Why I start crying every time I need to talk about serious things?
Every time I have to talk about something serious that is difficult for me to talk about - tears start rolling out of my eyes.
I am an intelligent and reasonable person, but I cannot stop this. Every time I feel this is happening - I keep telling to myself: what are you crying about? there is nothing to cry about, nobody died or going to, you just need to pull yourself together and solve this problem or discuss it with this person like adults do! And with my brain i don't understand why I am crying, but I cannot stop it.
So sometimes I prefer not to discuss serious issues with people to avoid it, but this is justa denial...
I am 30 y.o. and thinking maybe it's some kind of middle-age crisis? but then it's started too early, and needs to be dealt with somehow!
If you have any idea why this is happening - your help would be much appreciated!
Answer:
I have the same problem and have had it for decades. (I am 62 years old.) This was a really knotty problem for me when my late husband was alive because he would get mad every time I cried. I could not convince him that it was an involuntary reaction beyond my control. So, of course, his anger would distress me and cause MORE, genuinely upset, tears.
Now, though, I simply warn whoever I am talking to that I might have this reaction, and explain to them that it is just an involuntary physical reaction with no emotional significance behind it, and they should not be alarmed by it or pay any attention to it. That way, I don't get a negative reaction to it and it is easier to deal with.
dont stress you are just an emotional person and nothing is wrong with that ...i cry when people ask me "whats wrong" , i mean when something is wrong i keep it inside but once someone figures out im upset and they ask i cry like a baby every time. We are just emotional people ..dont keep your feelings inside let the tears roll if thats what it takes.
maybe theres something in u thats really sad that u havent let out yet..it may be a death...or loss of friend anything u might wanna see some1 2 ask whats going on
My personal view: May be you have the inferiority complex and lack confidence in yourself ... and you think people may not believe what you are trying to say. So just buckle up yourself and don't give a damn to what others think about your views and opinion just say it but say it with complete confidence and control over yourself..the following might be of some help...G00d lUcK..& God Bless u
Still, there is a time to laugh! Ecclesiastes chapter 3, points out that there is a time for everthing. Verse 4 says there is "a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance". Some Christians place themselves under condemnation because they cannot always present a smiling, laughing face. God never intended that we laugh for prolonged periods of time. We will experience many emotions in our Christian walk, we are promised laughter some of the time, but what kind of laughter?
No wonder Philippians 4:4 says "Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say "rejoice!". We have already discussed how our emotions cycle around from Laughter to weeping and back again, but our joy should remain constant. Joy from the Lord dwelling continually in our hearts is not turned off and on due to our circumstances, or due to meetings where we get hyped up, or not. Joy can be enduring. Seek after this real kind of joy.
Editor's Note: A team of University of Maryland School of Medicine researchers, led by Dr. Michael Miller, has recently shown for the first time that laughter is linked to healthy function of blood vessels. See news release
Laughter is the "Best Medicine" for Your Heart
Can a laugh every day keep the heart attack away? Maybe so.
Laughter, along with an active sense of humor, may help protect you against a heart attack, according to a recent study by cardiologists at the University of Maryland Medical Center in Baltimore. The study, which is the first to indicate that laughter may help prevent heart disease, found that people with heart disease were 40 percent less likely to laugh in a variety of situations compared to people of the same age without heart disease.
"The old saying that 'laughter is the best medicine,' definitely appears to be true when it comes to protecting your heart," says Michael Miller, M.D., director of the Center for Preventive Cardiology at the University of Maryland Medical Center and associate professor of medicine at the University of Maryland School of Medicine. "We don't know yet why laughing protects the heart, but we know that mental stress is associated with impairment of the endothelium, the protective barrier lining our blood vessels. This can cause a series of inflammatory reactions that lead to fat and cholesterol build-up in the coronary arteries and ultimately to a heart attack."
Although crying is a natural human phenomenon, there aren’t any solid theories about why people cry, why some people cry more than others and why women tend to cry more than men, writes Gina Kim in The Seattle Times.
Why baby cries almost constantly? Because they have no other way to express they new found emotions, feels, whatnot.
Same thing goes for the lady! Why is the lady weeping? Because she doesn’t have any idea on how to express the new found (OK, not really new, but she never learnt) emotions,
Your Body 19 04 1997 Crying game Why do humans laugh and cry?
Why do some people cry or laugh when they are sad, hurt, happy or think something is funny? Why do they even cry or laugh at all? Did someone invent these actions or do they come naturally? Do we know if early humans laughed or cried?
Lulu Kalman Rome
Humans are a social species, and as such, it is very important for an individual to express his or her feelings and emotions to fellow individuals. Laughing and crying are expressions of very basic emotions--happiness/joy/conten... and pain/sadness/confusion/anger. Sharing the first strengthens social bonds between individuals; whereas by sharing the last, an individual can achieve help and comfort. Incidentally, solitary, non-social animals probably hide their feelings because there is no reason to do otherwise.
Humans are very strongly oriented towards vision and sound, and most of our communication is based on vision and hearing--using facial expressions and other body movements together with speech and other sounds. Laughing and crying are both types of communication which use these forms of expression. One can only wonder what laughing and crying would be like, if we were like many insects and other species that communicate largely via smells, pheromones and tactile stimuli.
No one invented laughing and crying, no more than someone invented walking or sleeping. Babies laugh and cry all by themselves, without being taught how to do so. These actions simply evolved as the most adequate means for our species to express these basic emotions. Early humans most certainly laughed and cried, as did our ancestors and so do chimpanzees. Laughing and crying are part of our human heritage.
