How do I get over being socially awkward?
I have been trying for the past three years to get over my awkwardness by regularly engaging in conversation with various people (practice makes perfect).
Anyway, long story short, I'm still as socially awkard as ever so clearly something's going wrong.
I mean, I'm a good looking guy but I admit I suffer from low self esteem, I've lived in the same town for 2 years now and have yet to engage in a conversation above small talk with ANYONE.
Answer:
Well John, I have to say that you need to realize something...EVERYONE is selfconscious and is concerned with how they are perceived by other people. While you may feel that your behavior is socially awkward, your willingness to overcome it with practice is admirable. I would recommend (if possible) meeting a friend at a local art gallery to discuss the paintings...that way, you're forced to make some kind of comment regardless of its content. or consider going to a poetry slam and hearing some local artists...if you go by yourself, you could try talking to the bartenders and striking up a conversation that may interest people standing nearby...as you said yourself, you just need to practice...and believe me, speaking as a formerly shy girl, it will not be 'cured' in a day...just take your time and believe that you can be the best person you can be. :) good luck buddy
I used to be very self conscious, and to a certain degree I still am. Whenever I was in a group of people I had an extremely difficult time expressing my thoughts and my ideas. I was terrified of sounding stupid and possibly having people laugh at me. I did not get over this until I realized that in the long run it doesn't really matter what other people think about you. The only opinion that matters is yours, and when you feel comfortable with yourself other people will see that. I found that interacting with people not only in real life but on-line in chat rooms also helped. If you are able to learn how to manage your words on-line, possibly you can learn how to manage them in real life as well so you don't feel as awkward when you are talking to people.
(1) Drop the "there's-something-wrong-here" conversation. That's the first thing to do.
(2) Give up the "I'm-socially-awkward" rendition of your favorite song. Nobody cares. Besides, haven't you heard of the underground film, "The Secret"? It's basically the law of attraction: what you think about, what you say, what thoughts you project...that's what gives you the reality you have.
(3) Give up the "I-suffer-from-low-self-esteem... mantra. Maybe if you experienced conversation and dialog measured by something other than small or big talk, you might get more out of it.
Finally, you can be as self-absorbed as you want, as self-consumed and as self-centered as you want. It's not going to make any difference. Whether you change it or not isn't going to matter. You are the way you are, obviously, because you clearly have an advantage in life by being this way.
So what else is new?
You may not be more awkward that normal; most people are shy but don't show it.
Maybe the people in the town are not as bright as you or are exclusive. They do not include new people in their group and have not made an effort to speak with you either.
Join an on-going social event (like church) and try meeting conversation partners there.
Practice makes perfect
this is actually addressed to girls, but it's very useful for both genders. and just ignore the "dating" thing in the url, it's about starting conversations.
sorry i gave a link, but i really hope this helps, it helped me. : )
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Anyway, long story short, I'm still as socially awkard as ever so clearly something's going wrong.
I mean, I'm a good looking guy but I admit I suffer from low self esteem, I've lived in the same town for 2 years now and have yet to engage in a conversation above small talk with ANYONE.
Answer:
Well John, I have to say that you need to realize something...EVERYONE is selfconscious and is concerned with how they are perceived by other people. While you may feel that your behavior is socially awkward, your willingness to overcome it with practice is admirable. I would recommend (if possible) meeting a friend at a local art gallery to discuss the paintings...that way, you're forced to make some kind of comment regardless of its content. or consider going to a poetry slam and hearing some local artists...if you go by yourself, you could try talking to the bartenders and striking up a conversation that may interest people standing nearby...as you said yourself, you just need to practice...and believe me, speaking as a formerly shy girl, it will not be 'cured' in a day...just take your time and believe that you can be the best person you can be. :) good luck buddy
I used to be very self conscious, and to a certain degree I still am. Whenever I was in a group of people I had an extremely difficult time expressing my thoughts and my ideas. I was terrified of sounding stupid and possibly having people laugh at me. I did not get over this until I realized that in the long run it doesn't really matter what other people think about you. The only opinion that matters is yours, and when you feel comfortable with yourself other people will see that. I found that interacting with people not only in real life but on-line in chat rooms also helped. If you are able to learn how to manage your words on-line, possibly you can learn how to manage them in real life as well so you don't feel as awkward when you are talking to people.
(1) Drop the "there's-something-wrong-here" conversation. That's the first thing to do.
(2) Give up the "I'm-socially-awkward" rendition of your favorite song. Nobody cares. Besides, haven't you heard of the underground film, "The Secret"? It's basically the law of attraction: what you think about, what you say, what thoughts you project...that's what gives you the reality you have.
(3) Give up the "I-suffer-from-low-self-esteem... mantra. Maybe if you experienced conversation and dialog measured by something other than small or big talk, you might get more out of it.
Finally, you can be as self-absorbed as you want, as self-consumed and as self-centered as you want. It's not going to make any difference. Whether you change it or not isn't going to matter. You are the way you are, obviously, because you clearly have an advantage in life by being this way.
So what else is new?
You may not be more awkward that normal; most people are shy but don't show it.
Maybe the people in the town are not as bright as you or are exclusive. They do not include new people in their group and have not made an effort to speak with you either.
Join an on-going social event (like church) and try meeting conversation partners there.
Practice makes perfect
this is actually addressed to girls, but it's very useful for both genders. and just ignore the "dating" thing in the url, it's about starting conversations.
sorry i gave a link, but i really hope this helps, it helped me. : )
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