Why am i so afraid to speak up?
in large groups, i seem to be afraid to speak up.
and sometimes when people say stuff about me, i sorta just take it without saying anything.
i hate how i am acting like this. i should be standing up for myself. and i hate how many people have labeled me as quiet and i want to change. but it seems SO hard to grow out of a label-i seem to be staying quiet because people now perceive me as that way.
what can i do? i know this is rather vague, but anything will help me.
Answer:
it is beacuse you are not confident of what u gonna say to them...
or maybe your afraid of what other people might gonna say to ya of what you gonna say!!
well all you have to do is speak up and stand up and get away with your fears!
just try it once and the next will follow..
belive me you just have to be confident enough!!
GOOD LUCK!!
Either you lack self confidence or you are not ready to speak or combination of both.
It will take efforts to break out of the mould. But it is very much possible. I will advise you to read autobiographies of great personalities. You will be surprised to know many of them were introverts at some stage. You can start expressing your opinion in a small intimate group first- like family gatherings. Brace yourself for the ridicule but stand firm. I have seen it happening. Whenever the shiest of us starts giving his inputs he is laughed at like--see see who's talking etc. but with time they will start giving attention to what you have to say..that's just a beginning...good luck.
I had/ have the same problem too.
I make myself do it, because I am sick of that feeling after of why didn't I say something. It's hard at first but it gets better!
Simply said, get out more if you aren't already. Some physical aspects which can help are medium level exercise, lots of sunlight, and going out with friends. Watch TV shows so you can talk about them. Try to find friends who are interested in things you are interested in or things you would like to get interested in.
Stand up straight in front of a mirror, and talk to yourself in an upper class English accent. Have a whole conversation. Take a half an hour. Before long you'll find yourself cracking up. Make up conversation, and think of responses people will make to it. Learn a few jokes. Before you know it, you'll be chatting away.
Few more pointers:
- Don't take what people say. Say something which will make them regret it. Anyone with stuff being said about them, feel free to e-mail me at japadict@gmail.com and I'll talk it over with you and give you advice.
- Note about the above point: Don't say it in a shaky voice or it'll be used against you. Practice what you say in front of a mirror, imagining the person until you can say it loudly and confidently without a single tremble.
- Start a sport such as karate. Yes, this will involve talking with more people. However, as well as being fit, you'll get to know more people and you can talk about the same thing to as many different people as you like, as long as they're not in the same place as someone you've talked to before about the topic.
Well, if you want advice, as said above, feel free to e-mail me. I used to be exactly like you, yet I pulled out of it, and I'm now one of the most popular people around ;)
I had the same problem too. But I decided to overcome this and just started to speak in front of a lot of people. Then I forgot that I was afraid och people started to listen. Hopes this help.
You need to be bold and brave maybe a pat on your back can help?
Well... I almost had the same problem. Most of the peolpe know their "bugs" and think that they cannot change. I used to think like this too. But, after I worked with the newest Mind Model in the World - Zgjidhja (TM), all my "bugs" dissapear. I am able to speak in large groups, I am not shy anymore and I have no stress at all.
You can visit the site www.zgjidhja.com , or you can contact me.
Have a nice day
The reason is the " attraction" of people. act in any way(your way) or show them you are not reacting (although you are reacting). this will prove, you free from them. they must not have the chance to talk about you infront of you, if does, instantly change your mood. by doing this, you are making yourself comfortable. when you feel comfortable, then you ask about them. then start talking. no one does not need brain to talk.you don't need to be like others. ask the world what you want. its yours. they will talk in your way.
You have a good question I use to be the same way you are probably like me very quiet and don't speak when you want to because you are busy thinking about other things. I find it help to just shut your brain down stop thinking about what you are going to say or how stupid you think what you are going to sound and just speak. "Do You Feel Uncomfortable Meeting Friends? At Work, School Or On Dates? Does It Feel Like Everyone Is Judging You? Are You Painfully Shy?"
You are afraid to speak up because you were brought up not to speak. The solution is simple .....when the opportunity arises speak up say something anything. Then you will overcome your fear of saying something. The only thing in your way is fear so get rid of it challenge it by saying something. You will feel empowered once you do that. I know because I was afraid to speak my mind. It is only a fear and you can neutralise it. If you like talk to me and I will help you overcome your fear.
I am naturally shy and have always been afraid of conflict.I never spoke up and couldnt because speaking up always went agaist the grain of who I am.I got drunk but woke up next morning knowing Ime still me. And I now think I am grateful for being me and not let them people turn me around.I truly understand you and hope you dont get drunk as I did to fit in.
i hve the same prob when i talk something little i keep on thing wat did the other guy thing of me so this results into underpersonality but after reading this qn and comments i got on my qn are really helping
WAT U HAV TO DO HANG/SHOOT/FLUSH YOUR FEAR AND DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO THINK OF THA SAME THING I DID. IT REALLY IRRITATES STANDING ALONE INFONTS ONYOUR FRIENDS QUITE.
buy something like a nice car or something exspensive will boost confidence. going to the gym or learning fighting style getting fit will boost confidence.
