Feel angry and inadequate with myself that i feel frightened of young youths that live in my area that shout?
i have bpd and have suffered alot of bullying & victimisation in my past, i have real bad anxiety & rage problems as a result of this...ive made no friends in life & live on my own...i feel bad about myself because i shouldnt feel scared by a gang of teenagers or feel intimidated..& i worry how anyone percieves this where i live, if people can tell iam afraid & have anxiety..i feel extremely angry about this because i feel i should be tough,strong & brave like a 30 year old man should be..
can any guy relate to this & how i can overcome this?
Answer:
don't worry , I've been in such circumstances too & it can bring up memories or subconscious feelings of being bullied & threatened. I can't say just don't be afriad & be ourageous, it probably isn't as easy as that, but I can tell you they are much more afraid than you, that's why the threatening behaviour..have you ever seen ahappy, content person going round acting all tough? no, they're happy within themselves & don't need o behave like that..
if you can, neutralise these feelings & act like an observer, both to your feelings & to these boys...if you have love & compassion towards them, they'll not feel threatening.
Get a gun and do not start the trouble but be ready when it comes,,,and if at all possible move away from there,,,
You just have to let the feelings be there and question the thoughts that pop up when you get into those sorts of situations.
You could try going to a website (www.thework.com) and go through the free worksheet(s) there. To see this in action, go to Youtube and search "Byron Katie". Watch a couple of her videos to see how it works.
It's just a method of questioning the beliefs you hold, how they make you feel, and how you can look at the situation differently.
Some thoughts you could work on:
"I feel afraid of the youth in my area."
"I should have no fear."
"I should be tough, strong, and brave."
"I'm not tough, strong, and brave."
Try it. It can't hurt.
You're fearful with 10:1 odds? That's not abnormal, that's called common sense. Ditto the first person's answer!
Old cop's saying: "Fear will often keep you alive, when (false) bravado will get you an early tombstone."
First, whoever says "get a gun" is probably giving you the worst advice ever. If you're already intimidated by these people, having a gun taken off you and being shot with your own gun becomes a big possibility.
Next, get yourself someone to talk to(not necessarily a shrink) that can help you with maybe a program to build your confidence (maybe a self defense class , you will meet other people there, maybe make some friends)
The more you let them intimidate you, the angrier you will get at yourself. The more friends you make the better you will feel about yourself and you probably won't even notice these "bullies" being there.
You are not a man. You are acting like a child. If you cant get a grip on this on your own, I recommend getting help. Take martial arts lessons, it helps with self esteem.
Anybody in that environment that tells you they wouldn't be scared are LIARS. Everybody is afraid of this, afraid of that. Soldiers on the battlefield are scared, heroes in the police and fire departments are scared. It's being able to FUNCTION while in the state of total fear that you need to work on. These guys may or may not be harmful. I used to live in a gang area and when I came home from a trip I found that someone had stolen something from my yard that I had left locked. I instantly thought of the gang but my property was returned the following day, the gang had stopped the thief, beat him up pretty bad, and turned my property over to the manager.
That's very odd..I wish I could give you an opinion
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