How can one remain clear headed enough to not just reflect others emotionally charged charges?

I have noticed I have a bad habit where if someone upset/irritated/angry with me, and there is obviously a valid underlying issue for them, but it's not really clear what that is, rather than clear it up, I'll just be sarcastic, which I know is a defense mechanism, but then the real issue is never addressed and I regret it because I still don't really know what that person's real problem was and feel that they have a misunderstanding of me.

This is happening with people I know casually, so I don't care enough about what they think of me to have a talk with them about a past interaction, but I want to change for the future. Does anyone else experience this? I don't generally have a problem taking criticism. Is it just that I'm overwhelmed by others emotions?

Answer:
Tell them to call you when they get over their little fit.
i dont understand you, ur language is way toooo beyond my level, you are no genius if you are a guy.... Ok smartass, i think you are high right now and everyone knows it. And now wonder people misunderstand you, because you have mental issues. why do u let teh world take an advantage of you you emotional easy target you pushover
My coworker acts like she's mad at me sometimes, but she never tells me why. I know that she's the type of person who gets mad easily about little things and takes it out on others sometimes, so there's different possiblilities as to the reason why she's mad. I'm pretty sure that I didn't do anything (on purpose) to upset her, so I just assume that she's mad about something and just taking it out on me. Or maybe I did something that I didn't know I did, so oh well. She's so immature when handling these things so I try not to let her emotions affect me. It's hard and her negativity can rub off on me but I've tried to disconnect myself from her emotions by taking deep breaths to feel more relaxed. Once I reached my goal I'm proud of myself. It sucks when you work with a negative coworker!
I'm not so sure that I would agree with your assessment that you can take criticism well because being sarcastic is a defense against criticism. Being sarcastic is a way of letting people know that you don't care what they think and in a way it's also a way of telling yourself that what they say doesn't mean anything to you and that you don't care what they thing when it's just the opposite that's right. You do care and your upset that someone would find something lacking in you or your ideas.

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