Why do I always have this problem?
Answer:
It's called HUMAN NATURE. Everyone needs to feel loved which includes compliments, smiles, gestures or a pat on the back. When one is shunned by the group or masses, he/she become negative and if continually shunned, depressed. People need attention, either positive or negative, which is why we have serial killers, rapists, etc.. ATTENTION. You are craving attention and we love to give it to you. You are worth being told "Hey, your okay!" So put a smile on and enjoy the rest of your day.
Don't worry. I do it too. It's lack of self-esteem. You'll get over it. Just give it time. Congratulate yourself for things you do that you think are good and you'll get better.
because you just do!i do too... sometimes!
just think in your heart that you can do anything if you try!;)
First you need to recognize that if you don't believe in your self, no one else will. what you *think* others are thinking of you, you are probably wrong. Are you a good person? Sounds like you are just struggling with self esteem problems and no matter what others say to you or about you.if you have bad self esteem then what they say isn't going to make a difference in what you think about yourself. focus on all your positive thoughts of yourself and plain and simple-stop crapping on yourself with your negative thoughts. It really is that easy to fix self esteem. Stop crapping on yourself.
think good of yourself
1)perhpas when u were growing up, ur contributions, thoughts, feelings were not reinforced as something you should value and trust...instead, it was replaced with what others think of u. when children grow, they go through certain transitions which have critical stages. if the child got what he/she needed, he/she can successfully move to the next stage. if not, fixation may occur.
this is a very short summary. make sure u check Erikson's stages of development.
2) what u need to do right now to start trusting urself is to work on ur self-esteem. make a list of all the things u r good at and think of times when "u" really did something that made u feel good about urself. in any situation, give urself the benifit of the doubt and trust ur instincts. be willing to take risks and to be ready to handle the consequences...that takes courage and confidence!
good luck!
because you believe your self worth is determined by what other people think about you. sounds like you have a low self-esteem.
I hate to be the one to point out the obvious, but in saying "I need help please!" you are just perpetuating that pattern. It doesn't matter what others think. It only matters what you think. Why do you think you are not a good person? Until you re-evaluate that, no amount of reassurance or analysis from others will do any good.
Once you figure it out, you have to put the past behind you, forgive yourself, and look forward.
You know that you are a good person. You need to believe the only person who can help you is you. You need to believe in yourself. ( Of who you are, and what you are about). Don't let others or things get in the way of your belief. The dependency of others will not last, there will be sometime in which they won't be around and you will have to rely on yourself and they what? Try practicing in the mirror-- it sounds stupid. But it works. Tell yourself you are a beautiful, strong confident woman. That you can achieve anything. You keep saying that. Also read some of the self motivating books. A lot of them make good points about yourself in confidence and belief. Never doubt yourself. Even the most beautiful successful person has problems. Rely on your strengths. Write them down. I am sure you have more strengths than you give yourself credit for. Also reward yourself for who and what you are. Sometimes confidence can come from a nice day at the spa, shopping, for me shoes and clothes, some lingerie, something that you like, that just screams to you, you are on top of the world, not too mention a little sexy at the same time. As well as a great cut and color. Does wonders.! Try it and good luck.
I agree with many others here. It has to do with self-confidence, and there are a few ways to change these dependencies.
1. Get involved in something that you are good at (ie. poetry, art, sports). People will praise you for doing these things well - which in turn, should help you be more confident of your abilities.
2. Keep doing what you're doing. Unfortunately, this is one area in life that actually DOES get better with age. The older you get, the more confident you will be in yourself. Go to college, get on a rewarding career path, and you will soon find that you don't need others to tell you that you're a good person.
Insecurities come from worrying too much about what other people think. Stop worrying about how everyone else feels about you - the more you worry, the more insecure you can become.
Some people will live with these issues their whole life because they cannot break free from the pattern of 'always-wanting-to-be-liked-by... The second you realize that it's OK to not be on everyone's BFF list is when you'll begin to relize that you are the only one who can make YOU confident. Heck, you might even need new friends - some people (and possibly your current friends) feed off of others' insecurities. It makes THEM feel better about THEMSELVES to know that they are 'more secure' than their so-called friends. Stay away from these folk.
I'm sometimes the same way but am getting better about it. I started feeling better about myself that when I felt I need other people to tell me things about myself. When you start to look inward and say positive things about your self you start to believe those things. My therapist said look in the mirror and say positive things about who I am.Yes, I thought what a stupid thing that was but over time it worked. I'm not where I want to be in the self-confidence area yet but I'm getting there. I'm also feeling good about who I am not that I'm going back to school. There other ways to build your self confidence up like listening to or reading self affirmations(POSITIVE ONES)
Go to a book store there plenty of self help books out there to help you. But there is nothing wrong with you, from wanting to hear it from your friends or family it helps also but you HAVE to believe it is true and keep believing it. Write down your own positive affirmations like : I'm a survivor, I can handle this, I'm a valuable person, I do not have prove myself to others, I deserve good things., I'm a unique and a precious human being, always doing the best I can.,I'm a capable., I love myself because God loves me a made me. ect. Get where I'm going with all this. You have the power within yourself to make your own list of positive affirmation statements. Good luck you can and will get there in time.
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