The first time you have sex is widely believed to be disappointing and nothing like you expected, yes?
Another point on the subject, people fear the prospect of not having sex with your future spouse until AFTER you marry him/her because there's the theory that the future spouse is terrible in bed. If it turns out that he/she is, couldn't the two of you just practice until your game is honed just like you would with countless other partners? The whole "test-drive before you buy the car" arguement is a stupid one.
Or do I just not get it at all?
Answer:
I do not believe anyone should be pressured to have sex.
However, I think it's a stereotype to say that one's first sexual experience will be a disappointment... just as it is a "myth" to say that one's first experience will be "fireworks," (or whatever). And marriage has nothing to do with it. My impression is that it has much more to do with how the couple feel about each other and their relationship.
By the way, my first time was great. And no, I was not married. And yes, he was gentle and considerate and there was good chemistry between us.
I really liked what the above poster said about sex vs. sexuality vs. desire. People need to be in touch with their own desire and sexuality, and do what's right for them.
learning curve is pretty flat here, so you start enjoying it on 2nd or 3d time.
u dont get it at alll
the point of losing ur virginity is braggin rights ur a guy (ur avatar looks like a guy) u should know man
I lost my virginity when I was 16, had no idea what I was doing, neither did she, so it wasn't anything overly special.
When I was 18 I moved away and went to college and started dating a woman who was 42 years old. She was using me and I was cool with that.
That is when sex got memorable. It wasn't so much about sex so you could fit in and tell my friends I 'got some', but about enjoying oneself and going at your own pace.
I think there is too much emphasis on sex in society and not enough on sexuality. Sex is the act, but sexuality is the desire. Desire is better.
The first extra-marital sexual experience is often unsatisfying due to a number of factors; mainly fear! For the girl, there's the fear of an unwanted pregnancy or an STD, even with protection; the fear that she and her partner will be discovered, the fear that she isn't "any good" sex-wise, and the fear of her reputation. For guys, there's the same fears, of getting a girl pregnant and having to assume responsibilities he's not prepared for, the fear of getting caught, the fear that his "performance" is not up to snuff, and the fear that his buddies won't think him "manly" unless he scores with a girl.
On the other hand, there's peer pressure. Everybody's doin' it, so how come you're not? Are you gay? Are you too scared? Can't you get it up? -- that sort of thing.
Marital sex is a whole different matter. Both members of the new married couple may not be so great in bed at first. It takes practice and getting to know what each of you likes. "The test-drive theory" is used a lot more than you think, but if it is, it can backfire, since you might find a "model" you like better. In other words, you will tire of one another before the wedding vows are taken. So there are arguments for and against, and there is no particular standard by which you can pattern yourself. I would say let your conscience be your guide, and do whatever you think is best for you. You "get it", all right, but it's a very confusing subject and its rules do not apply to everyone or every given situation.
Well I'm almost out of high school but I'm the only one of my friends that remains a virgin. And honestly I have no regrets, while many of them do. It's so frustrating to me because all of my girl friends hated their first time (not only because of the pain) but also because they have all split with their boyfriends since. I'm not saying that waiting till marriage is the answer. But I do believe that if two people love each other enough, there is no reason you need to "test drive" anything or anyone. Love is love and that's what marriage is about right?
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