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and sometimes when people say stuff about me, i sorta just take it without saying anything.
i hate how i am acting like this. i should be standing up for myself. and i hate how many people have labeled me as quiet and i want to change. but it seems SO hard to grow out of a label-i seem to be staying quiet because people now perceive me as that way.
what can i do? i know this is rather vague, but anything will help me.
Answer:
it is beacuse you are not confident of what u gonna say to them...
or maybe your afraid of what other people might gonna say to ya of what you gonna say!!
well all you have to do is speak up and stand up and get away with your fears!
just try it once and the next will follow..
belive me you just have to be confident enough!!
GOOD LUCK!!
Either you lack self confidence or you are not ready to speak or combination of both.
It will take efforts to break out of the mould. But it is very much possible. I will advise you to read autobiographies of great personalities. You will be surprised to know many of them were introverts at some stage. You can start expressing your opinion in a small intimate group first- like family gatherings. Brace yourself for the ridicule but stand firm. I have seen it happening. Whenever the shiest of us starts giving his inputs he is laughed at like--see see who's talking etc. but with time they will start giving attention to what you have to say..that's just a beginning...good luck.
I had/ have the same problem too.
I make myself do it, because I am sick of that feeling after of why didn't I say something. It's hard at first but it gets better!
Simply said, get out more if you aren't already. Some physical aspects which can help are medium level exercise, lots of sunlight, and going out with friends. Watch TV shows so you can talk about them. Try to find friends who are interested in things you are interested in or things you would like to get interested in.
Stand up straight in front of a mirror, and talk to yourself in an upper class English accent. Have a whole conversation. Take a half an hour. Before long you'll find yourself cracking up. Make up conversation, and think of responses people will make to it. Learn a few jokes. Before you know it, you'll be chatting away.
Few more pointers:
- Don't take what people say. Say something which will make them regret it. Anyone with stuff being said about them, feel free to e-mail me at japadict@gmail.com and I'll talk it over with you and give you advice.
- Note about the above point: Don't say it in a shaky voice or it'll be used against you. Practice what you say in front of a mirror, imagining the person until you can say it loudly and confidently without a single tremble.
- Start a sport such as karate. Yes, this will involve talking with more people. However, as well as being fit, you'll get to know more people and you can talk about the same thing to as many different people as you like, as long as they're not in the same place as someone you've talked to before about the topic.
Well, if you want advice, as said above, feel free to e-mail me. I used to be exactly like you, yet I pulled out of it, and I'm now one of the most popular people around ;)
I had the same problem too. But I decided to overcome this and just started to speak in front of a lot of people. Then I forgot that I was afraid och people started to listen. Hopes this help.
You need to be bold and brave maybe a pat on your back can help?
Well... I almost had the same problem. Most of the peolpe know their "bugs" and think that they cannot change. I used to think like this too. But, after I worked with the newest Mind Model in the World - Zgjidhja (TM), all my "bugs" dissapear. I am able to speak in large groups, I am not shy anymore and I have no stress at all.
You can visit the site www.zgjidhja.com , or you can contact me.
Have a nice day
The reason is the " attraction" of people. act in any way(your way) or show them you are not reacting (although you are reacting). this will prove, you free from them. they must not have the chance to talk about you infront of you, if does, instantly change your mood. by doing this, you are making yourself comfortable. when you feel comfortable, then you ask about them. then start talking. no one does not need brain to talk.you don't need to be like others. ask the world what you want. its yours. they will talk in your way.
You have a good question I use to be the same way you are probably like me very quiet and don't speak when you want to because you are busy thinking about other things. I find it help to just shut your brain down stop thinking about what you are going to say or how stupid you think what you are going to sound and just speak. "Do You Feel Uncomfortable Meeting Friends? At Work, School Or On Dates? Does It Feel Like Everyone Is Judging You? Are You Painfully Shy?"
You are afraid to speak up because you were brought up not to speak. The solution is simple .....when the opportunity arises speak up say something anything. Then you will overcome your fear of saying something. The only thing in your way is fear so get rid of it challenge it by saying something. You will feel empowered once you do that. I know because I was afraid to speak my mind. It is only a fear and you can neutralise it. If you like talk to me and I will help you overcome your fear.
I am naturally shy and have always been afraid of conflict.I never spoke up and couldnt because speaking up always went agaist the grain of who I am.I got drunk but woke up next morning knowing Ime still me. And I now think I am grateful for being me and not let them people turn me around.I truly understand you and hope you dont get drunk as I did to fit in.
i hve the same prob when i talk something little i keep on thing wat did the other guy thing of me so this results into underpersonality but after reading this qn and comments i got on my qn are really helping
WAT U HAV TO DO HANG/SHOOT/FLUSH YOUR FEAR AND DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO THINK OF THA SAME THING I DID. IT REALLY IRRITATES STANDING ALONE INFONTS ONYOUR FRIENDS QUITE.
buy something like a nice car or something exspensive will boost confidence. going to the gym or learning fighting style getting fit will boost confidence.
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