How can I get my life together fast?!?
I can't seem to get my day in order. I wrote down my goals, made a schedule to follow through but nothing much gets done.
I constantly feel anxiety, depression but I don't want to take chemical cocktail.
My love life isn't good, my b/f is always with his friends and he isn't even sure he wants a g/f anymore. He used to be bigtime slacker but I helped him with the last of my finances and he is now back on his feet. I just feel broken, like I am paralyzed. Both my sisters committed suicide and I don't want to be like them!
I jsut want to be happy, but why I have to take a 9-5 job like a slave? I rather play music but not talented enough to make money. I also wish just find nice guy who take care of me, help me be independent in loving way.
Ok, ok, I'll stop.
Please advise. Thanks.
Answer:
I certainly feel bad for you. I am going through this too. I have for twenty years. I am wondering if you have depression that needs medical attention see a doctor and find out. I am wondering do you get angry when people say get out of bed get a job etc. If it was that easy I believe that you and I would have by now. Depression stops that and even though deep down you want to work and be successful the depression paralizes you right? I feel some people help and understand and some people havn't got a clue what depression does and that makes it harder to cope. If you can get to a good doctor then you'll probably recover or survive. good luck
Read the book "Depression is a Choice" by A.B. Curtiss
Hi I know sometimes it can be difficult when it comes to life.I understand where you're coming from with the 9-5 p.m. Besides,entrepreneur is my major and I am currently in a homebased business.If you're looking for to work from home where all you do is return "phone calls" then log on to http://www.glamorouslifestyles.com...
You are so beautiful and strong. I'm going through some similar problems in my life so it's very easy for me to relate. You were going in the right direction by writing down goals... but you may have to take things one day at a time for a while. Try eating healthier... watch less television and search for a job that will challenge you and involve your interests and talents.
good luck
peace
Boo F - ing Hoo. Get a freaking job. I work two jobs and go to school. I don't understand how you can not work. Working would be exercise for you, or at least get you off of your couch. It's time to do something.
I hate wage slavery too,but wheather you like it or not money rules the world!You need to get a little job at first of course its going to suck but hell youll feel a little productive.Then you need to save that money & figure what your good at what you like!Then start your own little business!If you want to beat the system then start acting like the system and beat them at its own game.Make up some flyers put your service on craigslist do something productive sleep when your dead!
I'm with you on this one. I feel you 100%.
I don't have the cure except to get a job. Ugh.
My god, whine whine whine! You want someone to come along and take care of you? That won't help your obvious clinical depression.
You need to take steps to correct the issue, which is that you're clinically depressed. Wallowing in self pity, overeating, being unemployed will not help a thing.
Working a job to earn money isn't slavery, it's called "self reliance". You need to do something for yourself instead of wanting a magic knight to come and save you and support you while you eat and watch TV.
1. Seek out counseling. It's not always expensive, and it is critical to dealing with your problems. If they give you medication, TAKE THE MEDICATION. Follow the doctor's directions. Deciding you don't want to is not an option, unless you want to be right back where you are now. Follow the rules.
2. Find a job. If you like music, look for a job at Guitar World or some place like that. You can play around with the expensive gear before you sell it to dumb rich kids.
That's all. If you want to get on the road to recovery, you need to take the first step.
Find a community psychologist . You need friends and support to help you with this. What you need is a routine and they can help you by analyzing where your problem is and helping you solve it. It really works. But you have to try it first.
I think the first the first thing you should do is talk with a professional, i.e therapist. You need someone thats, at the moment stronger and can help you in setting your goals one at a time.Just remember, to be totally healthy you need these six very important dimensions of health.
Physical
ability of human body structure to function properly
Social
ability to interact with other individuals
Mental
ability to process information and act properly
Emotional
ability to cope, adjust, and adapt
Spiritual
belief in some force or dynamic other than humans
Environmental
comprised of
you need to talk to your doctor and get some help
The first thing you need to do is stop feeling sorry for yourself. BTW, how do you live and eat if you haven't worked in years. Who pays your bills? I don't blame your boyfriend. What do you have to offer him.
You need to become empowered and take control of your life.
You have a lot going for you. You sound intelligent and resourceful. Use those resources to improve your position.
I learned a long time ago that I am the only person responsible for me. I put it in my mind that I am alone on this earth and if I was going to survive I had to make it happen. Nobody else is going to do it for me. If I'm going to live with dignity, the only person that's going to make that happen is me.
So get off the couch, turn off the TV, tell all your friends to go home you've got better things to do. Go out and get a job and take control of your life.
Exclude three bad things from your diet and staunchly refuse to eat them if they are presented to you. I recommend soda (even diet), french fries, and ice cream.
Next, learn something new that could potentially bring you happiness. Throw yourself into this thing like it is your new religion.
Find other people who are not wage slaves. Do you like what they're doing? Could you do it? Do not find them on TV. Find them in real life. Talk to them. Consider them.
Do something good for other people. I recommend volunteermatch.org for ideas and connections. Resolve not to complain to people while you are volunteering. There is nothing worse than a complaining volunteer.
Good luck.
Your question has several different parts, and I'll try to give you a good answer to each of them ... but it will take 'some time' for you to get through all of it and be back 'together' and you're just going to have to live with that ... this can be done 'as quickly as possible' but that won't be 'fast' (in the next week) ...
