Do i have a problem?
Answer:
Well, yes I do think you have a problem. This is not a healthy way to occupy your thoughts with. You sound like you have some sort of obssessive thoughts going on inside. I don't want to sound like I am beating up on you, but please consider going to see a therapist who can sit down with you and help you sort out WHY you have these sorts of thoughts. I hope that you can find freedom because these sorts of of brain patternings are not very healthy - hope you will think about it.
hmmm, maybe you're just paranoid about it. maybe something that happened when you were little that caused you to become like this? i'm not sure..
anxiety disorder
I don't know how old you are but If you dread losing your life, maybe you just value life so much that you're afraid to lose it. On the other hand if you don't think you're worth it, you may think that you deserve death. Either way, I also think you should see a therapist/psychologist. You'll probably get mostly guesses on this site unless of course a therapist answers this. I suggest you get busy with something that'll make you look forward to life. Take a class in painting, emergency medical tech (it only takes 1yr), crafts and you'll find that your brain is fully engaged in Life.
Yes, I think you have a problem but it's not a brain disorder. It sounds like you are a worrier. Something in your environment made your life feel unstable at a critical time in your life and from that point on, you probably worried that the "rug" would be pulled out from under you again. Maybe it was a divorce in your family or something substantial that traumatized you. Either way, you need to consciously learn to change the way you think. You CAN do it. Right now, you have a very pessimistic attitude. Saying positive things in your mind will help change your attitude.
it's quite strange to think about death most of the time. but i guess your problem is not "clinical". it's just about your attitude and outlook in life. try to think of happier thoughts. if your way of thinking affects your life (e.g. work, relationships), then you should seek professional help.
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