This ticks me off.. does it ever happen you you?
but has it happened to you??
plz comment.!!
i need to know what u think
Lies, Deception, and Memories”
When everyone is gone, where will you go?
No one will listen, the end of the show.
It will only be so long that they believe your lies.
You will soon be forgotten, except for the boy who cries.
Hurtful words and twisted stories will be over.
All you will be able to do is wish on a four leaf clover.
We will always love you, this will never change.
How you are acting now is nothing but considered strange.
There is never a moment in my day that you don’t appear.
As I look at old pictures, memories flow, like an army of tears.
Money is about everything now, something you cannot live without.
When we were younger, that’s what you never about.
I always said that you were honest and true.
Only if I had any idea, just one single clue,
That you would be who you are today
Completely different from whom you were, but now astray.
I hope one day you will see the light.
When I see you again, I pray it will all be right.
I never understood why you put up a shield,
Like a cement wall, completely sealed.
Was it her; was she the one who did this to you?
Was she everything but honest; everything but true?
These are questions I run through each day.
For now there is no hope, and all I can do is pray.
When I saw you that last day, I wanted to break.
It was like being there was one big mistake.
I thought so many times you would be there
But all I can do is think in disbelieve and stare.
As you saw the tears in her eyes, you just walked away
Standing in a room with people, all she could do was pray.
Not knowing what to do, she tried to reach for you.
All you did was ignore her as if you hadn’t a single clue.
You have changed into another person all together.
Nothing I can do now, but talk about the weather.
I don’t want to think about it, but it haunts me
I don’t want be around you, but you’re all I see.
Answer:
I say congratulations!! You have courage and are very creative and talented. It was very good and deep and full of meaning. Great job! Keep up the good work. I could never write a poem with such deep words. Thank you for your poem! :)
WOW
emotions came through like wildfire! i love the ryming ability of it, even though it was very realistic
It's really long which may be why others have not taken the time to read it. We are all always so darn busy, here too.
Anyway. I liked it but it was a bit confusing. Seemed like you were afraid to just say it all outright so you shrouded the story of it all in lines of verbage that didn't give it all up but sounded good.
Does sound like good song lyrics though. Good luck and God bless.
to be honest it is all over the place...it doesn't start and end with meaning...it just seems like you were looking for words that rhymed and put them together...i'm sorry...i just didn't care much for it...i couldn't get any feeling from it.
I love it. It is full of lots of emotions. send me some more of your pomes to me at roland@taracks.com I Will star it!!
I have a feeling that you are writting about your own experiences.If this is the case you need to get professional counselling.Living in the past ,chasing a dream that will never come true ,is not healthy.But if it is simply a poem,it has a few good points although shrouded by a dark cloak.The story line is disjointed and too long.Keep trying though ,you seem to be on the right track.
It's okay. A bit long. After awhile I lost interest. There are lots of mistakes and your meter isn't constant. It could be really good with a few tweaks. If you're interested, I'll be glad to help. If not, good luck anyway. The last verse is really good.
I think it's very good. It tugs at my heart. I remember times when I felt just like that.
Keep writing!
In the beginning I was reading and it sounded a lot like Never Again by Kelly Clarkson. Then it sort of went astray. It's a bit lengthy but when you go into that area it's not easy to say so much in so little words. I love the last two lines. I can relate my entire life to those words. And I thank you, this was just what I've been needing.
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