Difficult colleague.?
One of my colleagues at work is very difficult to work with. He is always telling people(including me sometimes),how theyr'e doing this or that wrong,and how we're going to get into trouble etc,etc,etc. There's nothing he likes more,than to see other people in trouble and get 'hauled over the coals'. ...He get's some sort of kick out of it. ...Yet he is the one who's had the most rebukes for various things.(I reckon because he's too preoccupied watching what everyone else is doing and not concentrating on what he's supposed to be doing!)
Can anybody explain why this person is like he is?
Has anybody had the same experience?
Answer:
I've worked with people like that before and I agree, they are ULTRA irritating. Best way to deal with them that I have found is to laugh when they "tell you off". If you can't manage that then just say nothing. These kind of people feed off negative emotion, and if they can be the cause of it they love it all the more.
Personally I think the theories of Transactional Analysis can best explain why some behave like this. Have a look at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/transaction... and check out some of the links for further explanation.
He is probably quite insecure himself, and so looks for failures in others to kind of make him feel better. I would asume that outside of work he probably lacks confidence and has few friends. May be try getting to know him a little? Point out what he is doing and help him?
No matter where you work, there will always be a d**k head, whether male or female! Even if you left your job there would be a similar person in your new workplace!
Unfortunately there isnt much you can do. The only suggestion I have is play sly tricks on him, such as superglue his chair or similar childish pranks. This way you can cope with his appauling behaviour as you are having a joke out of him!
Sounds like he was probably the school bully when he was younger. You know the sort, goes around picking on the little girls in the first year because he can make them cry and he feels big.
I think he just needs a taste of what all bullys should get, their own medicine! Let me know where and when and I'll come prepared with a cat-o-nine-tails, leather thigh boots and my nanny whip outfit - No charge as it's for a good cause! ;-P
He maybe feels he hasn't climbed the career ladder in life as much as he would have hoped. Therefore he feels superior to the position he currently works in. He maybe feels he doesn't have enough authority over people so he takes it upon himself to try and dictate to you all. Leave him to it. It's him who has the problem. Maybe something stemming from childhood. Perhaps his parents criticised him a lot.
sounds like insecurity,,,,,,or maybe just trying to highlight other peoples faults to save any more hassle for himself..either way, don't worry, just keep out of office politics
Yeah sounds like he is to preoccupied with making himself look good and getting everyone else in trouble.
Same experience the name was raymond always pointing out what we were doing wrong even to me the manager although he didnt know which way a nail went into a board.
Hi,
It sounds to me that this guy feels he has to put everybody down to feel better about himself. That would be a selfesteem issue. He might feel that he is working with people who are far better at the job and to compensate for his anxiety about his own issues, he is acting it out on you, the easiest targets.
I have had simular experiences with a colleague who became my supervisor, but I wasn't able to change him. I decided that I didn't want to deal with that anymore so I decided that I would move instead of getting annoyed and frustrated when I would deal with him.
I know it's difficult. I can't really recommend anything for you to do except for maybe sitting down with him and telling him that you can't work with him that way. However, that might increase his criticism of you.
Good luck anyway.
i have had this happen at work and found the people doing it are so miserable in their own life they have to do this to even the score...for them if someone else is in trouble even if they are just causing the anxiety of possible trouble...they actually get off on it...not sexually so much but it furthers them...in a way...it really is sick and i got to the point where i told them if they had nothing good to tell me i would prefer they told me nothing at all...they didn't know what to say and still don't...makes my life at work a little more pleasant at least...
Since, you say, he has received many rebukes for his own poor performance at work, he may be quite insecure in his job and feels he needs to set others up to fail so to speak to maintain a feeling of security and to justify why the company should not fire him possibly using the rationalization "Look at everyone else, they're screwing up too". Sounds like he may not last very much longer, unless he is related to the boss. If so, I would start looking elsewhere. Yes, I have had similar experiences with people a bit more sophisticated in their ability to spot others shortcomings and manage to let the bosses know without looking like a snitch themselves. This is the way the business world is, you get someone everywhere that loves to make others look bad. This is usually based on a very desperate need to be the best, therefore possibly feeling they are "loved/liked/needed" the most. It is also considered a "competitive strategy in the business world when going after a better position".
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Can anybody explain why this person is like he is?
Has anybody had the same experience?
Answer:
I've worked with people like that before and I agree, they are ULTRA irritating. Best way to deal with them that I have found is to laugh when they "tell you off". If you can't manage that then just say nothing. These kind of people feed off negative emotion, and if they can be the cause of it they love it all the more.
Personally I think the theories of Transactional Analysis can best explain why some behave like this. Have a look at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/transaction... and check out some of the links for further explanation.
He is probably quite insecure himself, and so looks for failures in others to kind of make him feel better. I would asume that outside of work he probably lacks confidence and has few friends. May be try getting to know him a little? Point out what he is doing and help him?
No matter where you work, there will always be a d**k head, whether male or female! Even if you left your job there would be a similar person in your new workplace!
Unfortunately there isnt much you can do. The only suggestion I have is play sly tricks on him, such as superglue his chair or similar childish pranks. This way you can cope with his appauling behaviour as you are having a joke out of him!
Sounds like he was probably the school bully when he was younger. You know the sort, goes around picking on the little girls in the first year because he can make them cry and he feels big.
I think he just needs a taste of what all bullys should get, their own medicine! Let me know where and when and I'll come prepared with a cat-o-nine-tails, leather thigh boots and my nanny whip outfit - No charge as it's for a good cause! ;-P
He maybe feels he hasn't climbed the career ladder in life as much as he would have hoped. Therefore he feels superior to the position he currently works in. He maybe feels he doesn't have enough authority over people so he takes it upon himself to try and dictate to you all. Leave him to it. It's him who has the problem. Maybe something stemming from childhood. Perhaps his parents criticised him a lot.
sounds like insecurity,,,,,,or maybe just trying to highlight other peoples faults to save any more hassle for himself..either way, don't worry, just keep out of office politics
Yeah sounds like he is to preoccupied with making himself look good and getting everyone else in trouble.
Same experience the name was raymond always pointing out what we were doing wrong even to me the manager although he didnt know which way a nail went into a board.
Hi,
It sounds to me that this guy feels he has to put everybody down to feel better about himself. That would be a selfesteem issue. He might feel that he is working with people who are far better at the job and to compensate for his anxiety about his own issues, he is acting it out on you, the easiest targets.
I have had simular experiences with a colleague who became my supervisor, but I wasn't able to change him. I decided that I didn't want to deal with that anymore so I decided that I would move instead of getting annoyed and frustrated when I would deal with him.
I know it's difficult. I can't really recommend anything for you to do except for maybe sitting down with him and telling him that you can't work with him that way. However, that might increase his criticism of you.
Good luck anyway.
i have had this happen at work and found the people doing it are so miserable in their own life they have to do this to even the score...for them if someone else is in trouble even if they are just causing the anxiety of possible trouble...they actually get off on it...not sexually so much but it furthers them...in a way...it really is sick and i got to the point where i told them if they had nothing good to tell me i would prefer they told me nothing at all...they didn't know what to say and still don't...makes my life at work a little more pleasant at least...
Since, you say, he has received many rebukes for his own poor performance at work, he may be quite insecure in his job and feels he needs to set others up to fail so to speak to maintain a feeling of security and to justify why the company should not fire him possibly using the rationalization "Look at everyone else, they're screwing up too". Sounds like he may not last very much longer, unless he is related to the boss. If so, I would start looking elsewhere. Yes, I have had similar experiences with people a bit more sophisticated in their ability to spot others shortcomings and manage to let the bosses know without looking like a snitch themselves. This is the way the business world is, you get someone everywhere that loves to make others look bad. This is usually based on a very desperate need to be the best, therefore possibly feeling they are "loved/liked/needed" the most. It is also considered a "competitive strategy in the business world when going after a better position".
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