Irene Tjorve Follebu Norway
If you study how babies develop, you can see a partial answer to how the actions probably evolved in humans. Babies do not have to be taught to cry. As all parents knows, even new born babies use crying to show they are unhappy, long before they are capable of much else.
Babies start to smile some time after four weeks. It is believed that their first smiles are accidental. However, they soon learn that this wins a pleasing reaction from their parents. So they smile deliberately when happy. Laughter develops in a similar way a little later.
However, we all smile and laugh to show pleasure and amusement, even across cultural divides. So there must be an instinctive element as well.
Katrina Campbell Faringdon Oxfordshire
Humans are much more aware of themselves and others than the rest of the animal world. We can comprehend the past and the future, the pain, suffering and futility of most people's lives compared with the lives we would choose to lead.
Somehow, most people manage to carry on. Laughter and tears are two defence mechanisms that allow us to relieve our pent-up emotions and stop us from going stark raving mad.
F Grisley Barry Glamorgan
Languages, contrary to popular belief, hinder communication. If you don't know how to express yourself in a way that your fellows understand, you are being hindered by your vocabulary and language--monolinguists have trouble conversing with foreigners. So, to make life easier we replace words with emotions.
Laughing tells everyone you are happy. Wailing with agony is easier than submitting an oral report explaining why something hurts and you wouldn't mind a bit of help. On the other hand, the use of canned laughter seems to imply we need to be taught when and how to laugh.
Daniel Schutze Chislehurst Kent
I would like to add to the debate from a clinical viewpoint. Laughter is basically a voluntary action, but crying is not. The simple test is to laugh out loud--which can be done easily on demand. But, unless the habit has been cultivated over time, it is impossible to cry tears at will.
Smiling is a voluntary relaxation of the facial muscles and it conveys a message to other people that we are feeling happy and nonaggressive. It relieves us and puts others at ease. We need no more than to smile to convey what our feelings are. However, laughter is a much more complicated affair.
The act of laughing relaxes the face, chest, spine and abdominal muscles. A correlation has been shown between the readiness to laugh and a lower incidence of coronary artery disease. Is it reasonable to speculate that smiling is a means of communication but that laughing is a form of relaxation?
Further speculation is fuelled by the little understood reasons behind why we cry out when in pain. This is more than just exhalation or a cry for help as it does, in some way, seem to alleviate the pain. It would be interesting to try to correlate crying out with pain, laughing loudly and the body's production of pain-relieving endorphins. We know that endorphins flood the body when it experiences pain. Is this process boosted by crying out? Does a loud laugh have a similar effect and is it our personal way of achieving a "fix"?
Some people seem able to cry as a means of expressing sadness and self pity but for most it is the product of pain, pleasure or frustration. Clinical studies show that such tears contain derivatives of adrenaline, a hormone secreted in response to stress. The tears act as a safety valve excreting stress hormones when their levels get too high. This prevents potentially catastrophic rises in blood pressure.
Sweat, a close relative of tears, has a similar dual action. We secrete two types of sweat. A relatively clear liquid is produced to reduce body temperature by evaporation--this is the odourless fluid that drips from our bodies in response to exercise. The other type of sweat is caused by stress and worry and results in the smelly shirt armpit that is familiar after a trying day at work.
With babies, their crying is not true crying at all. It is just a shout for attention which is not accompanied by tears--until they become frustrated by a lack of response and their excess adrenaline needs a route out of the body.
J Stott Barry South Glamorgan
One of your correspondents maintains that smiling is a voluntary relaxation of the facial muscles. This is not so.
Smiling is due to contraction of several muscles attached to the corners of the mouth: the incisivus labii superioris, levator anguli oris and buccinator muscles, which comprise most of the orbicularis oris muscle and, in smiling, are assisted by the risorius muscle. Contraction of the risorius alone produces an unpleasant sardonic grin.
All these muscles are supplied by the facial (seventh cranial) nerve from its nucleus in the pons varolii in the brainstem. The only muscle which relaxes is the opposing depressor ang-uli oris--as this contracts it pulls the corner of the mouth downwards. The action of laughing requires the contraction of the diaphragm and abdominal muscles.
R Harrison Kent
Tears may fulfil many mysterious functions, but to suggest that they act as a safety valve for excreting excess circulating adrenaline is incorrect. If it were, the body would have to secrete the adrenaline in tears at a higher concentration than that found in the circulation.
Without a highly specialised organ that is able to concentrate blood solutes, the maximum concentration of anything that could be secreted is equivalent to its circulating concentration. In reality, some "filtration" occurs and the concentrations of blood-borne substances found in tears and sweat are consider00ably lower than those found in the blood. Clearly then, the excretion of adrenaline at a concentration less than, or equivalent to, that found in the blood would not lead to any net decrease in its circulating concentration.
The body is capable of regulating blood solutes by concentration and excretion--this is one of the specialised roles of the kidney. However, no equivalent structure exists for the production of tears. Many people, primarily through acculturation, do not cry readily. While it may be argued that crying can represent a therapeutic response to stress, the failure to do so, as suggested by your correspondent, certainly does not lead to acute hypertensive crisis.
maybe u just stress out and need to go on a vacation or something maybe u need to see a therapist
It is fine to have some sensitivity, Sometimes when I am singing I start thinking about the words and the message chokes me up so I have to clear my mind so I can sing the song.. Different things affect the emotional sensitivity in everyone. It is good to let it out. I think it is unhealthy to hold back your emotions.
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