How to overcome shyness/social anxiety for normal life?
How can someone overcome shyness to do normal things like hold a job/live on campus and just have friends w/o being uncomfortable? I find social anxiety often takes over whenever I try to force myself into something that requires people interaction. Any help would be appreciated!
Answer:
Social anxiety can cause these feelings, which can also lead to severe depression,
http://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/ds...
There is hope; I've been there, and still am there, it is a long, hard struggle. I recommend
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/cognitive_b... worked best for me, with mild anti-anxiety meds. I suffered from social anxiety for over 15 years. I've tried individual therapy, and group therapy and studied psychology for 10 years, as a profession, but also with the hope to cure myself.
Depending on your comfort level, you could go to a psychologist that practices CBT and specializes in anxiety disorders, seek a group therapy, or create one. Usually those that do attend the group therapy are a bit more high functioning because as you know, it can be difficult to speak in a group.
Another idea is to see if there are any local research studies being conducted that you could participate in.
The program that finally worked the best for me is this one: http://www.socialanxiety.us/findinghelp. and I was lucky enough to have a structured behavioral group to go along with it. Sometimes the people that actually attend this program come back home and form groups.
I recommend a mild anti-anxiety med in addition to CBT therapy.
Any questions, let me know ... I can't tell you how much this has improved my life!
Another great website: http://www.markway.com/acceptance/menu.h...
The more U judge others the more U judge yourself....stop judging others and the world U live in and U will find that people are not judgingg you its just in Yo head..keepin U in check from becomming superhuman
One word: Karaoke
you need to see a dr who specializes in anxiety disorders. social anxiety can make it virtually impossible to live a normal life, but is treatable with counseling and medication, and is well worth the time and money. God bless you.
Same here.
Just find a situation where you don't have to interact-sitting near people, for instance. Wait until you're comfortable. Then phase into a situation where you're likely to interact with people who have similar interests. Standard stuff.
If you have trouble handling a situation that requires only minimal socialization, you may need to go into therapy. Chances are, though, that you can clear this up on your own if you choose the right situations.
Good luck!
I have had big problems with shyness all my life. I know just how difficult it can be. I wish I had an easy cure for you, but sometimes self-healing and realization is the best.
After all, where does anxiety come from but from within. It stems from a fear that you're not good enough or that you will be judged somehow. It is SO difficult to overcome. Even now when I interact, I occasionally have this inner voice that says "Ugh, why did I say that! They must think I'm such a dork." Or worse yet, I find myself at a complete and utter loss for things to say. Small talk can be such a chore, especially with people who are ALSO bad at small talk.
There will always be anxiety in life. I think I'm starting to learn, though, that it's more common than you might think. I've learned that a LOT of the people I meet are just as socially awkward and anxious. It's hard to find things to say. Realize that your voice has just as much importance as everyone else's. And most of all realize that people really do have a short memory.
What you THINK was a really stupid thing to say might not have been as disastrous as you think.
The hardest thing is that this anxiety won't just go away. As with any skill, socializing requires practice, practice, practice. The more you do it, the easier it will get. Yes, I know how challenging that is. I've felt my heart race more times than you can count. But, I know you can do it. Just put yourself out there. People can and WILL like you for who you are.
For me,its about being a perfectionist. I sometimes worry if people won't like one little thing I say or do, and it will offend them.
Really, sometimes things Don't go how you expect and there is some weirdness in any circumstance, But the very important thing to realize is that people get over it real fast. they don't care about how you act as much as you did.
This is going to sound crazy, but it happened to me.
While in college..I went to a topless bar. I was too broke to do anything and I don't drink. I was a designated driver all through college.
I too was socially withdrawn. I found that it was easy to interact with the ladies in this place. They where as exposed as I felt. Somehow that interaction helped me quite a bit.
After a few visits, I was able to look people in the face when I talked to them. For me I learned how to be more comfortable around people by talking to uninhibited people.
Kinda wierd.but true.
You are not willing to seek professional help I assume. Short of that, public speaking courses and acting classes will help you break out of your shell.
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Answer:
Social anxiety can cause these feelings, which can also lead to severe depression,
http://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/ds...
There is hope; I've been there, and still am there, it is a long, hard struggle. I recommend
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/cognitive_b... worked best for me, with mild anti-anxiety meds. I suffered from social anxiety for over 15 years. I've tried individual therapy, and group therapy and studied psychology for 10 years, as a profession, but also with the hope to cure myself.
Depending on your comfort level, you could go to a psychologist that practices CBT and specializes in anxiety disorders, seek a group therapy, or create one. Usually those that do attend the group therapy are a bit more high functioning because as you know, it can be difficult to speak in a group.
Another idea is to see if there are any local research studies being conducted that you could participate in.
The program that finally worked the best for me is this one: http://www.socialanxiety.us/findinghelp. and I was lucky enough to have a structured behavioral group to go along with it. Sometimes the people that actually attend this program come back home and form groups.
I recommend a mild anti-anxiety med in addition to CBT therapy.
Any questions, let me know ... I can't tell you how much this has improved my life!
Another great website: http://www.markway.com/acceptance/menu.h...
The more U judge others the more U judge yourself....stop judging others and the world U live in and U will find that people are not judgingg you its just in Yo head..keepin U in check from becomming superhuman
One word: Karaoke
you need to see a dr who specializes in anxiety disorders. social anxiety can make it virtually impossible to live a normal life, but is treatable with counseling and medication, and is well worth the time and money. God bless you.
Same here.
Just find a situation where you don't have to interact-sitting near people, for instance. Wait until you're comfortable. Then phase into a situation where you're likely to interact with people who have similar interests. Standard stuff.
If you have trouble handling a situation that requires only minimal socialization, you may need to go into therapy. Chances are, though, that you can clear this up on your own if you choose the right situations.
Good luck!
I have had big problems with shyness all my life. I know just how difficult it can be. I wish I had an easy cure for you, but sometimes self-healing and realization is the best.
After all, where does anxiety come from but from within. It stems from a fear that you're not good enough or that you will be judged somehow. It is SO difficult to overcome. Even now when I interact, I occasionally have this inner voice that says "Ugh, why did I say that! They must think I'm such a dork." Or worse yet, I find myself at a complete and utter loss for things to say. Small talk can be such a chore, especially with people who are ALSO bad at small talk.
There will always be anxiety in life. I think I'm starting to learn, though, that it's more common than you might think. I've learned that a LOT of the people I meet are just as socially awkward and anxious. It's hard to find things to say. Realize that your voice has just as much importance as everyone else's. And most of all realize that people really do have a short memory.
What you THINK was a really stupid thing to say might not have been as disastrous as you think.
The hardest thing is that this anxiety won't just go away. As with any skill, socializing requires practice, practice, practice. The more you do it, the easier it will get. Yes, I know how challenging that is. I've felt my heart race more times than you can count. But, I know you can do it. Just put yourself out there. People can and WILL like you for who you are.
For me,its about being a perfectionist. I sometimes worry if people won't like one little thing I say or do, and it will offend them.
Really, sometimes things Don't go how you expect and there is some weirdness in any circumstance, But the very important thing to realize is that people get over it real fast. they don't care about how you act as much as you did.
This is going to sound crazy, but it happened to me.
While in college..I went to a topless bar. I was too broke to do anything and I don't drink. I was a designated driver all through college.
I too was socially withdrawn. I found that it was easy to interact with the ladies in this place. They where as exposed as I felt. Somehow that interaction helped me quite a bit.
After a few visits, I was able to look people in the face when I talked to them. For me I learned how to be more comfortable around people by talking to uninhibited people.
Kinda wierd.but true.
You are not willing to seek professional help I assume. Short of that, public speaking courses and acting classes will help you break out of your shell.
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