What is appropriate of funeral remarks?
Answer:
i know that this is a very diffiicult question to answer. it depends on who died and your relationship to them. if you don't know them very much you can say that the person will be missed very much. if it's someone close you can tell something funny about their live that happened when you were with them. i.e. my brother died two years ago. .when he was little we had thanksgiving at my grandmothers house. my brother sat there looking at his turkey and just kept looking at it. finally my dad said to my brother what's wrong. my brother said he couldn/t eat it with the skin on it. so, my dad took the skin off. my brother continued to stare at his piece of turkey ,then he turned to my dad and said i can't eat it it's nude. the whole table broke up laughing. i'm the only one still alive that was at that table. i'm the only one who can still tell that story at my brothers funeral. so you see it depends on how close and who it is and what you know about them. you never,ever speak ill of the dead. that is being disrespectful.
At a time like this if you can't say something nice, inspiring, or a nice memory of the deceased you decline with regrets.
If I had strong negative feelings against a deceased, I would politely request to not say anything. It would be awkward to have to manufacture something positive when that is not your true feeling.
Youve been asked to contribute to a very special event! Under these hard circumstances i know you may be hesitant to speak...but remember...you were the special one who DID KNOW THE PERSON DURING THE WORST OF TIMES. That means that you were a REALLY good friend! Of course, you do not want to get into detail of what had happened during those tough times, but you do want to talk about how you two were there for eachother and that you will miss those moments with him/her. explain how he/she will never be replaced and that you wil miss him/her
You try and put a postive frame around that kind of relationship. You don't go into vivid details. Just say so and so was my friend. He /She was and then list what you liked about him/her.
So and So shared both good and bad times but I'll always remember him/her and I know he/she is in a much better place.
Something like that .
Or you can read a lyric to a song that is not too depressing that you know he/she liked.
Tenderly calling by Jan Garret is a beautiful song with a lovely lyric.
Footprints is also a good thing to read.
My condolences to you on losing your friend.
In my opinion, "Im sorry to hear about..." is the last thing that a family or survivors want to hear. Mentioning something like a funny memory would be appropriate. Be sure to check out their religious and traditions of the family before doing this though. If you're in doubt, ask a distant friend or relative of the family who is there... or just subtly tell them in voice or a card, "I'm here for you, should you need me." They need to hear that the most.
I would not worry too much about it. Just say whatever you think is appropriate. 100 years from now no one will care. Just do your best. Use your best judgment. That is all any of us can do.
There are many positive remarks about the deceased that you can make without mentioning the bad times.
Let me show you some examples:
If the man was a womanizer or a skirt chaser - you could say that he loved people and people loved him or the man had class, more than myself, I could take lessons. (meaning you're not going to do it).
The deceased was dishonest or deceptive - you could say he his own way and he knew God was watching over him. Meaning that only God knows.
If the deceased was divorced - you could say that he surely didn't stay still in one spot for too long.
If the deceased was in debt up to eyeballs - You could say that he is now in God's hands and he will protect him (from creditors).
If the deceased did not have nice words to say about anyone - you could say that the deceased looked forward in going home (talk to God) and give him a tongue slashing.
If the deceased had bad breath - you could say that the deceased loved the smell of country air.
Hope this helps.
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