How can I get reciprocation and interest so I can make new friends?
I've always been a wallflower. Not good at making small talk and just walking up to strangers and having conversations. In group situations, I'm always the quiet one who listens and nods. But now that my oldest is in school, I see the same group of moms and have pushed myself to come out of my shell. But I find that I'm always the one asking questions and am constantly having to make the conversations move forward. What bothers me is that I haven't had the same reciprocated. Why?
I'm going to a ladies-only social event soon and am stressing that even though I know the names of many of the women and have had past conversations, when it comes to dinnertime, I fear it's gonna be a repeat of the popularity contest in high school and I'll be left out, forced to sit with a group that I don't know (had this happen to me once in a mom's club I used to belong to).
Answer:
Psychology.a difficult concept, it is not logical. Ain't it the truth.
I know where you are coming from 'cause I've been there before. The key is you gotta know that you are the best and that you matter.
In my own situations, I noticed that a lot of folk group together by economics, percieved social standing, attractiveness and all the other petty crap that doesn't really matter. And the reason it doesn't matter is because it is a veneer or shallow coating that hides a multitude of.whatever. There are those folks who are secure enough in themselves that all of that societal stuff doesn't matter and they go mingle and enjoy the moment. But there are folks out there who are trying to be something they are not and feel they have to 'associate' with the best crowd or put someone else down to feel they are somehow perceived as better.
But when it all comes 'round, you must always, always keep this in mind and say to yourself..I matter! I'm important! I have something meaningful to contribute! Have that wellspring of confidence that boils up from knowing you are the best you that you can be. And judging from your question I have the feeling you are a very giving, caring person that just wants to be noticed for who she is.and to even get out here and ask this in an open forum, to me demonstrates courage under fire.
So hang in there, be all you can be and just go out there and enjoy life. After all, it is a precious gift
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I'm going to a ladies-only social event soon and am stressing that even though I know the names of many of the women and have had past conversations, when it comes to dinnertime, I fear it's gonna be a repeat of the popularity contest in high school and I'll be left out, forced to sit with a group that I don't know (had this happen to me once in a mom's club I used to belong to).
Answer:
Psychology.a difficult concept, it is not logical. Ain't it the truth.
I know where you are coming from 'cause I've been there before. The key is you gotta know that you are the best and that you matter.
In my own situations, I noticed that a lot of folk group together by economics, percieved social standing, attractiveness and all the other petty crap that doesn't really matter. And the reason it doesn't matter is because it is a veneer or shallow coating that hides a multitude of.whatever. There are those folks who are secure enough in themselves that all of that societal stuff doesn't matter and they go mingle and enjoy the moment. But there are folks out there who are trying to be something they are not and feel they have to 'associate' with the best crowd or put someone else down to feel they are somehow perceived as better.
But when it all comes 'round, you must always, always keep this in mind and say to yourself..I matter! I'm important! I have something meaningful to contribute! Have that wellspring of confidence that boils up from knowing you are the best you that you can be. And judging from your question I have the feeling you are a very giving, caring person that just wants to be noticed for who she is.and to even get out here and ask this in an open forum, to me demonstrates courage under fire.
So hang in there, be all you can be and just go out there and enjoy life. After all, it is a precious gift
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