How to improve my personality?
hi.i m 18 years old man.i m a v. shy person.i feel v oud whan i meet a strang person. also how i improve my communication skills.pls help me.
Answer:
There are tons of things you could do, but one idea that springs to mind is volunteering someplace. Why volunteering? First of all, you will be appreciated no matter what skills you do or don't bring to the job. Second, you may find it easier to feel and be more outgoing when you feel charitable--volunteering someplace is doing a charitable work. Third, depending where you volunteer, you will probably find that you are put to work at the "lowest" level first--you probably won't have to instantly be Mr. Outgoing Man because you'll be pretty low on the totem pole--the Outgoing jobs are usually reserved for people at the top. Or, Fourth, you may volunteer someplace where the work you do is one-on-one, so there will be no pressure to "perform" in front of too many people at once. Fifth, you may find your confidence building as you get better at your volunteer work.
What kind of volunteer work can you do? I'm not sure where you live or what kind of situation you're in, but take a look at the opportunities in your area. Are you good with kids? Be a "Big Brother." If that's too touchy-feely for a shy guy like you, volunteer at a local food bank--these people collect, then redistribute, food for poor people. You may simply be shuffling cans of food around on a shelf, but you can, at the same time, be interacting with your co-workers and growing a little less shy doing it. Volunteer at a local homeless shelter. Even if you're just slopping mashed potatoes onto a plate, you can smile at every person standing across from you and practice saying, with sincerity, "Enjoy your meal." Volunteer at a local animal shelter. Animals are a great way to get your confidence up, because they either love you no matter what, or they're obviously more afraid than you are. You may have some interaction with the public, too, but you'll feel better knowing that most people who come there are intent on finding a pet, not on criticizing you.
Communication skills improve with practice. And practice works best with other people. Talk to other people--and LISTEN to them. Also read whatever you can. Listen to people on the radio or TV. This may sound silly, but imitate them. Does somebody's accent, or odd phrasing, catch your ear? Try to reproduce it with your own tongue. Repeat their words back to yourself. As long as you aren't providing the entertainment for a roomful of people! Along the way, and probably without even noticing it, you'll develop your own speaking style.
Most of all, remember, you're only 18. You've got a lot more to learn, and a lot more time to do it in! Few people graduate from high school at age 18 ready to face the world with perfect confidence and magnificent communication skills. Don't be too hard on yourself. You'll get better just be living life. Just remember to have fun doing it!
The self-help section of the public library has many books regarding communication, self-esteem, self-confidence, positive affirmations, and much more.
Something I advise everyone to do is to take classes or join groups that truly interest you. In that way, you will be dealing with people with interests similar to yours, and you will have things in common to talk about--which makes it much easier.
Best wishes--you CAN do it :)
Fake it til you make it. Pretend that you are comfortable and happy when encountering a new person in your life. Force yourself to speak to strangers when you are out. Say hello or mention the weather. Mention anything appropriate. If someone starts a conversation about anything you say, continue the conversation. Put yourself in situations with other people, join a club or event. If you isolate because you are shy, it will worsen. Read Elllis' book on REBT. If this becomes a problem that continues to affect your life in a negative manner, seek counseling.
There's a book that came out in 1936 called "How to Win Friends and Influence People" that you might want to check out.
It's still in print, sold millions of copies and even though it's slow in parts, has great tips like:
1.Smile--when you meet people, smiling is one of the quickest ways to put people at ease without saying a word.
2.Be positive--no one wants to be around someone who's critical & complaining (something that comes natural, but never really helpful) Not complaining is hard to do, but keep it in mind during an initial meeting.
3.Ask people about themselves--Perhaps one of the biggest secrets is asking a person about the subject they care the most about, mainly them. People can talk and will talk about themselves forever--ask them about interests (If you're a young man, this works for trying to talk to women--ask them about music they like, movies they like, books they've read, sports they've played--but keep in mind the whole 'not complaining' thing 'cause it's really easy to say a book or movie they like is lame).
4. Remember people's names--people like their names & feeling important enough to remember
5.Make the other person feel important by talking about their interests. EX. "Oh you like soccer? What do you think of Beckham coming to the United States?"
5 1/2. Start reading the front cover of a couple of newspapers--you can do this on-line, but knowing current events will help you relate to people with whom you don't share much in common.
The first step to becoming less shy is getting out there & talking to people. By asking this question, you're on your way.
