How should I end this loneliness?
I live in a small town which I don't understand at all, people talking about other people, entering into their private lives, hating each other. Two years ago I had some problems in my home and it changed me a lot, I am not happy as I used to be, I hate parties, I hate everything that a person my age actually loves. Lately I've been having problems even with my friends, I don't like hanging out with them anymore, they are not so serious, I hate the way they talk about other people, the way they analyse every person that walks by them and I can't do anything about because I don't won't to say anything to them. The problem is that I feel like I am alone. I have started college this year and I haven't made any new friends because I am shy and not that open with "unknown" and that's why I feel scared that this loneliness and this suffer will last forever, that I will never be able to find anyone to share my thoughts and feelings with, cause I cant do that with my "friends"...
Answer:
I sort of went through most of the feelings and experiences you`ve had.
I actually stopped hanging around with a group of people, which included my girlfriend at one time.
I split from her, then i split from the crowd, i had to, they weren`t the people i needed in my life.
It was for me a really traumatic time, that was 10 years ago, and i drifted from friend to friend until this year, ended up not really knowing who i was anymore.
Recently, finally, i was lucky enough to meet up with an old friend, a female friend, who i get on well with ,well there`s her, and a couple of others, and they have been friends since they were kids.
I`m very lucky to have them, funny enough i said yesterday to her i`m so happy, because i now feel that i have good friends, and i`m determined to keep them.
Thing is, its difficult to get good friends, but you can get them, if i can, so can anyone, and so can you my friend.
You`ll possibly have to go through a lot of crap with others to find these people, or person, but thats what you must do.
Your going to have to try and snap out of closing yourself off from the world, its a bad thing to go through. Its very lonely.
But your going to have to try and come out of yourself, open up a tiny bit, and see what people think of you.
You may not believe me, but i think you`ll find that most people, if you ask them, they might say i feel or have felt the same way as you at some time in their life or lives.
Go out and try, and if you get knocked back, think, learn from it, dust yourself down, get back up, and try again, believe me, it worked for me, and it`ll work for you.
Get a bit of the fighting spirit back inside you, and ste yourself a goal, thats a good way to accomplish anything.
You are a unique person, who has something interesting about them to someone else, someone will find you interesting, someone will find you funny,someone will see lots of things in you that you didnt think were important, never ever forget that.
It`ll possibly take time, but, if you get out there, try your hardest, then one day, just one day your life will maybe start to change for the better.
Sitting back and retreating into yourself is no answer, been there so many times.
Hope this advice helps.
Colin
I often felt that way when I was a teen-ager... didn't fit into the party life style. actually i always felt that way through out my life. I am finding that I have to be comfortable with who I am no matter how different or out of place I feel. Send out positive vibes instead of ones that will keep you an outcast. Think positive thoughts instead of negative ones. Where your mind goes the rest of you will follow... so better you should follow yourself to a happy environent than a negative one. Get into your hobbies, get into a mind zone that you are comfortable with . let that be your comfort zone... and the rest wll fall into place.Don't worry about your "friends". they are doing what they want to do, now it is your turn.
What you are feeling is normal. It feels like you are the only one growing while evrybodies mind is still in high school. Congrats you made to step one. Step two is to overcome shyness and start getting to know people. Take walks in between breaks go to a library and read. Join a club that seems interesting. It's a tough road but you can make it.
I have had this same feeling more or less for a lifetime, and hope you have better luck making friends than I did,
Start by changing your Yahoo name from "nobody" to something more inviting and positive!
The best way to handle any problematic situation is to talk about it. You should mention to your friends about how much you think that their back-biting is shallow and petty, and can't they try to rise above that petty crap and learn how to celebrate people instead of dissecting them?
I, too, feel like an alien sometimes...Many people seem so shallow and materialistic and petty and caddy and socially stunted...I have made a point to seek out people who are more spiritual and soulful...Perhaps at a church function, you could connect with less petty people (although religion is no cure for pettiness).
But it is imprtant to keep your head up and be proud of the fact that you are not petty and caddy and shallow. You are definitely not a "nobody". Try to smile alot at college - that's the best way to "collect" good people. Improve your outlook and your should improve your situation!!
GOOD LUCK!! CHIN UP!
