Beissers paradoxical theory of change?
Do you agree that "change occurs when one becomes what he 'is' not when he tries to become what he is not"?
How do you define 'change'?
Answer:
If you accept that genetics and early childhood conditioning determine a great deal about a person's psychology and relationships, than yes, I think you would agree with Beisser's theory.
Me? I have experienced major changes in my life, in my self esteem, my comfort with a variety of settings and behaviors, my relationships with others. I have consciously sought to find the healthiest version of myself, but I refuse to do things that are not natural to me. So, yeah, I think I agree with this.
Overall, I'd say it all goes back to what is PRIMARY for me. What I needed or was comfortable with early in my life, or in times where I was not restricted by social or interpersonal influence, is pretty much what I need and am comfortable with now.
I think it's important to remember that if you accept this theory of change, you remember that "change" can and should involve POSITIVE motion forward. This theory doesn't have to mean regression, or be an excuse to avoid growth. (In other words, don't cop out with "that's just who I am, like it or not.")
For example, in my life, when it comes to men, I don't want to change back to the kind of relationship I had with my father, even though that is the "IS" of my conditioning, according to your theory. Ick. Instead, I want to seek the things that I did not get as a child from that primary relationship. I can become the girl who "IS" seeking the kind of interaction with men that I sought as a child, rather than someone who "IS NOT" allowing those healthy interactions because they are unfamiliar. Much more comfortable, true to who I am, and drama-free.
Hope that makes sense. Good question!
Yeah of course its so obvious we can only truly be enlightened and happy when we reach our own inherent potential. Inner drive is different for everyone, when we accept who we are and most importantly our limitations thats when we can live on a plain of true understanding and BE WHO WE ARE MEANT TO BE.
Change is the period of living that occurs after a transition and an attitude adjustment. Hopefully its for the better.
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How do you define 'change'?
Answer:
If you accept that genetics and early childhood conditioning determine a great deal about a person's psychology and relationships, than yes, I think you would agree with Beisser's theory.
Me? I have experienced major changes in my life, in my self esteem, my comfort with a variety of settings and behaviors, my relationships with others. I have consciously sought to find the healthiest version of myself, but I refuse to do things that are not natural to me. So, yeah, I think I agree with this.
Overall, I'd say it all goes back to what is PRIMARY for me. What I needed or was comfortable with early in my life, or in times where I was not restricted by social or interpersonal influence, is pretty much what I need and am comfortable with now.
I think it's important to remember that if you accept this theory of change, you remember that "change" can and should involve POSITIVE motion forward. This theory doesn't have to mean regression, or be an excuse to avoid growth. (In other words, don't cop out with "that's just who I am, like it or not.")
For example, in my life, when it comes to men, I don't want to change back to the kind of relationship I had with my father, even though that is the "IS" of my conditioning, according to your theory. Ick. Instead, I want to seek the things that I did not get as a child from that primary relationship. I can become the girl who "IS" seeking the kind of interaction with men that I sought as a child, rather than someone who "IS NOT" allowing those healthy interactions because they are unfamiliar. Much more comfortable, true to who I am, and drama-free.
Hope that makes sense. Good question!
Yeah of course its so obvious we can only truly be enlightened and happy when we reach our own inherent potential. Inner drive is different for everyone, when we accept who we are and most importantly our limitations thats when we can live on a plain of true understanding and BE WHO WE ARE MEANT TO BE.
Change is the period of living that occurs after a transition and an attitude adjustment. Hopefully its for the better.
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