I can't handle heated arguments!?
Why can't I handle this? I must have some weakness there and what is the best way to stop somebody yelling at you rather than running like I do?
Answer:
firstly, maybe just maybe in your past somewhere you had a little bit of a scare with arguing and fighting or maybe it is not something that you are used to and cannot tolerate
Either way you are doing the right thing by walking away, as nothing can be solved or resolved with anger, it needs to be talked through calmly, write the issues own and you may have a clearer picture of what is going on, talk to a responsible adult about how you are feeling, like a parent, grandparent or counselor
Wow, you're sort of like me. When ever I get into an argument, it's like I can't speak. I just want to say it, but it never comes out. Well you probably can't handle it because your scared and you don't want anything bad to happen to you. It could lead to grudges and stuff worse than that. Probably why, just think inside yourself why your afraid. Yeah, ok.
I think you should sit him down and tell him that you dont like him yelling at you. If he doesnt know that his loud voice makes you feel uncomfortable then you cant fix the situation. Just let him know that when you guys have arguments, try to keep the tone down and just calmly get through things. Ive had arguments with my bf and Im usually the one yelling but he told me that it made him unhappy and want to just get away and when i knew, i said that i was sorry and i worked on keeping my tone down. We dont have problems with yelling anymore. Besides little constructive arguments help build a stronger relationship. Good luck!
its most likely because you are afraid he will break up with you or the convo will lead to the end of your relationship. Somewhere deep down in your heart you feel insecure and afraid of loosing him. I think if you try telling him how you feel it will make it a little easier. No one likes arguing, its scary believe me i know. Breath through it and keep your voice calm.
If someone starts yelling and being irrational, try taking a deep breath and calmly stating that you'd rather discuss whatever you are arguing about when everyone has calmed down.
No one needs to yell. It is fine to "take a break" and return to the discussion when everyone is rational and communicative again. Keep your cool, and you will be fine. There is nothing wrong with you!
First, stop avoiding arguments. This is only going to cause you to end up resenting your significant other.
A lot of couples have this same problem. Usually, both parties share some of the blame. The best way to solve this problem is to sit down with your partner and discuss a method of debate that will work for the both of you. When you see an argument coming, you need to pause, step outside of the box and follow the rules of engagement setup when you discussed this "method of debate".
I'd also suggest you explain to him, that if his argument is concise and logical...then there is no reason he needs to raise his voice or get angry. Raising your voice in a debate = introducing emotion.which in-turn means your following a less-rational course for solving a problem.
I'd also suggest you doing some follow-up research on Passive Aggressive Behavior.
leave him, he has the propensity to be verbally abusive. this does not typically get any better. good luck.
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