I can't control my aggression?
Answer:
It is nice to hear from someone else who has this problem. My fiance is the exact same way, but he has gotten much better with age. He has been taught by a therapist how to recognize the physical triggers that anger is taking over, and how to stop before it is too late and you have already blown a gasket. Concentrate on the words you say, your breathing, the solution instead of the problem. Maybe get some counseling.
Keep telling yourself, "that's nothing to worry about".
oh honey, what did they do to you?YOU NEED COUNSELING.So that you can start dealing with your Real feelings.Did they ignore you like you weren't important, unworthy?Also sometimes it's easier to get pissed off & kill, then it is to let yourself cry,feel guilt,forgive.Next time you get angry,(even if it's to the bathroom)leave take a deep breath & write why your angry,what about it upset you.What you would've wanted to happen?,how did you expect that person to act. why it made you sad?HOw could you handle it properly.Write out what you would like to say & then what YOU SHOULD say.
When I was younger I had a problem with extreme emotions. I didn't set out to destroy anyone, as you mentioned above, but I absolutely could not control how upset I would get about something at times. I used to get so mad I would throw things or slam doors. It was a slow process getting over that. But here's what helped: My husband (then boyfriend) used to tell me when I'd get all out of whack that I was very "irrational" and say that women came from a place of emotions and were, in general, just very irrational and that men were much better at dealing with things in a calm, unemotional way; therefore, they were much better at dealing with conflict than women. That used to piss me off like the dickens because I hated to be reduced to the "irrational female." But him saying that actually helped me in an enormous way because, not wanting to ever be lumped in with "irrational females" again, I would start to really approach my emotions from a more calm, clear manner. Which actually helps you so much when you have a conflict with somone because when you're calm, clear, logical, and rational, there's not a lot someone can say against your argument. But if you flip out and go over the top, you're going to lose a mountain of credibility, even if you actually have a good point or are "right."
Over the years I was actually even able to surpass my husband in the area of "rationality" and not let my emotions dictate how I deal with conflict. Now whenever my husband gets pissy or makes a huge fuss that's unwarented, I tell him he's being "irrational" and "emotional." That puts a stop to that behavior fast, since he knows it's true.
So basically the way I learned to deal with this problem was having a partner who would not allow me to deal with big problems/conflicts in a way that included yelling, throwing things, name-calling, hitting below the belt, or any tanrum-like behavior. And if I did, I would then have to suffer the "irrational" and "emotional" labels. That did it! And you know what? I can't tell you how much further it takes you when you leave emotions out of it (as much as possible). You get your way much more easily that way than you will with throwing a fit. Plus, as I'm sure you've dealt with too, you burn a lot of bridges when you go over the top with anger and words. People start to think you're a nut job, and that sure doesn't help anything :) Then you have to avoid them, and all of a sudden you're avoiding quite a few people due to your embarrassing/extreme behavior.
But I think it's really good that you posted this here because it shows that you know you have a problem and that you want to change it. Everyone is different so I don't know if my advice is going to be any good to you, but it's worth a try :)
Anger management.. ? maybe some medication..
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