to be jelous of.
Why could she be doing this?
Answer:
It is all love from the sound of it, my best friend does the same to me and I as well know I'm attracted, but the relationship lasted this long so its got to be love, she treats you as she would a sister who she loves, the teasing, the making fun. Enjoy it and reverese it like I do!
maybe she isn't a friend. it looks to me that she is just picking on u.
IF she really does care about you and IF she isn't a jealous person, then it has probably become a habit. She probably doesn't even realize that it bothers you. You need to tell her in a non-threatening or nonconfrontational way. I'll bet she starts trying to do better. If you aren't able to do that, start crying the next time she does it. She will get the point.
Just lose the idiot we all have to get rid of people my mate changed once he became a famous DJ everyone thinks he is a dick . Friendship is like love it has to be two way
I am not sure I would like a best friend like this.
I would say she is insecure herself and maybe a touch envious of you. People are envious and jealous for all sorts of reasons. Maybe she doesnt realise the impact her comments are having on you.
Friends are meant to love and accept you as you are. You are meant to feel good about yourself when you are with each other - why else be friends.
Iknow it is hard but you need to tell her how you feel:
maybe it would be better for you to do it at the time of one of her comments: you could reply something like:
'i know you are not meaning to be nasty but when you just said that it hurts my feelings'
the more self respect you demonstrate (by not letting people treat you meanly) the more respect other people have for you.
It's just friendly banter. If you both are really good friends like you said, don't think to much about it. It sounds like she is jealous of something so maybe that is the problem.
Just ask her to stop and don't say it jokingly. You need to be firm and assertive.
Making fun of each other is just something friends do. I do it all the time as do my fiends to me. Don't worry too much.
She might not realize she's doing anything that hurts you. Honestly, tell her straight up. Just don't sound threatening or aggressive, since she may get offended. But do let her know you don't like those names and comments. She's your bestfriend, she'll understand.
She thinks that u 2 are on the level beyond formalities, sounds like shes trying to be endearing not insulting, since ur so close just tell her how the manner in which she says things is a little harsh, tell her that ur not insulted but it does bother u, I guarantee that she will make the necessary adjustments, after all u cant blame her if she is not aware it bothers u yet! Good Luck -Nay
Hi! she does not sound as a friend! just ignore her because all she wants to do is to bother you and make you feel bad... Yes, I think that she is jealous and that's the reason she is picking on you all the time... don't pay attention to people like her... she is not your friend... be aware... take care and good luck..
Does she treat some others this way or just you? Teasing may be her way of feeling close. Does she know how sensitive you are about it? I'd bet that she doesn't. It sounds as though she has a "Bette Midler" personality. Let it go, if you can, or join in and share the jokes with her. She doesn't perceive her comments as negative--you may be the wind beneath her wings. If you can't adjust, though, you'll have to tell her how you feel about her comments and hope that HER feelings aren't hurt.
thats how i am with my friends.
i guess its because i find it a type of humor?
i don't know if my friends take it seriously or not.
it's just a way i tell them i love them<3
often times people subconciously act out their inner esteem issues. There seems to be a part of her that is truely unhappy with herself and it helps her to cope by pointing out others faults. It doesn't mean that she isn't your friend or doesnt care for you. We often take out things on those who we love the most or spend alot of time with. I would let her know how you feel in a polite way and that it bothers you.
Is she joking when she says these things? If she is then she probably is just messing around with you and doesn't realize that it hurts you. If she isn't joking, then she really isn't your best friend. she's only using you to make herself feel better.
sounds like she's jealous of ye, anythin ye got she's not got ?
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Examples of her behaviour are...
Picking one my physical features... 'your so talll' 'flipper feet' 'your hair is too dark you look goth' 'your too thin, eat more"...
And I know i am not ugly..
Often she laughs when she says these things.
I know she loves me, and aslways puts the effort in to call me and arrange get aways together.
I just can't understand it..she certainly isnt a jelous person..and she really has nothing to be jelous of.
Why could she be doing this?
Answer:
It is all love from the sound of it, my best friend does the same to me and I as well know I'm attracted, but the relationship lasted this long so its got to be love, she treats you as she would a sister who she loves, the teasing, the making fun. Enjoy it and reverese it like I do!
maybe she isn't a friend. it looks to me that she is just picking on u.
IF she really does care about you and IF she isn't a jealous person, then it has probably become a habit. She probably doesn't even realize that it bothers you. You need to tell her in a non-threatening or nonconfrontational way. I'll bet she starts trying to do better. If you aren't able to do that, start crying the next time she does it. She will get the point.
Just lose the idiot we all have to get rid of people my mate changed once he became a famous DJ everyone thinks he is a dick . Friendship is like love it has to be two way
I am not sure I would like a best friend like this.
I would say she is insecure herself and maybe a touch envious of you. People are envious and jealous for all sorts of reasons. Maybe she doesnt realise the impact her comments are having on you.
Friends are meant to love and accept you as you are. You are meant to feel good about yourself when you are with each other - why else be friends.
Iknow it is hard but you need to tell her how you feel:
maybe it would be better for you to do it at the time of one of her comments: you could reply something like:
'i know you are not meaning to be nasty but when you just said that it hurts my feelings'
the more self respect you demonstrate (by not letting people treat you meanly) the more respect other people have for you.
It's just friendly banter. If you both are really good friends like you said, don't think to much about it. It sounds like she is jealous of something so maybe that is the problem.
Just ask her to stop and don't say it jokingly. You need to be firm and assertive.
Making fun of each other is just something friends do. I do it all the time as do my fiends to me. Don't worry too much.
She might not realize she's doing anything that hurts you. Honestly, tell her straight up. Just don't sound threatening or aggressive, since she may get offended. But do let her know you don't like those names and comments. She's your bestfriend, she'll understand.
She thinks that u 2 are on the level beyond formalities, sounds like shes trying to be endearing not insulting, since ur so close just tell her how the manner in which she says things is a little harsh, tell her that ur not insulted but it does bother u, I guarantee that she will make the necessary adjustments, after all u cant blame her if she is not aware it bothers u yet! Good Luck -Nay
Hi! she does not sound as a friend! just ignore her because all she wants to do is to bother you and make you feel bad... Yes, I think that she is jealous and that's the reason she is picking on you all the time... don't pay attention to people like her... she is not your friend... be aware... take care and good luck..
Does she treat some others this way or just you? Teasing may be her way of feeling close. Does she know how sensitive you are about it? I'd bet that she doesn't. It sounds as though she has a "Bette Midler" personality. Let it go, if you can, or join in and share the jokes with her. She doesn't perceive her comments as negative--you may be the wind beneath her wings. If you can't adjust, though, you'll have to tell her how you feel about her comments and hope that HER feelings aren't hurt.
thats how i am with my friends.
i guess its because i find it a type of humor?
i don't know if my friends take it seriously or not.
it's just a way i tell them i love them<3
often times people subconciously act out their inner esteem issues. There seems to be a part of her that is truely unhappy with herself and it helps her to cope by pointing out others faults. It doesn't mean that she isn't your friend or doesnt care for you. We often take out things on those who we love the most or spend alot of time with. I would let her know how you feel in a polite way and that it bothers you.
Is she joking when she says these things? If she is then she probably is just messing around with you and doesn't realize that it hurts you. If she isn't joking, then she really isn't your best friend. she's only using you to make herself feel better.
sounds like she's jealous of ye, anythin ye got she's not got ?
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