You are doing well right now by talking with us. That is a good start. I am also lonely too sometime. Most of us probably are time to time lonely. I am go to church and college plus I hang out with friends, that helped a lot. The difference is I am extremely friendly and high energetically person. I am a great helper to the other where ever I go, so people kind of like me for that. Over all, I am just like you most of the time,lonely because I never could get enough attention.
small towns are kinda like that. i am from what i call i big small town. its the largest city in kansas (unless you count kansas city which is so large that it spans over two states) but it has a serious small town feel which is both a good thing and a bad thing. everybody still talks about everybody and feels that it's their right to know everyone else's business. thats why i moved. i was so happy to get out of that town. now i live in l.a. which is a drastic change because its larger and with a gazillion more people.
anyway about your loneliness. do you have any hobbies? what do YOU like to do. you meanted that your "friends" like to talk about people and analize every one. it seems like you haven't exactly found true friends. a true friend is someone that has your interests and maybe shares some of the same things you like to do. real friends don't talk bad about each other ya know? anyway i would just suggest that you find more hobbies and figure out things that you like to do so that you can first reconnect with yourself.
Hello Nobody, you may think you are the only person who is lonely in this world but you are wrong. there are thousands of people feeling exactly like you, and i am sometimes one of them. when i read your question, i felt for every word you said, i compeletly understand because i have been through it all. i used to be very happy a few years ago, now i completely dont get along with my family and especially my mum. i feel very lonely most of the times. i really wana be close to her and i want her to understand me but it is just not working. the main reason was because i fell in love with someone and she refused my marrige to me breaking my heart, something which i cant forgive her of. i spend most of the time in my room watching t.v, surfing the net etc, but i do not mix with my family and friends anymore.
people like me and you are very sensitive, we are easily hurt by the people around us, especialy those bitching about each other. i think you are hurt and that is why you prefer to be lonely. i personally feel alot happeir when i am on my own because there is no one around me to annoy me or upset me. i suggest you get yourself a pet, that way you dont feel so lonely. i bought myself a fish and they have brought so much joy into my life.
you know my advice is dont let this lonliness override you, be strong and patient. you will have a friend or a partner who will completly understand how you feel. for the time being, make the most of your time, maybe write something, draw, do the things that you always wanted and you will overcome it, hopefully you will meet some honest good friends.
good luck
I'm in total agreement with, Versatile 101.
However I would add, now that you are in college, take Psychology 101, it will help you to understand not only yourself but others, and the behaviors you are experiencing now and will experience in your future.
I sincerely feel you have a wonderful future ahead of you, and will become a well adjusted, productive human being.
Best regards.
More Questions and Answers:
Is OCD bad?
How do i quit pot...?
Is the fear of change greater than the fear of failure and if so does this stop people from living life large?
Can some one tell me about these Careers in the CIA?
What do you think ??
Is it possible to truly be in love with someone without being monogamous?
What is a good customer service?
What are you getting out of your life ?
How do you control your anger?
Answer:
I sort of went through most of the feelings and experiences you`ve had.
I actually stopped hanging around with a group of people, which included my girlfriend at one time.
I split from her, then i split from the crowd, i had to, they weren`t the people i needed in my life.
It was for me a really traumatic time, that was 10 years ago, and i drifted from friend to friend until this year, ended up not really knowing who i was anymore.
Recently, finally, i was lucky enough to meet up with an old friend, a female friend, who i get on well with ,well there`s her, and a couple of others, and they have been friends since they were kids.
I`m very lucky to have them, funny enough i said yesterday to her i`m so happy, because i now feel that i have good friends, and i`m determined to keep them.
Thing is, its difficult to get good friends, but you can get them, if i can, so can anyone, and so can you my friend.
You`ll possibly have to go through a lot of crap with others to find these people, or person, but thats what you must do.
Your going to have to try and snap out of closing yourself off from the world, its a bad thing to go through. Its very lonely.
But your going to have to try and come out of yourself, open up a tiny bit, and see what people think of you.
You may not believe me, but i think you`ll find that most people, if you ask them, they might say i feel or have felt the same way as you at some time in their life or lives.
Go out and try, and if you get knocked back, think, learn from it, dust yourself down, get back up, and try again, believe me, it worked for me, and it`ll work for you.
Get a bit of the fighting spirit back inside you, and ste yourself a goal, thats a good way to accomplish anything.
You are a unique person, who has something interesting about them to someone else, someone will find you interesting, someone will find you funny,someone will see lots of things in you that you didnt think were important, never ever forget that.
It`ll possibly take time, but, if you get out there, try your hardest, then one day, just one day your life will maybe start to change for the better.
Sitting back and retreating into yourself is no answer, been there so many times.