First ... are you LIVING WITH your boyfriend? Is he 'supporting you'? Do you want to be with him, or would you like to 'move on'? Since you said that you'd spent all of your 'finances' on him, I'm guessing that you ARE living with him, and that is the FIRST problem you are going to have to solve. Is there a place you can live (even in a homeless shelter, if necessary) if you move OUT and AWAY from him. He 'used you' and now while you are down he's saying he's not sure he 'wants a girlfriend' and that is at least PART of what is causing your anxiety and depression. THAT is the 'question' you must answer first ... and I actually 'recommend' that you 'move out' even if you do have to stay in a homeless shelter for awhile ... I've done it, and it's not FUN, nor is it EASY but you WILL SURVIVE, and you'll be able to 'think better' when you are out of the 'living situation' you are in right now.
Second ... your MENTAL HEALTH is 'in jeopardy' and you do need HELP. I know that you say you don't want to 'take a chemical cocktail' but you may NEED ONE to be able to 'think clearly' and make the 'right' decisions for you. Even if you get on an SSRI (for depression) or an 'anti-anxiety' medication, you DO NOT HAVE TO TAKE IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. I've been on SSRI's before, but because I have an 'extreme tendency' to want to kill myself when I can't 'write creatively' (which I can NOT do with an SSRI in my system) my doctor doesn't even want me on one all the time ... but if I get 'seriously depressed' he'll put me on one for a month or two, so I can 'get it together' and then he'll help me to get off of it without withdrawal symptoms when things are 'better' ... and you can INSIST that your prescribing doctor understands that ANY MEDICATION you go on will be ONLY TEMPORARY, whether he 'thinks' you 'need it for life' or not. So ... PLEASE ... go to a mental health provider and tell them that you would like an 'evaluation' for THERAPY and 'possible temporary medication' ...
Third ... you NEED A JOB ... but you don't want a 9-5 job 'like a slave' ... and this is the wonderful thing about being 'homeless' whether you are in a shelter or sleeping on the couch at a friend's place ... you can and SHOULD apply for 'welfare' (if you are in therapy, it should be EASY to get on the 'dole' for awhile) ... and that will give you both money and probably food (food stamps, usually) to live on while you get better and can 'look for' work ... but here is where I'm going to tell you something really DIFFERENT ... DO NOT LOOK FOR A 9-5 type job. You are OBVIOUSLY not 'normal' and you wouldn't 'fit' (or be comfortable) doing a 'normal job' ... but there are MANY JOBS you could do if you only knew 'where to look' for them. Think about your life, and the area you live in ... the 'people like you' have places to go, and things to do that they like doing ... and you should look for work in one of those places. You say you like music, so I'd START my 'job hunt' by applying at EVERY 'record store' or 'eating/drinking place' that plays the kind of music you enjoy most. You may be hired as a 'flunky' doing 'stocking' or 'serving' but IT'S A START ... and you'll feel far more comfortable there than in a 'suit and tie' job in a bank. You say that you are not 'talented enough' to make money through 'playing music' but I think that means that you are not 'good enough' on your 'instrument' ... but why couldn't you become a DJ for parties, and the 'apprentice' of a 'modern DJ who does the 'mixing' and 'blending' and whatever else they call what they do? For that matter, you could 'dress up' like a clown or a rabbit or Alice In Wonderland and do 'parties' for kids. Just 'think outside the box' when you go 'job hunting.'
Use the 'welfare' (if you take that route) to get into 'low income housing' so you'll have a PLACE OF YOUR OWN. Use the 'contacts' you'll make in your 'job hunt' to 'move up' in YOUR WORLD. You'll be BUSY, and you'll find that each day you'll have MORE ENERGY than the one before if you try this 'fix' I'm giving you ... and you WILL DO IT ON YOUR OWN ... ONE STEP AT A TIME ... because you are NOT A SLACKER, you're just depressed/anxious and you WANT TO GET BETTER AND BE BETTER than you are right now. So ... start with the 'thinking' about the 'question' I asked you, and then take the next step, and the next ... YOU ARE ON YOUR WAY!
Depression is NOT "a choice."
It is a medical condition created by a chemical balance within your body/brain. Taking a "happy cocktail" is a healthy medical decision, if it is needed. Often though, it is not.
See if you can find a trained counselor to talk with - if your health insurance doesn't cover it, find a pastor/Rabbi/Clergyperson of your choice. Or look to see if a clinic in your area offers mental health options. Sometimes all you need is to have someone outside give you "a whack on the head" to help you see that your life is not so bad and haw to help you make it better. A good counselor can also help you see that there are other job alternatives from the 9-5 option most people take, and they can help you achieve your goals. I found making myself accountable to someone (daily, then weekly, then monthly) really helped me get on track (new job, new apartment, new friends). And then she "pats me on the back" and helps me realise how far I've come.
Having your doctor prescribe something may help you at least feel like you are doing something, and it might even help! And it doesn't have to be forever. But it might help you sleep better, be able to do a little excercise (which also helps), and help you see the world in a better light.
Taking the first step really is the hardest part.
In some cases, I don't believe depression is a choice - sometimes people are more likely, due to their heredity, to be depressed, and it is indeed just a chemical imbalance. In your case it sounds like it is a choice. You are unhappy with your situation, but you aren't willing to take a job "like a slave". How absurd! Either you need to realize that you have a need for achievement, and to fulfill this need you have to push yourself and either start a rigorous work or school schedule, OR you should be happy that you're living a life of leisure! Do you have any idea how many people would love to not have to work? Maybe I'm not understanding what you've said.you get to sleep in every day, hang out with your friends, etc....and you're depressed about it? Most people would KILL to be able to live like that. So my suggestion - get on an antidepressant - there is NOTHING wrong with taking something to help you get started. Then find some kind of job or educational program to enroll in that is interesting and challenging to you, and get a personal trainer.
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