Get drunk and kiss a good-looking guy. He will love you. Ask him to sit on your lap. Trust me, it is not as if men refuse sex when offered.
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Answer:
There are tons of things you could do, but one idea that springs to mind is volunteering someplace. Why volunteering? First of all, you will be appreciated no matter what skills you do or don't bring to the job. Second, you may find it easier to feel and be more outgoing when you feel charitable--volunteering someplace is doing a charitable work. Third, depending where you volunteer, you will probably find that you are put to work at the "lowest" level first--you probably won't have to instantly be Mr. Outgoing Man because you'll be pretty low on the totem pole--the Outgoing jobs are usually reserved for people at the top. Or, Fourth, you may volunteer someplace where the work you do is one-on-one, so there will be no pressure to "perform" in front of too many people at once. Fifth, you may find your confidence building as you get better at your volunteer work.
What kind of volunteer work can you do? I'm not sure where you live or what kind of situation you're in, but take a look at the opportunities in your area. Are you good with kids? Be a "Big Brother." If that's too touchy-feely for a shy guy like you, volunteer at a local food bank--these people collect, then redistribute, food for poor people. You may simply be shuffling cans of food around on a shelf, but you can, at the same time, be interacting with your co-workers and growing a little less shy doing it. Volunteer at a local homeless shelter. Even if you're just slopping mashed potatoes onto a plate, you can smile at every person standing across from you and practice saying, with sincerity, "Enjoy your meal." Volunteer at a local animal shelter. Animals are a great way to get your confidence up, because they either love you no matter what, or they're obviously more afraid than you are. You may have some interaction with the public, too, but you'll feel better knowing that most people who come there are intent on finding a pet, not on criticizing you.
Communication skills improve with practice. And practice works best with other people. Talk to other people--and LISTEN to them. Also read whatever you can. Listen to people on the radio or TV. This may sound silly, but imitate them. Does somebody's accent, or odd phrasing, catch your ear? Try to reproduce it with your own tongue. Repeat their words back to yourself. As long as you aren't providing the entertainment for a roomful of people! Along the way, and probably without even noticing it, you'll develop your own speaking style.
Most of all, remember, you're only 18. You've got a lot more to learn, and a lot more time to do it in! Few people graduate from high school at age 18 ready to face the world with perfect confidence and magnificent communication skills. Don't be too hard on yourself. You'll get better just be living life. Just remember to have fun doing it!
The self-help section of the public library has many books regarding communication, self-esteem, self-confidence, positive affirmations, and much more.
Something I advise everyone to do is to take classes or join groups that truly interest you. In that way, you will be dealing with people with interests similar to yours, and you will have things in common to talk about--which makes it much easier.
Best wishes--you CAN do it :)
Fake it til you make it. Pretend that you are comfortable and happy when encountering a new person in your life. Force yourself to speak to strangers when you are out. Say hello or mention the weather. Mention anything appropriate. If someone starts a conversation about anything you say, continue the conversation. Put yourself in situations with other people, join a club or event. If you isolate because you are shy, it will worsen. Read Elllis' book on REBT. If this becomes a problem that continues to affect your life in a negative manner, seek counseling.
There's a book that came out in 1936 called "How to Win Friends and Influence People" that you might want to check out.
It's still in print, sold millions of copies and even though it's slow in parts, has great tips like:
1.Smile--when you meet people, smiling is one of the quickest ways to put people at ease without saying a word.
2.Be positive--no one wants to be around someone who's critical & complaining (something that comes natural, but never really helpful) Not complaining is hard to do, but keep it in mind during an initial meeting.
3.Ask people about themselves--Perhaps one of the biggest secrets is asking a person about the subject they care the most about, mainly them. People can talk and will talk about themselves forever--ask them about interests (If you're a young man, this works for trying to talk to women--ask them about music they like, movies they like, books they've read, sports they've played--but keep in mind the whole 'not complaining' thing 'cause it's really easy to say a book or movie they like is lame).
4. Remember people's names--people like their names & feeling important enough to remember
5.Make the other person feel important by talking about their interests. EX. "Oh you like soccer? What do you think of Beckham coming to the United States?"
5 1/2. Start reading the front cover of a couple of newspapers--you can do this on-line, but knowing current events will help you relate to people with whom you don't share much in common.
The first step to becoming less shy is getting out there & talking to people. By asking this question, you're on your way.
Get drunk and kiss a good-looking guy. He will love you. Ask him to sit on your lap. Trust me, it is not as if men refuse sex when offered.
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