Hope this advice helps.
Colin
I often felt that way when I was a teen-ager... didn't fit into the party life style. actually i always felt that way through out my life. I am finding that I have to be comfortable with who I am no matter how different or out of place I feel. Send out positive vibes instead of ones that will keep you an outcast. Think positive thoughts instead of negative ones. Where your mind goes the rest of you will follow... so better you should follow yourself to a happy environent than a negative one. Get into your hobbies, get into a mind zone that you are comfortable with . let that be your comfort zone... and the rest wll fall into place.Don't worry about your "friends". they are doing what they want to do, now it is your turn.
What you are feeling is normal. It feels like you are the only one growing while evrybodies mind is still in high school. Congrats you made to step one. Step two is to overcome shyness and start getting to know people. Take walks in between breaks go to a library and read. Join a club that seems interesting. It's a tough road but you can make it.
I have had this same feeling more or less for a lifetime, and hope you have better luck making friends than I did,
Start by changing your Yahoo name from "nobody" to something more inviting and positive!
The best way to handle any problematic situation is to talk about it. You should mention to your friends about how much you think that their back-biting is shallow and petty, and can't they try to rise above that petty crap and learn how to celebrate people instead of dissecting them?
I, too, feel like an alien sometimes...Many people seem so shallow and materialistic and petty and caddy and socially stunted...I have made a point to seek out people who are more spiritual and soulful...Perhaps at a church function, you could connect with less petty people (although religion is no cure for pettiness).
But it is imprtant to keep your head up and be proud of the fact that you are not petty and caddy and shallow. You are definitely not a "nobody". Try to smile alot at college - that's the best way to "collect" good people. Improve your outlook and your should improve your situation!!
GOOD LUCK!! CHIN UP!
You are doing well right now by talking with us. That is a good start. I am also lonely too sometime. Most of us probably are time to time lonely. I am go to church and college plus I hang out with friends, that helped a lot. The difference is I am extremely friendly and high energetically person. I am a great helper to the other where ever I go, so people kind of like me for that. Over all, I am just like you most of the time,lonely because I never could get enough attention.
small towns are kinda like that. i am from what i call i big small town. its the largest city in kansas (unless you count kansas city which is so large that it spans over two states) but it has a serious small town feel which is both a good thing and a bad thing. everybody still talks about everybody and feels that it's their right to know everyone else's business. thats why i moved. i was so happy to get out of that town. now i live in l.a. which is a drastic change because its larger and with a gazillion more people.
anyway about your loneliness. do you have any hobbies? what do YOU like to do. you meanted that your "friends" like to talk about people and analize every one. it seems like you haven't exactly found true friends. a true friend is someone that has your interests and maybe shares some of the same things you like to do. real friends don't talk bad about each other ya know? anyway i would just suggest that you find more hobbies and figure out things that you like to do so that you can first reconnect with yourself.
Hello Nobody, you may think you are the only person who is lonely in this world but you are wrong. there are thousands of people feeling exactly like you, and i am sometimes one of them. when i read your question, i felt for every word you said, i compeletly understand because i have been through it all. i used to be very happy a few years ago, now i completely dont get along with my family and especially my mum. i feel very lonely most of the times. i really wana be close to her and i want her to understand me but it is just not working. the main reason was because i fell in love with someone and she refused my marrige to me breaking my heart, something which i cant forgive her of. i spend most of the time in my room watching t.v, surfing the net etc, but i do not mix with my family and friends anymore.
people like me and you are very sensitive, we are easily hurt by the people around us, especialy those bitching about each other. i think you are hurt and that is why you prefer to be lonely. i personally feel alot happeir when i am on my own because there is no one around me to annoy me or upset me. i suggest you get yourself a pet, that way you dont feel so lonely. i bought myself a fish and they have brought so much joy into my life.
you know my advice is dont let this lonliness override you, be strong and patient. you will have a friend or a partner who will completly understand how you feel. for the time being, make the most of your time, maybe write something, draw, do the things that you always wanted and you will overcome it, hopefully you will meet some honest good friends.
good luck
I'm in total agreement with, Versatile 101.
However I would add, now that you are in college, take Psychology 101, it will help you to understand not only yourself but others, and the behaviors you are experiencing now and will experience in your future.
I sincerely feel you have a wonderful future ahead of you, and will become a well adjusted, productive human being.
Best regards.
The answers post by the user, for information only, FunQA.com does not guarantee the right.
More Questions and Answers: