Was this rape?
My ex always said it was me who started it. However, many after years of being divorced and remarried this has never happened.
Was I raped by my ex who did have lust, pornography, sexual deviant issues and eventually cheated and left? Is that possible I was in denial of being abused sexually? Has this happened to anyone before?
Answer:
It depends on the kind of relationship people have with their partners. If they are close, and they have strong chemistry, there is no need to ask for permission every single time before sex. You could have started performing on him when you woke up feeling amorous and he is asleep. He wouldn't be accusing you of taking advantage of him.
Some couples have certain barriers, some couples are very close and they even enjoy rougher sex or role playing. If you played along thinking it's a wife's duty, instead of screaming and pushing him off you, then, still that is not his fault.
However, if he cheated on you and left you, he is a no-good person anyway, and you are better off without him.
Thinking in terms of , "Was I taken advantage of by my then-husband?" will make you miserable. Enjoy your new marriage and put the past behind you. If you want to do a little test, wake up in the middle of the night and start arousing your sleeping husband and see his reaction. People have certain expectations and different needs when they enter the marriage instituition.
Hope this helps and wish you the best.
Yes, I think you were in denial, because hey, you might have been scared to face the fact that your own life partner was raping you. Yes, he did. Plus you must've worried if anyone would beleive you. But just because you are married doesn't give anyone the right to violate you.
Now the next step... therapy? Confronting? Up to you, I wish you all the luck, and it's a huge step to admit what happened, so congrats.
I think it's hard to argue against that being rape. You were sexually assaulted by your ex.
Marriage does not imply sexual consent.
I can't say it has happened to me, but I have heard of stories similar to yours. Yes, it most definetly is rape. It does not matter if you are married or not. If you are a woman and you say NO, and the man forces himself on you, it is rape. It has been found in some courts around the country that within a marriage it still counts as rape. A woman's body is her own, and even in marriage she has the right to the use of her body. It's no wonder that after he left and you remarried this never happened again. Unfortunately it's too late for you to do anything, like bring him up on rape charges. Sounds like the son of a ***** deserved it. So sorry you had to go through something like that. I truly hope that marriage 2 is much better.
Whatever it was, be grateful for both of you that it's over.
yes that was rape, anytime you say NO and they dont listen that rape..
This is a tough one. My husband has done this to me. I'll wake-up to find him on me. For some the e reason he thinks haveing sex helps him go to sleep. Sometime I don't care and sometime I don't want to and he may or may not comply with me. Now, I don't consider what happend to me to be rape even though one may say it was. I think you have to look at the status of your relationship. A fundamental-feminist would say it absoultly is. Only you can answer your question. But I have a question for you. Would the answer to your question change anything? If this question is bothering you a lot I would seek counseling to address the trauma, confusion and all forms of abuse so you can have a healthy relationship. But if you were just asking for the sake of asking I think it would depending on the relationship you had with that man.
um he did, you didn't want to do it and he wanted to that harassment, i don't think you can do anything about it since he was your husband so sorry.i would of said that in my divorce court and get a spank load of money for abasement many one would of done that.
but you were scared of him so it's understandable that you didn't bring it up
it's very hard in the society to argue that your ex husband rape you!
You have no proves, it;s your word against hims!
Because a lot of women unsatisfied in bed speak like that about their lover or husband!
In many nights i was awake of him with a kiss, with something more...but i like it because I which every second his love!
If you in there moment hated what your husband do, and you had try over and over again to say to him that you don't want and he continued, so yes it's an abuse!!
I don't understand Why don't you told him next day for ex that you disagree that!
The communication it's very important in one relation, it's possible that your ex husband was one of the men who understand that the "no" of the women it's in fact "yes"!
Yes it was rape! You were not in a position to consent to this! Sick bastard! I am sure it is tough to deal with but you have to move on and let it go! Now I have had girlfriends in the past where she OK'd me waking her up by going down her but she said she loved that so that was consensual not forced like this is! Don't let this episode get in the way of enjoying your life with you present husband! Don't give your ex the power by letting it ruin your happiness. It is hard but keep your chin up and remember you did nothing wrong!
whatever it was ...it ends
forget and forgive
i am sorry that happened to you, but i am glad that you are safe now
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